WRESTLING SOUP

Anthony Missionary Thomas was five minutes deep into a passionate Wrestling Soup rant about the psychology of a perfectly executed heel turn, building to what was sure to be an epic crescendo, when Joe Numbas completely derailed the show."Hold on, Missionary," Joe interrupted, sounding genuinely troubled. "I just realized something important."Anthony sighed, adjusting his mic and already bracing for the detour. "What is it, Joe? We're on the air.""If a referee takes a bump in the middle of the woods, and there's no live audience around to see it... does he still stay unconscious for ten minutes?"Anthony paused, the brilliant analytical breakdown he’d prepped completely evaporating from his brain. He rubbed his temples, staring blankly at his recording software. "Joe... yes. Obviously. It's basic wrestling physics. The trees would get a near-fall.""Just checking," Joe replied seamlessly. "Anyway, back to your monologue about rest holds."Anthony just shook his head. Just another episode in the Soup.

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• San Diego still treats Roman like a god
• Penta is the direction they actually need
• Roman told Sami his title means shit
• Bron Breakker almost spiked himself again
• He needs to stop the high-risk spots
• Chelsea looks better next to all the green girls
• Bird Girl’s crackhead look is finally working
• They have too many Latin women on the roster
• Hendry is just bullying JD McDonagh now
• Gable, Rey, and Dragon Lee was solid
• Roman walked slow while his family got crowbarred
• Crown Jewel is still on despite the executions

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• Roman’s interviews are making him look worse
• Big metric mover
• Hulk Hogan is his GOAT, complete with tassels
• He won’t do house shows in case he gets hurt
• Edge says 2027 is his last year
• WWE staff don’t want to go to Saudi
• Dave Meltzer thinks it’s not their fight
• Max Caster got fired for one rap line
• TNA should have checked the lyrics first
• Money decides who gets punished and who doesn’t

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• Roman still vanishes when his family needs him
• Solo’s Matrix shirt is peak 2003 energy
• Triple H is eating shit sandwiches again
• Crown Jewel is still on despite the missiles
• Penta opened Raw, Jevon is in everything
• Bron’s spear on Jevon looked decent
• Carmelo Hayes is now repping the Bay
• Usos vs 962 belonged on the PPV
• Refs got character time that will go nowhere
• Roxanne still isn’t a believable heel
• Chad Gable and Rey Fenix was the best match
• Oba is just recycling old Rock promos
• Bird Girl and Bayley was dinner theater
• Main Event is moving to Rumble now

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• Vegas matches started with tiny, sleepy crowds
• Nikkita-Callie opener was punch-kick and flat
• Cam-Harlem match woke the room up
• Harlem is basically just his dad
• Mixed tag was the best thing they did
• Callie got the NXT call-up on camera
• Half the cast already had contracts anyway
• Season three format was worse than the first two
• Releases killed the suspense and the ratings
• ID program works for some, not most
• They should just make a kids wrestling show

LUFISTO
YouTube: @LuFistoOfficial
Facebook: facebook.com/LuFisto
Instagram: @LuFisto_arts_and_prowrestling
X: @LuFisto
Upcoming documentary: lufistodoc.com

JEFF LIPPMAN
YouTube: @GardenofThoughtpod
Facebook: Jeffrey Lippman
X: @Dos_Evil


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• Roman-LA Knight opener was actually pretty good
• Crowd finally treated Roman like the heel
• Clean finish deflated everyone, commentary still simped
• LA Knight is just the company’s whipping boy
• Women’s ladder match was a green car crash
• Tiffany nearly killed herself on the first bump
• Roxy’s sadist laugh was the only heel spark
• Tiffany wins the briefcase, story goes nowhere
• Oba-Bronson was solid, Bronson made Oba look huge
• Oba is just being built for Roman or Brock
• Liv takes the title, Stephanie and Becky cooled
• Penta wins the men’s briefcase in Oompa Loompa gear
• Punk got booed, Owens got ignored
• Bron’s dog-eat gear and ambulance spot scared everyone
• Roman’s not going to Saudi, everyone else is

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• Raw was a snoozer heading into Money in the Bank
• Jada talks better than dull Royce Keys
• Oakland faction dies by WrestleMania, maybe under LA Knight
• Ethan Page is settling in as a jobber
• Stephanie, Liv, and Becky have all cooled off
• Heels make up, babyfaces just ratfuck each other
• SmackDown isn’t important enough for one PPV match
• Roxanne is the safest women’s briefcase pick
• Punk or Owens wins, Penta already lost clean
• Bron Breakker still asks Heyman if he’s a good boy
• Oba beats Bronson, Roman wins and goes home
• Crown Jewel ignores the war-zone travel warning
• Cody started the tribalism he now complains about
• Necro Butcher got a legends deal, then embarrassed them

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• Schiavone held the PAC tribute show together
• Middle age makes surprise deaths feel closer
• Alexa Bliss simps ignored the pee story
• WWE counterprogramming grief still won’t die
• Drake Maye hate is mostly Patriots spite
• Bruins ownership refuses the changes other teams made
• Taylor’s MSG wedding was pure cornball kayfabe
• Davey Richards ego killed a real payday
• Low Ki talked himself out of the money
• AEW’s whoa spots stopped working years ago
• Alex Jones slipped the mask on Candace Owens

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• Half the cast was already released before airing
• Serena and Carly had a strong, pointless match
• Nattie coaching Chris and Shady was the real show
• Mason played heel well, then got cut anyway
• Nikkita Lyons locked a Las Vegas spot
• Trill London debuted a camera and Cylon helmet
• Tristan and Micah still the only act that works
• Callie kicked Layla in the eye, match stayed great
• Braxton’s paperback book still isn’t a weapon
• Harlem booked his own match and earned Vegas
• Harley Riggins finally dropped most of the goofy
• Cam Hendrix goes to Vegas looking like a star
• Mixed tag was the season’s best match so far
• Callie Armstrong takes the last Las Vegas slot
  
  

LUFISTO
YouTube: @LuFistoOfficial
Facebook: facebook.com/LuFisto
Instagram: @LuFisto_arts_and_prowrestling
X: @LuFisto
Upcoming documentary: lufistodoc.com

JEFF LIPPMAN
YouTube: @GardenofThoughtpod
Facebook: Jeffrey Lippman
X: @Dos_Evil


Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/wrestling-soup--1425249/support.

• AEW’s PAC tribute was sad but humanizing
• Young Bucks were fine, just people for once
• WWE didn’t move Worlds Collide, fans called it evil
• Meltzer wanted the show moved, Russo said business
• MJF skipped it to protect his heel character
• Xavier Woods melting down was the real moment
• No autopsy yet, wellness-policy talk is premature
• Roman still fighting leukemia, still barely fighting
• Alexa Bliss dropped a drunk song with her husband
• Layla once caught Kelly Kelly’s pee in her mouth

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/wrestling-soup--1425249/support.