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What happens when you still love your partner, but somewhere between kids, careers, stress, responsibilities, and everyday life, you stop feeling truly connected?

In this episode of WTF Just Happened? Life Is Messy, Let’s Talk About It, Hilary and Sada sit down with Australian relationship and behavior specialist Nikki Foord for an honest conversation about midlife relationships, marriage, intimacy, attraction, communication, and how to reconnect with your partner after years—or decades—together.

Nikki explains why long-term couples can start feeling more like roommates, how our identities change throughout a marriage, and what happens when resentment, disconnection, or loss of attraction creeps in. We talk about sex and intimacy in midlife, marriage after 40 and 50, emotional connection, communication, losing yourself while caring for everyone else, and finding your way back to each other.

Nikki also shares her powerful Values, Priorities & Boundaries framework—a simple way to make decisions, create healthier boundaries, reduce resentment, and strengthen your relationships.

Whether your relationship is struggling or you simply want to feel closer to your partner again, this episode is full of practical, honest advice about love, marriage, connection, and relationships in midlife.

🎙️ Guest: Nikki Foord
Relationship & Behavior Specialist
Elevated Living — Relationship Redesign, From The Inside Out
🌐 nikkifoord.com.au
📧 https://www.nikkifoord.com.au/connect

WTF Just Happened? Life Is Messy, Let’s Talk About It — real conversations about midlife, relationships, menopause, divorce, grief, friendship, and everything nobody prepared us for.

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

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What are the warning signs of gynecologic cancer — and would you recognize them?

September is Gynecologic Cancer Awareness Month, and we’re joined by cancer survivor and advocate Heather for a conversation every woman should hear.

There are five main types of gynecologic cancer: ovarian, uterine/endometrial, cervical, vulvar and vaginal. And many of the symptoms — including bloating, abnormal bleeding, pelvic pain and urinary changes — can be easy to dismiss or mistake for something else.

Heather shares her own unexpected cancer diagnosis after a routine annual exam, the decision by one healthcare provider that she believes saved her life, and what she learned about advocating for yourself when something doesn’t feel right.

We also talk about gynecologic cancer screening, Pap and HPV testing, hysterectomy, fertility, finding the right doctor, and why knowing what is normal for YOUR body matters.

Plus, Heather shares how she turned her experience as a survivor into advocacy through Caring for Your Girly Bits and the National Race to End Women’s Cancer.

In this episode: gynecologic cancer symptoms and warning signs, ovarian cancer, cervical cancer, uterine/endometrial cancer, vulvar and vaginal cancer, women’s health, cancer screening, hysterectomy and patient self-advocacy.

🎧 Listen, share this episode with the women in your life, and remember: if something feels different, ask the question.

Learn more & get involved:
Foundation for Women’s Cancer: https://foundationforwomenscancer.org/
National Race to End Women’s Cancer: https://foundationforwomenscancer.org/get-involved/move4her/race-to-end-womens-cancer/
Caring for Your Girly Bits: https://support.foundationforwomenscancer.org/HeatherMB26

This episode is for awareness and educational purposes only and is not medical advice. Please speak with your healthcare provider about individual symptoms or concerns.

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

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What really happens to sex and desire after 40?

This week, we’re joined by Sara Rian — Certified Sex Therapist, licensed clinical social worker, marriage and family therapist, grief counselor, author and grief poet — for a very honest conversation about women, sex, intimacy and the things many of us were simply never taught.

We talk about why women may feel like their desire has disappeared in midlife, how hormones, stress, the mental load, resentment and relationship dynamics can affect sexual desire, and why there may be absolutely nothing “wrong” with you just because your sex life doesn’t look the way it did in your 20s.

Sara also completely reframes what we’ve been taught to think of as sex — including why intercourse doesn’t have to be the main event, the orgasm gap, women’s pleasure, pelvic-floor health, spontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why so many women have spent decades performing rather than actually being present during sex.

And yes, we go there: vibrators and sex toys, why some men feel threatened by them, how to introduce them into a long-term relationship, and why women shouldn’t have to manage a partner’s discomfort at the expense of their own pleasure.

Then the conversation turns deeply personal as Sada talks about losing Kris and missing not only sex, but touch, closeness and simply having another body beside her. Sara explains sexual bereavement, widow’s fire and what can happen to desire after losing a spouse — including why grief can cause sexual desire to disappear for some people and intensify dramatically for others.

This is Sex After 40 101: honest, educational, funny, vulnerable and full of things we wish women had been taught decades ago.

Sara Rian

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sara_rian_books/

Website: https://www.sararianbooks.com/

Books: https://www.sararianbooks.com/books

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

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Master sustainable midlife weight loss and discover why traditional diets fail women over 40. In this episode of WTF Just Happened?, Hilary and Sada sit down with Cassie, a clinical mental health counselor who lost 115 pounds by treating weight loss after 40 as a behavioral issue rather than a nutrition problem. As the creator of Weightless with Cassie, she has coached over 2,000 women through the psychology of weight loss during perimenopause, menopause, and midlife hormone shifts.

In this conversation, we talk about:

• Why weight loss after 40 feels completely different than it did in your 20s
• The moment Cassie realized her dieting patterns matched the textbook criteria for disordered eating
• How reframing food as a behavioral problem instead of a "food problem" changes everything
• The "elephant vs. tiger" mindset shift — why telling yourself you "can't" have something backfires
• GLP-1 medications: an honest breakdown of the data Cassie has gathered from her community on GLP-1 vs. non-GLP-1 weight loss
• Why protein and fiber matter more than any meal plan
• How self-talk physically changes your body through psychoneuroimmunology
• Building automatic habits instead of relying on motivation or willpower
• The role of stress, cortisol, and sleep in midlife weight loss
• Why hitting a number on the scale doesn't fix how you feel about yourself

If you've ever felt like you "know" everything about dieting but still can't make it stick, this episode is for you.

Connect with Cassie:

• Instagram: @weightlesswithcassie
• Program: Weightless with Cassie — 21-Day Automatic Reset ($37)
• Linktree: https://linktr.ee/wtfjusthappenedpodcast

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

Send us Fan Mail

• Hilary's Favorites: Coco & Eve Hair Mask, Lux Unfiltered No. 12 Tanning Drops, Chom Chom Pet Hair Remover, StyleKorean Box, Borboleta Lash Serum, and Wet & Forget Shower Cleaner.
• Sada's Favorites: Laura Geller Baked Full Face Palette, Bio Ionic Curling Iron, Unite Hair Dry Texture Spray, Loop Quiet 2 Earplugs, and Look Optic Glasses.

• Click here for our official link list: https://linktr.ee/wtfjusthappenedpodcast

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

Send us Fan Mail

Face the tough questions about midlife divorce and explore whether it is time to stay or leave your marriage after 40. In this raw and honest episode of WTF Just Happened?, Hilary and Sada break down how to recognize emotional loneliness, navigate deep resentment, and spot the warning signs that a marriage is coming apart. They share critical insight on how to protect your finances, support your children, and find true clarity during a heavy marital crossroads.

In this conversation, we talk about:

• The core warning signs that differentiate a hard season from a marriage ending
• How to handle deep emotional loneliness and partner resentment after 40
• Critical steps for protecting your financial future before a major split
• Coping strategies for supporting your children through a parental transition
• Deciding whether your relationship can heal or if it's time to start over after divorce

Whether you choose to fight for your relationship or plan for your future independence, this episode gives you the confidence to make the absolute best choice for you.

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

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• The daily battle with magnifying mirrors, sudden facial hair, and midlife skin changes
• Why we secretly love a canceled plan and the bliss of staying home after 40
• Tracking our adult kids' locations on our phones 24/7
• Honest Botox confessions, anti-aging pressures, and cosmetic upkeep
• Navigating password fatigue, mental load, and midlife brain fog

Follow WTF Just Happened:
Instagram: @wtf.lifeismessy
Linktree: linktr.ee/wtfjusthappenedpodcast

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

Send us Fan Mail

Learn the secrets to building true midlife friendships and discover how to make friends after 40 when it feels like everyone already has their established circles. In this deeply relatable episode of WTF Just Happened?, Hilary and Sada unpack why finding adult friends feels incredibly difficult in your 40s and 50s. They tackle the hidden isolation that hits during midlife milestones and offer actionable advice to help you break through the loneliness.

In this conversation, we talk about:

• Why finding friends as an adult feels uniquely hard after 40
• Navigating midlife loneliness after a divorce or when experiencing empty nest syndrome
• Breaking out of your comfort zone to find your people and build a new village
• How our friendship needs, boundaries, and values shift as we age
• Relatable, practical ways to initiate plans without feeling awkward or desperate

If you've ever felt isolated in this chapter of life or wondered if you'll ever find your true community again, press play 🎧.

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/wtfjusthappenedpodcast

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

Send us Fan Mail

• Why losing a female friendship hurts just as deeply as a romantic divorce
• Coping with the unique grief, confusion, and loneliness of a friendship ending
• How to heal and move forward when you don't get answers or closure
• Identifying toxic friendships and setting firm midlife boundaries
• Learning to let go of outgrown relationships to make room for your next chapter

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.

Send us Fan Mail

Experience an honest conversation about midlife grief and widowhood as we explore why the second year of loss can feel even harder than the first. In this deeply personal episode of WTF Just Happened?, Sada shares the raw reality of life 18 months after the sudden loss of her husband, Kris. Hilary and Sada unpack the crushing loneliness of losing a spouse, explain why healing after loss is never linear, and discuss how to keep rebuilding your life when the world expects you to move on.

In this conversation, we talk about:

• The hidden reality of year two grief and why the shock wearing off hurts so deeply
• Sada's personal story of navigating life 18 months after losing her husband, Kris
• Dealing with the unique isolation of early widowhood in your 40s and 50s
• Why emotional healing isn't linear and how to handle sudden waves of sorrow
• Practical advice on how to keep moving forward when friends assume you are okay

If you have ever felt confused about why your pain still hurts this much long after a major loss, you are not alone.

🔗 Connect With Us

🎙 Podcast: @wtf.lifeismessy
💛 Hilary: @its.hilarybrophy
💛 Sada: @simplysadajames

💗 Enjoying the podcast?
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, leave us a 5-star rating or review wherever you listen, and share it with a friend. Your support helps more women discover WTF Just Happened? Thank you for being part of our community. 

If you’re moving through grief, a midlife shift, healing, or simply feeling stuck in the in-between, Sada offers RISE — an intimate 8-week mentorship experience designed to help women feel supported, understood, connected, and less alone. It’s a space for anyone craving real community, honest conversation, clarity, and a softer landing place through life’s harder seasons. 

We love you for being here. Subscribe, share, and stay messy with us. 💛

⚠️ Disclaimer

This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views shared are based on personal experience and do not constitute medical, legal, financial, or professional advice. Always consult a qualified professional regarding your individual situation. Guest opinions are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the hosts or this podcast. Any products mentioned are not sponsored unless explicitly stated.