At a very young age I started playing tennis. My Dad gave me a wooden Billie Jean King cut-off racquet. On the court, he fed me ball after ball until eventually I developed a wallop of a forehand and killer two handed backhand. My husband tells me it was my backhand that made him fall in love with me.

I used to play tennis a lot. In my thirties I wanted tennis for exercise but where I played it was generally doubles. I didn’t get a ton of exercise from doubles. That was disappointing because I wanted to sweat. I now see how dumb that was. What I should have focussed on was how fun it was to be playing a game with other women, a privilege. Screw the exercise, I could get that by taking a run.

In my forties I joined the club team. At first it was fun and casual but I realized that the women I was playing with wanted to move up to the next level. It was more important to them to get better than it was to me. They played three or more times a week, including individual lessons. I played less. I didn’t take lessons. There were other things I wanted to do.

In the summertime I played with a fun and quirky co-ed group of all ages. We had weekend tournaments and I won glass object d’art. I loved it. Then I tore something in my arm and had to stop. Then I enrolled in a three year MFA program and had three tween girls. I had long stopped playing “team” but, I’d still play occasionally, and it was fun.

By my fifties COVID hit and for a while tennis was cancelled. When it wasn’t I’d go every now and then. But, I got out of the habit. The more I didn’t play the easier it was not to. Now here I am in my mid fifties (ish) and I haven’t been playing much at all. In fact, leaving my home to do a lot of things has been hard for me to do.

My husband and I played over the Fourth of July and it was more fun than I remembered it being. And, Wimbledon is on! Yesterday I played with the summer clinic only because a friend called and said she was going. I went. It was so much fun! All women of all levels and ages. Why haven’t I been doing this more? I thought. Today, was a little round robin of all ages, men and women. I considered not going. I have stuff to do. But, I got myself to go! And, it was so much fun!

The moral? Call your friend to come to something. Get out there. Get back in the mix. It’s easy not to deal with other people, but is it good for us? No, it isn’t. In fact, it is part of the current problem in our society. We have stopped enjoying strangers for fear of their politics. For fear of disrupting our little lives. I’m going to break out of my little life, at least on the weekends :) And a ‘thank you’ to Maria for calling.

TTFN:

LOVE for you to participate in doing the Maven5Q!

From Katy Wheatley Wheatley….What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

This is tough. There are so many things I took for granted that are not around anymore, or if they are, they are so hard to access. When I was a teenager, there was a real sense of anything being possible in the future. I could go to university without being saddled with tens of thousands of pounds worth of debt……..

Want to give it a try? Here are the 5Q

What is the most surprising part of being in this stage of life?

What’s one new thing you’re trying to embrace in mid-life?

If you could give yourself a piece of advice 20 years ago, what would it be and why?

What’s something that our generation had access to that you’d like to bring back?

If the next 20 years of your life had a theme, what would it be and why?

Send them to moi!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com

I was advised to drop the paid category by a substack guru. I see her point, I do. I don’t have tens of thousands of readers (would like that, though) and the idea of putting a pay wall to block anyone from seeing what I’m doing here seems unwise.

But, I think I can do both. Have what I do at WSG free to all and then have a special category for the people that like what I am doing enough to pay a small monthly fee as an ‘atta girl. It means a lot to me and makes me think rather than turning my back on you, embrace you and share about something. Now, what should that something be?

I think video. But of what?

I’ve thought about reading poetry, good stuff. Dorthy Parker, Sylvia Plath, Shel Silverstein. Or, picking up some weird little thing in my house and telling a story about it, like the little carved wooden hippo in my office, or the single porcelain tea cup and saucer that was my great grandmother’s. Having a chat at my desk or going for a walk in my neighborhood? These would be short vids, but just for you.

What do you think?

Good morning, ladies! Before I release my much anticipated interview with Colleen Landry, where I giggle like an idiot the entire time (must work on professionalism), I want to remind you why WSG is here:

As you know, I interview women (also available in podcast) who pivot to something new after 50 years old. Many of us do so without intention but necessity: empty nest, retirement, divorce, lethargy. Gotta do something beyond playing Candy Crush! That’s what Women’s Survival Guide is focussed on…midlife and what’s next.

With that said, if you or someone you know is pivoting in her midlife (ladies only here) please, let me know! [email protected]

Last week was my written interview with Colleen, link below.

Please give it a read along with her 5 Maven Questions! read, watch, listen, share, comment, enjoy!

FIVE MAVEN QUESTIONS

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I always wanted to be a teacher. As a kid, I would drag (practically by the hair) my tired and hungry friends home where I would sit them in front of my chalkboard and teach them to read. Thanks to me, they all turned out to be very strong readers, even though they've yet to thank me. Whatever. I didn't do it for the glory.

What are you excited about now?

I'm excited about life right now. I'm having a blast with Instagram and TikTok and could not have dreamed this in a million years! I'm open to wherever this takes me and I'm grateful for what it's brought me so far. I'm immensely enjoying this phase of life. I can pursue my interests and dreams, knowing my inferior designer and I have successfully launched two very fine young men, both of whom are doing incredible things in the world as doctors...but more importantly, they're both funny and outstanding writers. That's the main thing, right???

What books are on your bedside table?

I love to read and can manage approximately seven (seconds) minutes every night in bed before I nod off. It takes me a decade to get through a book; I just bought Malcolm Gladwell's latest book, Revenge of the Tipping Point. I find it very interesting so far--if I could just stay awake though. I also adore anything David Sedaris writes. Kelly Ripa's book, Live Wire, is hilarious.

What do you do to relax?

I walk every day and that's my relaxation and thinking time. I'm always filled with ideas when I get home. I also take great pleasure from languishing in the morning, drinking coffee and reading the paper (Google it if you are a Millenial) and doing Wordle/Quordle and Dordle. I'm a fan of sacking on the couch in the evenings and watching Netflix. Oh...and I also sit silently for three hours/day as I practice transcendental meditation. NOT.

What category/subject would you add to the Guide?

I love the Survival Guide--such a great idea/community! Hmmm...maybe a humor category could be fun. Looking for a humor writer? Asking for a friend...

READY FOR A ZOOMIE HANGOUT WITH ME AND COLLEEN? ME TOO!

LET’S SEE IF WE CAN GET HER TO COME!

Shall we try a Sunday? How about Sunday, March 9th at 1PM EST…why 1 PM you ask? we have west coasters, east coasters and UK/Euro. Zoom Link to follow!

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? Applause for Alisa and Heather!

And…because we learn from others…

Please check out my friend John Spooner’s book!

“Wake Up is John Spooner’s love letter to the women in his life, from childhood to last week. These are women who have educated, mentored, inspired and even loved him, changing his life in many ways because of their special talents and practical solutions for life’s problems, great and small. It has been their empathy, compassion, and understanding, their kindness and humor that have made him better, more successful and happier than he could ever be. All this- comes so naturally to women.

Men will be inspired by these women’s words and deeds rolled out in Wake Up. No surprise to the women out there who read it as well, and nod their heads.”

That’s all for now,

xo

K

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

I heard about Melissa Fetter’s project long before I met her.

In the late 1970s and early 80s Beacon Hill in Boston had three bookstores, all have been closed for many years. In 2020, a whisper of a plan to bring a new bookstore was heard in the neighborhood. It seemed too good to be true: An entire nineteenth-century building on the main business street was to be turned into Beacon Hill Books and Cafe!

Look for tours of the store on WSG’s Instagram!

AND! Beacon Hill Books and Cafe Instagram!

Here we are in 2024. The store and cafe have been open for over two years and have blown the doors off all expectations.

In the best of times, commercial renovation in Boston is time-consuming, expensive and unpredictable. Add COVID and an extra year of construction and a myriad of other surprises, and you’ve got yourself a master class in frustration. But, as you will see she persevered, and we all benefit. Melissa’s story is remarkable, and her pivot is inspiring.

Why put a bookstore on Beacon Hill?

Melissa had lived in the Boston area in the early 1980s while her husband was in graduate school here. She spent thirty years living in other places, such as California and Texas. In 2020, her husband returned to Boston to teach, and Melissa found herself an empty nester in a basically new city. What to do?

Like all good entrepreneurs with some time on their hands, she looked around to see what the city was lacking. She narrowed her focus down to her new neighborhood, Beacon Hill and discovered there was no bookstore. But she also didn’t see a beautifully designed events venue, or a perfect little cafe that sells popovers.

As she tells me in our interview above, she had no lifelong dream to open a bookshop. She saw a need and went about filling it. She said that the whole concept was fully formed in her mind from the get-go. She wanted an entire building on Charles Street for her concept. She wanted it to be a destination for tourists and a venue for events. She wanted a cafe with inventive cuisine (she brought in renown chef Colleen Suhanosky). She already had the look and feel in mind for the store and cafe. She set about making it happen, even through COVID.

Lead by example

Beacon Hill Books and Cafe is a top-down enterprise. Melissa has approximately sixty people working for her. She has instructed her team to greet customers upon entry into the store. Eye contact and friendly acknowledgment are a must. The staff is always ready to answer questions and help find the perfect book.

The merchandising at BHB is irresistible. The quality is high and the items are useful! For instance, note pads and note cards are neatly wrapped in a cellophane sleeve, gift cards, tote bags are beyond well-designed, mugs, teas, and candles with their custom scent. Everything is created in the perfect greens and blues with a special font. The new umbrella lined in the Sister Parish design that covers the shop's walls is especially fetching. She also had a character-mascot and a book created for the children: Paige the squirrel. Available as plush animal! Adorable.

Age is not a hurdle

I hope you’ll watch our interview above because Melissa does a wonderful job of addressing exactly what Women’s Survival Guide is all about as it applies to her journey. She is proud of herself for creating Beacon Hill Books and Cafe and comfortable that she was the age she was when she took the risks she did. Like all the women I have interviewed, Melissa sees her age as an asset and not an anchor. Aside from gaining confidence, wisdom, and experience through life, she is not afraid of failure and not embarrassed by the idea of it. The same cannot be said for most of us when we were in our 20s, 30s and even 40s. Losing the fear of embarrassment is a wonderful side effect of menopause, I think! (Maybe we just don’t remember anything?).

THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT BEACON HILL BOOKS AND CAFE:

* The cafe has outdoor seating in their adorable courtyard most of the year with heaters and blankets.

* The interiors were designed using the fabrics and wall coverings by Sister Parish Design.

* There is a children’s area on the top floor with tiny doors to open, a train that circles the ceilings of two rooms, tiny chairs, and reading nooks.

* There is a separate young adults area next to the children’s section.

* There are small nook-rooms for intimate reading and looking for design, cooking, travel and young adults

* Beacon Hill Books and Cafe has become a community magnet and tourist must-see with an Instagram following of over 87,000.

* We are so grateful to have both Melissa and her bookstore in our neighborhood. They are a gift!

I will post tours of the store on WSG’s instagram @ womenssurvivalguide!!

ICYMI

And…

Alisa Kennedy Jones nominated Bebe Stockwell’s latest song, Minor Inconveniences in Horizon Newsletter’s Songs that mattered most in 2024…very exciting and so grateful!

Yours in books and music, Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas!!

xo,

Kim

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

MAVEN OF THE WEEK! DR HEATHER BARTOS!

You Should Know This About Heather:

* She’s an OBGYN surgeon and has delivered over 5,000 babies.

* She joined the Navy and left with both Navy and Marine Corps Commendation (among some others).

* Named one of the nation’s top five menopause experts by Oprah Winfrey and Maria Shriver.

* She’s a mom and she is married with lots of pets.

* She’s on a mission to change the conversation about menopause.

* She’s a co-founder of the nonprofit Institute for Women’s Futures.

* She is a Reiki Master and energy healer.

Our conversations have been a lot of fun!

You can see that in our interview above. But, menopause is serious for all of us experiencing its symptoms.

Do you feel yourself getting far more angry more often about issues you didn’t used to loose it over? Short fused? Brain fog? What? The same goes for aching joints, who knew that was a symptom? Does your vagina feel like it’s lined with barbed wire in the Sahara Dessert? And your hair, and your skin, and your weight and your motivation to do anything. At all. ALL OF THESE SYMPTOMS DON’T HAVE TO BE A PART OF YOUR LIFE. BUT….

You do need to be willing to talk to your doctor or to a menopause specialist like Heather and look into treatments if peri/menopause is bringing you down.

Heather says there are 33 symptoms (and counting) due to menopause. Knowing that there is potential help for most symptoms can flip the script of how we feel about ourselves now. Menopause should be seen as a ticket to ride life’s highways, not a death-to-fun sentence.

HEATHER SUGGESTS:

Baselines! She suggests starting in January getting appointments because then you can do them all in the same insurance year! Get to your doctors and get your baselines for things like:

* Gastro/gut doc

* Dermatology-get the moles checked

* Cardiac-very important! EKG & calcium score

* Bone density

* and don’t neglect your teeth

* Want to know more about menopause and the potential medications? Please check out Dr. Heather’s course in the Mothership that goes through all of it!

* Can you think of anything else? Put it in the comments and Dr. Bartos will see it!

Want to know more about menopause and the potential medications? Please check out Dr. Heather’s course in the Mothership that goes through all of it!

FIVE MAVEN QUESTIONS!

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a disco roller skating queen!

What are you excited about now? I’m excited about…the halftime show!

What books are on your bedside table? The Change, Dragons and Serpents

What do you do to relax? Relax: in my greenhouse: it’s quiet, there are plants and I can drink coffee by myself without bugs!

What category/subject would you add to the Guide? History of female rock!!!

Dr Heather’s Favorite Recipe!

Elote dip!

Actually I love any chip and dip but this one is pretty good!

It’s cream cheese, a can of corn, Trader Joe’s Elote seasoning (the short cut) and sharp cheddar cheese (1 cup): bake at 325 for 15-20 minutes and sprinkle green onion on top!

MORE GOOD STUFF ABOUT HEATHER!

The Empress, Alisa Kennedy Jones has recently done a fantastic interview with Heather, much in her own words. I recommend you check it out!!

DID YOU KNOW….

Dr. Heather Bartos is coming out with a sexy little book? It’s called Quickies! I am providing a link from The Empress web site…

”Join the exclusive waiting list for the midnight release of Quickies and be entered into a giveaway to receive a personally autographed copy of the book along with a $500 gift bag from Empress Editions. New giveaways to be added as the waitlist grows.”

“For me, Quickies isn’t just a book about sex; it’s a manifesto for unapologetically owning your desires and transforming intimacy in midlife. And if you’ve ever thought midlife marked the end of passion, think again—this book is here to reignite the fire and bring the fun back to intimacy. Because we all need to forge more pathways to joy when we’re in the messy middle.”

Coming this Spring! Join the exclusive wait list for VIP giveaways now!

AND…WE ALL NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS…Heather’s article in DailyOm!

How to Have Great Sex During Menopause

NEXT WEEK!

An interview with a Midlife Pivot Maven, Melissa Fetter, founder of Beacon Hill Books and Cafe. The most gorgeously decorated and well stocked bookstore and epicurean cafe you’ll ever see. Melissa had no retail background, never worked at a book store, but she saw a need in a city she had just moved to at the age of 60. She bought a building in a historic district, gutted it, rebuilt it to code, hired a book sommelier, all during covid. A fascinating woman and an incredible success.

Yours in menopause and books,

K

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

If you like this post please tap the little ❤️ above, and help Women’s Survival Guide grow:)

Happy Beginning of The Holiday Season!! Eeek!

I loved doing this interview with Eva. She is a total inspiration and example of putting your time and money where your heart is.

Industrial aquaculture first came to Eva’s attention due to an alarming plan to expand fish farms in Greece by 24 times, covering over 60,000 coastal acres in a relatively small country, similar in size to NY state. At the time, she wasn’t fully aware of the destructive impact of fish farming or the different types of aquaculture. However, the sheer scale of the proposed expansion set off alarms.

Leveraging the Rauch Foundation’s focus on research, she allocated resources to better understand the sector. What she uncovered was deeply concerning—despite significant warnings from environmental groups and scientists for years, industrial aquaculture has managed to expand exponentially and market itself as “sustainable,” obscuring its harmful practices. Today, approximately 80% of the salmon and nearly 100% of sea bass (aka Branzino) consumed in the US today is industrially farmed and imported.

Learn from Eva and get inspired to be active in the areas that you are passionate about!

Holiday gift ideas? Here are a few!

Original paintings! New works on paper $75-$200!

Little Women prints and fun little items!

Click the image to see more!

https://www.kimdrukerstockwell.com/kimslittlewomen

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

It's a hoe down of fun Fall wardrobe pieces to put some spring in your Fall step! Join me and Cai Cai Fritzinger of the Copper Shed, LLC to see her top picks!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

What are you up to on August 26? I’ll be having a Zoom hang at 7 PM EST, and I hope to see you there! Click the button below to copy the information to your calendar.

Did you have a Filofax? They were the iPhone of the 80s, 90s and into the 2000s. They came in countless colors and finishes, held your money, your address book and all sorts of other information. Such a handy little thing!

Recently, I came to realize I might become better organized if I write down events and see them in a weekly form, rather than typing them and seeing them day by day. Many of us are no longer tied to a desk and that means we do not sit and stare at a big monitor. Seeing our virtual calendar is difficult for these midlife eyes.

The enclosed video is both a trip down memory lane and thoughts on staying organized in an era when everything has to be gleaned from a 3-inch by 6-inch phone. Enjoy!

Do you use a phone only? Or do you have a paper calendar? Please share with us!

Join my fun midlife adventure! Subscribe today!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

Good morning my Midlife Warrior Women!

The big takeaway from my interview with Jeanne Blasberg is perseverance. Relentless perseverance. And, that winning one hard-fought battle will lead to success in another. We discover in this interview how she fought through self-doubt and kicked herself in the butt to keep going and finish what she started.

A Few Of My Favorite Things

* Funny AF series by CK Steefel

* Jeanne’s new novel: Daughter of A Promise

* Discovering new sites like The Midst which is a lot like what I wanted to do at WSG!

* Congratulations to Bebe Stockwell and her first Newport Folk Fest!

* My new show at OuiMillie! See below…also Instagram kimdstockwellstudio

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe

Welcome to my two part interview with Penelope Chilvers. Watch or listen to our talk (above) and learn how she built her business, as a single mom with two little girls, into a thriving shoe empire! And, yes..HRH Princess Kate loves her Tassel boot and wears them often!

I love the above photo of Penelope. It shows her fantastic style and color sense and her confident and feminine presence. She is adventurous in fashion, travel and business and it shows in the products she sells.

👢Next week I will post her fashion tips for our age group and her answers to the Five Maven Questions. They will be paywalled. To access her cool tips and answers upgrade to premium if you haven’t already!

ICYMI: Discount from Penelope Chilvers: Click below!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.womenssurvivalguide.com/subscribe