Women's Words

Lacie Phillips has a degree from Dallas Theological Seminary, and freely admits she is a Bible Nerd whom loves to bring people – and specifically women – together to study that book theoretically,

We discuss how we can be both helpers and helpees (at the same time) in a healthy relational way. And how we can pursue rest in the face of “be productive” guilt messages.

We talk about how Jesus is (like a) Gardener, and how gardening is a metaphor for balanced relationships based on personhood instead of hierarchy.

Mentions:

Babe (movie)

"Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced [God's] perfect love." 1 John 4:18 NLT Bible

“I am the true grapevine, and my Father is the gardener." John 15:1 NLT Bible

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:1-5 ESV Bible

Sit Still, Look Pretty - Daya (song)

Quiet - Milck (song)

Beth Moore’s Twitter

The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth, by Beth Allison Barr (the first book discussion group)

The In-Between Place: Where Jesus Changes Your Story, by Kat Armstrong

"Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel..." Phlippians 4:3a NIV Bible

HE{ART}SPACE PATREON

https://twitter.com/LacieSheree

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(Recorded May 17, 2022) Lacie Phillips, Heila Rogers, Jenny Decker

We talk about:

The roadblocks to women getting together and really talking. Both the value and the difficulty of that happening, at all.

How do we have healthy relationships when we haven't experienced them?

Building an empire of Good.

An article interviewing Claudia.

"Higher Power" and why it's important to have one.

We're all 'in process.' All in this (life) together.

Time doesn't heal everything -- it's what you do with the time.

"Struggle is struggle and pain is pain." -CC

Productive tears that are a release of stuck grief.

It's important to feel all the emotions and know why we feel that way = a part of being fully human.

Reaching out & trust issues.

The message: "Get over it, you're not a victim."

Nobody owes us anything; we don't need to put our problems on other people.

Remembering the (helpers) in our own lives.

Feeling alone as the human condition.

I've learned to say less...

Forgiving ourselves.

SHAME v. guilt

Being afraid of the outcome, if put good knowledge to use.

Related: taking on and ingesting pervasive, limiting societal messages.

Allowing space for people to admit wrongdoing.

Overall, this is an episode full of hope and mutual encouragement.

Thank you to Terryjosiah Sharpe for the impromptu created-especially-for-us at PPLD's

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(Recorded 2022) Claudia Contreras, Heila Rogers

The information contained in this podcast is for generalized educational purposes only. None of the contents of these conversations should be interpreted as individual professional advice. This content is not a substitute for any professional or medical services.

RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) is the nation's largest anti-sexual violence organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline (800.656.HOPE, online.rainn.org y rainn.org/es)

ATSA (Association for the Treatment & Prevention of Sexual Abuse) "Creating a world where

Together, we can shift narratives on preventing sexual abuse perpetration."

A different take with additional thoughts, on the 2017 Wonder Woman movie; before we dig in to how to respond (or not) to mansplaining -- and how “finding your core” and having "relational bubbles" relates to that…

Mentions:

A Handmaid’s Tale – tv series and book

People not welcome in the outdoors (article)

J Lo & Shakira’s halftime show

Anjuli's book: “Resilient As F*ck: Cultivating Resiliency In Your Everyday Life”

Music:

from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

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Terryjosiah Sharpe impromptu-composed and played the intro piano music at PPLD Studio916 for Women's Words, entitled "Chaos & Hope."

(Recorded 2022) Anjuli Kapoor, Heila Rogers, Jenny Decker

We talk with Kristen Faith Sharpe of Boss Babe Networking & the Nonprofit Makeover about vulnerability, what it means to “do the work.” And searching for, reaching out for, and stepping into finding help (therapy) for the helpers and leaders.

There is a lot of good food for thought here – especially in regards to the themes of: women coming together, the myth of the perfect victim, media representation of domestic violence, power differentials in abuse, and what it takes to leave an abusive relationship.

[I am sorry that my voice is louder than the others in this episode -- a result of editing/recording issues. The content is still worth the listen even with the need to perhaps adjust volume controls. Also the audio in this one has different pauses. Again, a minor variation and the conversation is worth getting used to the different sound. HR]

Mentions:

“This Changes Everything” documentary

The Bechdel test: The Bechdel test is a measure of the representation of women in film and other forms of fiction.

The Morning Show (TV show)

www.kristenfaith.com

Music Credits:

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(Recorded May 11, 2022 - Kristen Faith Sharpe, Heila Rogers, Jenny Decker)

In this episode, Tiffany Gunter, an award-winning

How women have been "erased" from existence.

How do we hear someone well, when they tell us they're in an abusive relationship? How do we "judge for truth" in that case?" What is someone's "truth?"

Join us as we explore answers in conversation.

Mentions:

Illustrator Ruth Krauss

Florence Nightingale

Big Eyes movie

Anonymous Was A Woman

Ada Twist: Scientist (book)

Ada Lovelace: Poet & Scientist

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Thank you to Terryjosiah Sharpe for the impromptu created-especially-for-us piano music in our intro entitled by him, “Chaos & Hope.”

*This podcast is simply people talking. It is people

If you can help to support this work and find it valuable, please consider following us on social media and donating on our Patreon.

(Recorded February 19, 2022)

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The ‘I don’t understand game’ & willful incompetence as an abusive tactic. Autonomy & faith -- & each person’s individual relationship with God/the Divine/a Higher Power. Honest searching for truth, honest exploration, versus anarchy. “On whose authority are you doing this?” "He didn’t want me if he couldn’t control me." Versus real relationship that works because there’s freedom. Mistakes are proof that you’re trying.

God as Male (pronouns used in churches) – and being painfully excluded from relating to God & a sense of belonging because of a lack of representation.

>>> Why is it that the most powerful Being has to be male?

A sense of the eternal & we people as eternal beings.

God as a warm, tender, gentle Mother and a safe place/relationship. 

People judging who/what God is. "I get to decide, and it's MY SAY. What I say, goes."

Who’s in charge? If you’re asking this in terms of a relationship then you’re missing out on a possible rejuvenative intimacy.

How surrender is beautiful but messy, like artwork.

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(Recorded 2/26/22) Heila Rogers, Jennifer Decker

We launch right in to discussing heightened topics: including SUBMISSION.

Jenny talks about her upbringing in a Brethren Assembly which she defines as a very uber-conservative church structure that teaches and emphasizes, “Men in charge and women obey.”

We talk about what we think submission really means. And how it relates to all relationships.

And speaking of Disney Princesses... (which we weren't here haha, but we do segue into it on the episode)

“Beauty is there, getting abused … but then she acts so beautiful and so perfect & eventually he sees… (the Beast) … She tames the Beast with her codependence … She bows to his demands & then magically he transforms into a Prince… This is why we don’t ask women, ‘why did you stay?' …Because we’ve been teaching them since they were born: to stay.” 

Codependency and blaming the victim.

Overspiritualization of abuse; how we fool ourselves into sacrificing ourselves for another’s ego or demands. Related: one-sided work that women undertake to “fix a relationship.”

“The antidote to over-spiritualization is to believe behavior.”

How men operating in narcissism pick strong women and then gain strength from cutting them down.

How feelings and “being sensitive” makes us human.

Definitions:

Disassociation or Dissociation - Dissociation is an adaptive response to threat and is a form of “freezing.” It is a strategy that our brain often uses when the option of fighting or fleeing is not an option. We shut down to draw less attention to ourselves, or in extreme cases play dead by leaving our body and mentally and emotionally shutting down. It is important to know that dissociation is a normal response in the face of trauma. 

It is also useful to note that many people oscillate between being hyper-aroused and dissociating. Both experiences stem from the same part  of the brain (limbic system) that is not settled and perceives current experiences through a distorted lens of a past trauma.

Excellent article on healing dissociation and reconnecting to one's body on the CPTSD foundation site here.

Mentions:

Song with Snow White and the 7 Dwarves: Daya - Sit Still, Look Pretty

“Submission” reference to Leslie Vernick’s book: The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

Bible reference:

New International Version

His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” John 9:2

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(Recorded 2/26/22) Jennifer Decker, Heila Rogers

We talk about why it means so much that this podcast is called Women’s Words. How women have been silenced both literally and figuratively in the church, and some examples of that. Jodie is a teaching pastor and speaker extraordinaire with a strong drive for healing from all kinds of abuse, including spiritual or religious.

We discuss victim/reporting-party blaming & victim self-blaming. How amazing and capable children are. What, "letting your anger go" means. How to not become, or continue being, the abuser.

If you're part of the Church or a similar organization you'll find essential conversation here as to how to respond to people in the aforementioned situations.

We talk about trauma counseling and its relationship to spiritual help, and briefly discuss what “trauma-informed" means.

Mentions ~

Songs: No Man Is Big Enough for My Arms by Ibeyi (Naomi & Lisa-Kaindé Diaz), Brave by Sara Bareilles

Book: Think Like A Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace & Purpose Everyday by Jay Shetty

[The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on this podcast are the speakers' own. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. Mentions do not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service.]

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(Recorded 3/23/22) Jodie Austin, Heila Rogers, Jennifer Decker

This one is fast, dense, and intense. Join us as we talk about…

Forced forgiveness.

… encouraging anger in relation to forgiveness.

Acknowledging ‘signal anger,’ in relation to each of our God-given dignity. How we feel angry for a reason when our boundaries are crossed. How women are expected to be receivers only. You’ll be surprised (or not) what the latin word for vagina means. 

How “clean” anger causes movement, agency or action. How using it to propel us forward and out of abuse is crucial. How reconciliation takes two and should necessarily skew towards the one who ‘broke the relationship.' How we’re all conditioned to believe women are less competent than men … and more.

Betrayal Trauma definition: "Betrayal trauma is the result of the violation of a deep attachment, where there has been abuse or neglect of an individual who depends on that attachment for their safety and well-being."

Betrayal Trauma occurs most commonly from:

Betrayal trauma differs vastly from other types of trauma because it involves not just the experience of abuse but also the experience of being betrayed by a key relationship, such as a parent, caregiver, guardian, significant other, or other individual who is relied upon for support and safety.

Source: www.mindwellnyc.com

(Also see definitions for: Complex Trauma C-PTS(D) for further understanding.)

Mentions ~

Traveling Mercies & Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith (forgiveness) by Anne Lamott. Nadia Bolz-Weber (forgiveness). Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine (releasing trauma stored in the body)

Thank you to Terryjosiah Sharpe for the impromptu created-especially-for-us at PPLD's Studio916, piano music in our intro. Entitled by him, “Chaos & Hope."

(Recorded 2/26/22) Jennifer Decker, Heila Rogers 

We talk about why it means so much that this podcast is called Women’s Words. How women have been silenced both literally and figuratively in the church, and some examples of that. Jodie is a teaching pastor and speaker extraordinaire with a strong drive for healing from all kinds of abuse, including spiritual or religious.

We discuss victim/reporting-party blaming & victim self-blaming. How amazing and capable children are. What, "letting your anger go" means. How to not become, or continue being, the abuser.

If you're part of the Church or a similar organization you'll find essential conversation here as to how to respond to people in the aforementioned situations.

We talk about trauma counseling and its relationship to spiritual help, and briefly discuss what “trauma-informed" means.

Mentions ~

Songs: No Man Is Big Enough for My Arms by Ibeyi (Naomi & Lisa-Kaindé Diaz), Brave by Sara Bareilles

Book: Think Like A Monk: Train Your Mind for Peace & Purpose Everyday by Jay Shetty

[The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on this podcast are the speakers' own. The material and information presented here is for general information purposes only. Mentions do not imply endorsement of or opposition to any specific organization, product, or service.]

Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):

https://uppbeat.io/t/northwestern/hometown

License code: U5ESYKFAO2UN3UCH

(Recorded 3/23/22) Jodie Austin, Heila Rogers, Jennifer Decker