Wonder Storytime with Alice and Friends

“You’d be cross too, if you’d a wig like mine,” the Wasp went on. “They jokes, at one. And they worrits one. And then I gets cross. And I gets cold. And I gets under a tree. And I gets a yellow handkerchief. And I ties up my face – as at the present.”

Alice looked pityingly at him. “Tying up the face is very good for the toothache,” she said.

“And it’s very good for the conceit,” added the Wasp.

“‘Your majesty shouldn’t purr so loud,’ Alice said, rubbing her eyes, and addressing the kitten, respectfully, yet with some severity. `You woke me out of oh! such a nice dream! And you’ve been along with me, Kitty — all through the Looking-Glass world. Did you know it, dear?’”

“ Everything was happening so oddly that she didn’t feel a bit surprised at finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sitting close to her, one on each side: she would have like very much to ask them how they came there, but she feared it would not be quite civil. However, there would be no harm, she thought, in asking if the game was over. `Please, would you tell me — ‘ she began, looking timidly at the Red Queen.”

“`The great art of riding,’ the Knight suddenly began in a loud voice, waving his right arm as he spoke, `is to keep — ‘ Here the sentence ended as suddenly as it had begun, as the Knight fell heavily on the top of his head exactly in the path were Alice was walking. She was quite frightened this time, and said in an anxious tone, as she picked him up, `I hope no bones are broken?’

`None to speak of,’ the Knight said, as if he didn’t mind breaking two or three of them. `The great art of riding, as I was saying, is — to keep your balance properly.”

“The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said `Talk, child.’

Alice could not help her lips curing up into a smile as she began: `Do you know, I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters, too! I never saw one alive before!’

`Well, now that we have seen each other,’ said the Unicorn, `if you’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in you. Is that a bargain?’

`Yes, if you like,’ said Alice.”

“…the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more human: when she had come within a few yards of it, she saw that it had eyes and a nose and mouth; and when she had come close to it, she saw clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. `It can’t be anybody else!’ she said to herself. `I’m as certain of it, as if his name were written all over his face.’

“Now I’ll give you something to believe. I’m just one hundred and one, five months and a day.”

“I can’t believe that”’ said Alice.

“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

“They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she was just looking round to see if the word “TWEEDLE” was written at the back of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one marked `DUM.’

`If you think we’re wax-works,’ he said, `you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren’t made to be looked at for nothing, Nohow!’

`Contrariwise,’ added the one marked `DEE,’ `if you think we’re alive, you ought to speak.’”

"`What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you come from?’ the Gnat inquired.

`I don’t rejoice in insects at all,’ Alice explained, `because I’m rather afraid of them — at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the names of some of them.”"

“O Tiger-lily,’ said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving gracefully about in the wind, `I wish you could talk!’

`We can talk,’ said the Tiger-lily: `when there’s anybody worth talking to.””