Martin Luther once said, “There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage.” Marriage is one of God’s great gifts—but like any meaningful relationship, it requires intentional care and wisdom.
That’s especially true in blended families. When two people come together later in life—often bringing children, financial histories, and past experiences of loss—the conversations surrounding money, inheritance, and responsibility can become complex.
To explore how couples can navigate these challenges faithfully and wisely, we were joined by Ron Deal and Greg Pettis, co-authors of The Smart Step Family Guide to Financial Planning. Their work offers practical guidance for couples seeking peace, clarity, and unity in second marriages.
One of the most helpful tools they recommend is something called a “Togetherness Agreement.”
Why Blended Families Face Unique Financial Challenges
When couples enter a second marriage, they aren’t simply merging households—they’re merging entire life stories.
Often, there are children from previous relationships, existing debts or investments, businesses, aging parents who need care, and deeply personal financial experiences shaped by the past. For many, divorce, death, or financial conflict in a previous marriage has left emotional scars that naturally create caution in the next one.
As Ron Deal explains, conversations about bank accounts or investments rarely stay purely financial.
They quickly become conversations about trust, security, and provision—especially when children or extended family members are involved. Questions arise, such as:
How should accounts be structured?
How will assets be divided in the future?
How do we care for children from previous marriages?
What happens to a business or an inheritance?
Without clear communication, assumptions can easily lead to misunderstanding or conflict later on.
The “Togetherness Agreement”
To help couples navigate these conversations, Deal and Pettis developed the idea of a Togetherness Agreement.
This agreement is more than a financial document. It’s a framework for couples to intentionally discuss expectations, values, and responsibilities before problems arise.
Greg Pettis describes it this way: couples are essentially “writing the rules for their marriage with love and respect for both parties.”
The agreement helps address emotionally charged topics such as:
How many financial accounts will a couple maintain
Whether finances will be fully combined or partially separate
How assets will be passed to children
Responsibilities toward aging parents
Ownership of businesses or investments
The roles of stepchildren, grandchildren, and extended familyBy putting these conversations in writing, couples gain clarity and reduce the risk of future confusion.
Should It Be a Legal Document?
In many cases, Deal and Pettis recommend that couples make their Togetherness Agreement a formal legal document, often with the help of an attorney.
While marriage itself is a legal covenant, it doesn’t always address the specific financial realities of blended families. A written agreement can help
