In Asian households, the Silent Treatment can be a regular discipinary practice.  

This episode goes over the definitions of the Silent Treatment or Discarding, how toxic it is, and the negative effects from experiencing it. There may be triggers, and behaviours we still struggle with into our adulthood because of experiencing this that we may not fully realize. We may feel that we need to accept this treatment because they are our parents, but we do not.

I share my personal experience with Discarding, and a poem I wrote, titled "No Longer Available". 

We are worthy of being No Longer Available to be discarded by our parents.

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For some of us who have childhood trauma, we fear having children as we do not want to pass down our trauma. Sometimes we think not having children means we are truly ending the cycle of generational trauma.  

Choosing whether or not to have kids is a difficult decision, and sometimes fear gets in the way of us really knowing what we want.  

This episode discusses some common fears of having children for those who have experienced childhood trauma, and how we can tackle our fears in order to truly know if we are listening to what we want and ultimately making the best decision for ourselves. 

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There can be a lot of pressure from your Asian family to find a partner who is also Asian, but finding a great partner can be hard when we don't know what a healthy relationship looks like, and it has nothing to do with whether they are Asian or not. 

If you're like me and have a non-Asian partner, then there may be a lot of cultural differences you are facing.  

It may be easier to navigate when it's just the two of you, but when your family starts to grow, having a partner with a different upbringing can also mean differenting parenting styles.  

This episode goes into some differences you may face and how growing, changing, and working together with these differences and with your partner can be harmonious. 

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Mother's Day is coming up and unfortunately for some of us, it is not a joyous or celebratory day. For some of us, these parental celebratory days are hard and emotional, a harsh reminder that we do not have a great relationship with our parents. 

This episode talks about what we can do to process our feelings about this day, to hopefully make the next years to come less painful. We discuss how to "grieve" and let go of the ideal parent we always wanted/needed, and how we can come to a place of acceptance.

If parental celebratory days are hard for you, I hope this episode can provide some comfort that you are not alone and provide some helpful ways to get you through it. 

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When you start looking for more information about childhood trauma, for your people who will understand what you are going through, you are likely to come across the terms Narcissistic Parent or Emotionally Immature Parent.  

There are many similarities between the two and it can be confusing. Which fits your situation better? 

This episode dives into the definition and differences, and steps you can take to better improve yourself and your life if the negative effects of these traits are wearing on you. 

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We're back from break! And though late to the party, this episode recaps the Academy Award Winning movie Everything Everywhere All At Once.

This movie has everything: sci fi, action, comedy, drama - and importantly, it represents and understands Asians, our culture, our upbringings, our struggles. The story shares about generational trauma, family dynamics, mental health, and how it is never too late to work on relationships and emotional connections. Personally, it was an emotional movie for me that I needed to be mentally prepared for.  

There are spoilers, so this episode is good for those who need an overview of what this movie entails before deciding if they can watch it, and also good for those who've seen the movie and want to rehash some epic and emotional moments. 

*Please note* There will be a change to our podcast schedule, episodes will now be released every other Monday. Thank you for your understanding! 

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This episode concludes our topic of complicated relationships with our parents by discussing if and how much do we owe our parents.

Asian culture is talked about and how it is tradition for us to care for our elders, the complexities involved with helping our parents especially when there is trauma, and how much is enough?

*Please note* I will be taking a short break to enjoy family visiting and Easter Holidays.

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This is Part 3 on the topic of complicated relationships with our parents.

It is commonly said that "they showed love differently".

This episode discusses the love languages and ways our Asian parents tried to show us love, to try and understand where they were coming from, but to also understand and accept how it may not have been enough for us. And if it was not enough for us, what can we do about it now?

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Continuing on the topic about complicated relationships with our parents, this second part is about believing they did the best they could.

When we are stuck in our hurt and pain, it is hard to understand that their actions were the best they could do. And it gets even stickier when perhaps we can believe that they did the best they could back then, but it doesn't feel so true for right now. Right now, where the time and resources are different, yet the behaviours and outcomes are still the same.

This episode also starts the conversation on buiding some healthy boundaries, because even though it may be their best, we are allowed to say we want and deserve better.

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What's more complicated than the relationships we have with our parents?

So complicated that it's been broken down into 3 Episodes.

This first part goes over how we can come to terms with the fact that our parents were hurt themselves, or had a hard life and have their own traumas, and this pain ultimately lead them to hurting us as well. It's important for us to recognize that giving compassion and understanding around this does not condone their actions, and that we have the power to change this for ourselves so the behavioural pattern does not have to continue.

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