XPK returns after a season away! Join hosts Wendi and Brandon for a fresh, faith-filled start to a new season rooted in Christ and full of encouragement.

Romans 8:34; Romans 8:15; John 17:23; Romans 5:20; Romans 2:4  All we can do is pray for the same grace that we need to be giving our kids, we need from the Lord constantly. There could be 100 episodes on parenting.  So as far as sticking with the topic of parenting adult children and the fact that it starts when they're kids, of course with that relationship. I know that none of us fall perfectly and balanced with just the right amount of love, just the right amount of grace, and just the right amount of truth.  We all tend to go to one extreme or the other. And that's just part of the personalities that God's given us.   Ultimately, we're all just grown up kids with our own issues, our own baggage, our own needs, our own hang ups and so we need help daily from the Lord.   But, also from the people around us and we're asking for that relationship with other people, so that they'll understand us, right? Well, that's what our kids need, a relationship so that we can understand them. That's what we never got, was the "why" about anything. It was the list. The do's, the don'ts, the if you're doing then you're good. If you're not doing then you're not good or vice versa with the don'ts, right? Yeah. So,  that's what our Christianity is all about. That's what our entire religion is based on, relationship. It is based on intimacy with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, experiencing the joy that they have in communion with each other as John 17:23 says. Brandon:  When you include your kids in your own journey, then they get to see the work that the Lord is doing in your own life because you share that you're struggling.   My kids know things that God has done in my life and my personal testimony of overcoming sexual addiction level one to pornography. They know how God has poured His grace out on me.  How I've been harsh and demeaning to my kids, but they've seen me grow into a more gentle, kinder, gracious person. Wendi:  Lowly and gentle.  Brandon:    I've repented for what I have been. And you know, asked forgiveness and they've been gracious and walked with me through this and they know I'm just a man. I'm not on a pedestal with that. Wendi:  That's right!   Exactly… not pretending to be anything other than what you are. And yeah, and that's just being real and Carson said, the transparency of you and Kim, he's grateful.  As a man now himself about to start his own marriage and family one day.  It's been modeled… the good, the bad, the ugly, and the recovery from all that so he can see this didn't look great and it was way better when dad did this. That's how we're going to do it. I mean, the beautiful thing is, in both of our cases, our kids are going to be so much more prepared then we were at the start of their journey. Wendi:  They will be normal. Yeah, that's what I'm going for. I was hoping my kids make it out of the house without a trauma. But I was really holding out for the grandkids to be normal, whatever that is, right. Brandon:  Well, you have amazing kids and they are having great marriages and great relationships with the Lord.  Wendi:  They've grown up together. I love we made a vow when we got married, that our kiddos were to get to know each other and to do life together. And we have seen each other at least every year, but if not two or three times a year. Brandon:  and I love that three out of your four got to come to the wedding. Poor Jax is into college baseball season-ridiculous drill sergeants’ craziness. Well, we have been going for almost an hour talking about parenting, for the most part, adult children, but parenting in general. And if you could let me know when you have it figured out that would be great. We're still trying to figure it out.

Matthew 11:29, Romans 5:8, Psalms 66:8, Revelation 19:13, John 14:6, 1 Timothy 4:10, Deuteronomy 31:8, Colossians 2:9,10, John 1:14, 1 Thessalonians 4:14, Ephesians 6:12, Job 1:1, Job 3:1, Romans 2:4, Genesis 19:26, 2 Samuel 6:5-7, Romans 2:5, Matthew 11:30, Mark 10:35-45, Numbers 20; Genesis 14;1 Timothy 5:17, Acts 15:1-3, Acts 14:23, 1 Timothy 3:1-9, Luke 22, Galatians 5:22, 2 Thessalonians 2:3, Matthew 12:36, Deuteronomy 31:8, John 6:37;    Gentle and Lowly by Dane Ortlund  https://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Lowly-Christ-Sinners-Sufferers/dp/1433566133/ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Piper https://www.amazon.com/Shack-Young-Paul-Market-Paperback/dp/B00YDJ162U/

I recently recommended a book to you Wendi called "Gentle and Lowly", that was recommended to me by a couple of different people, our brother being one of them. My wife did not recommend it to me, but she had the book sitting on her nightstand because it was recommended to her by her employer, Focus on the Family.  It's evidently the number one book in Christian counseling right now. Wendi:  I see why! Pretty good. Brandon:  So, when I saw the title, it was interesting because I thought the book was going to be about how to be gentle and lowly. As someone who struggles with being harsh and being too blunt and being not gentle, I probably need to read this book. Wendi:  That's why you recommended it to me?

Brandon:  That’s why I did recommend it, because I was recommending it to myself for the same reason. All right. We are not the most gentle and lowly people that we know of, but what's so cool is that the book is about the gentleness and the lowliness of the heart of Christ. It's the heart and I should have looked at the subtitle, the heart of Christ toward sinners and sufferers. But what's amazing is you know, I don't know how many chapters there are, but I'm on chapter seven.  I'm doing the audio version, because I have ADD.  It doesn't take long listening as I drive a lot with my work.  It's great to realize that who Jesus is and his heart for sinners and sufferers creates like heartedness as you draw near to him.  It's like I feel myself becoming more gentle and more lowly as I learn about the gentleness and lowliness of Jesus. The one who deserves all praise. The one who is going to come back with the sword in his mouth, robe dipped in blood and defeat all of his enemies. He said of himself as we have been reading and listening to this book, I am gentle and lowly of heart. And he does go on and clarifies. Okay, I'm not talking about how Jesus is with everyone all the time.  He said that this book is about those who are suffering and dealing with their own sin, who choose to come to Jesus.  Wendi:  It's those who acknowledge that he is the answer to those things that we struggle with, whether it be sin that we get ourselves into a situation or suffering through innocence, through things outside of our control.

Brandon:  So that if we're suffering for any reason, we're suffering the consequences of our own sin, but sinfulness or suffering in any way. 

Wendi:   Those that choose to come to Him for their comfort and their hope, those are the ones that he then handles with gentleness and lowliness. In those same situations, don't acknowledge that he is the only answer, which is, I think part of he is "The Way",  the only way, the only answer. The Father has got you. It's not up to you. It's the Father that has a hold of you and won’t let go.

​ @xpkpodcast  www.xpkpodcast.com 1 Chronicles 16:22; Matthew 21:12; John 14:6; Proverbs 24:11-12; Psalms 37:20; John 3:7; Romans 8:6; Genesis 1:27; Psalms 148:5; 1 John 5:16; 1 Corinthians 5:11; Isaiah 28:29; Luke 19; Matthew 19:26; Proverbs 16:9; Acts 12:6-19; 2 Kings 18     https://youtu.be/keeghU4oTsM      Southern Baptist-First Baptist Woodstock and Ex-Pastor Johnny M. Hunt. So, we were just talking before we turned on the recording about just the endless amount of craziness coming out constantly about every hour on the hour, you can set your watch by it. We should be getting another report here in the next 30 minutes of another pastor doing something stupid, saying something stupid. We have no choice but to continue on with that line of questioning. Lots of questions.

You can't even express an opinion that is different from someone else's if you're in the public eye, and you happen to be on the wrong side of something. You're just cancelled, right? But yet, even some of those people were doing really, really good things for other people. So set that aside. Then, let's look at the people who claim to have been called by the Lord.  They hear from the Lord. They walk with the Lord. They study the Word of the Lord. They speak to us on behalf of the Lord. And you have these people that are in John Lowe's case, literally stood in the pulpit and admitted to molesting the 16 year old teenage girl and taking her virginity on his office floor. To actually come out and say absolutely did. I know he tried to act like it was adultery and consensual and this and that. But then obviously, the lady said no, I was 16. And you took advantage of me on your office floor.  Brandon: Did he actually come out and say he absolutely did? I know he tried to act like it was adultery and consensual and this and that. But then obviously, the lady said no, I was 16. And you took advantage of me on your office floor. Did he actually come back and say, Yes, that's true? Wendi:  Yes. At the very end of the video, in fact, if you listen, you hear some of the congregants saying, is that true?  If you did it, admit it. Yeah. And he then replied, What she said is true. And then he said, not all of it.

Brandon:  I don't know all the backstory. But you know, with a guy like this, at least from what I can see,  you can't judge too deeply. You can only judge what you see. Right? Right. And what I see is that there was something going on that forced him to come clean. That forced him to admit to something.

Wendi:  MinistryWatch.com has an article out on this right now. And it goes into a little bit more explanation about the brother.  In a nutshell, she had just been trying to squash it in her memory and she'd been dealing with it.   She hadn't told her husband or anything. But her brother approached her recently and said that something had been haunting him that he wanted to talk to her about and she's like, Okay, well, what is it?  He explained to her that he saw with his own eyes, his pastor and his sister in bed together when she was a teenager, and all she had on was, I believe what they quoted was a t shirt and panties and he just can't get the image out of his head.

Brandon:   I'm sure we will hear more as updates come in but let's be praying for these churches. You know, after listening to “The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill”, the last episode you know aftermath hits home with things we experienced at our old church that Dad pastored and all the dead bodies left behind. You know when these pastors fall, it leaves a mass of casualties.

https://jesusimagechurchtv Pastor Michael Koulianos located at Jesus Image Church in Orlando, Florida https://fb.watch/eRag6Yh_vo/ 1 Corinthians 3:2; Ezekiel 36:26; John 3:3; Matthew 7:23; Philippians 2:12; 1 Corinthians 12:4-11; Romans 12:3; John 10:27; Romans 8:16; Matthew 4; Matthew 7; Romans 3:23; Hebrews 11:6; John 15:16; Luke 15:4-32; Ephesians 1:4; John 6:39; Matthew 18:12 Timothy Ateek at Watermark Ministries 12/4/2021 https://youtu.be/K7xy6rPmfEg

Wendi: Because as you have preached to me and many people have so many times about just the performance and the mentality that we grew up with and just always feeling like you have to do certain things and I always say it's not to earn God's love. I know God loves me, but it is because he loves me that I want to do so good, right? Like I want to do well for him, but then that bleeds over into because I don't want him to be mad at me. I put all that together because I knew if I stepped out of balance as a child, that was not okay. I was not approved, and it was not approved because we grew up in a performance-based household. It's hard for me to separate the two. So, this video that I want to talk to you about today, it hit me like right between the eyes. I had never heard of this guy, just know his name was Pastor Michael. I don't know anything about this church, but this video has been viewed 1000s and 1000s of times on Facebook. It's probably on YouTube as well but, I saw it on Facebook. We're going put the link in the notes. It's 12 minutes long. The message is eight minutes long. But then he says a prayer for His church. One person that shared it out of 1000s. That person specifically posted something saying every single minute of this video is worth watching and every word is Holy Spirit breathed. That's what got my attention. You can tell from the start. Something different about this video and this pastor and whatever he's about to say I want to listen. I want to hear. Just the very first breath was so humble in what he was saying. I didn't know this guy from Adam, but then I just started looking into his church. Brandon: If I'm working, not in faith, I'm sinning. It doesn't matter what the rest is for or why I'm resting or whatever. It doesn't matter what the work is for what I'm doing, why I'm working, how I'm working, If is not in faith, it is sin. And it also means I'm doing it for some other reason other than God's glory if it's not in faith. So, we've got to get past the idea that, and I think that's the whole point of this is that there's all this work going on in the church, all of these church leaders that are doing all these amazing things, and results are happening. That's what you hear over and over in the rise and fall of Mars Hill. Everybody kept saying, look at the growth. It went from 1000 to 3000 to 5000 to 7000 to 15,000 people and all looks like God's blessing. God's hand is on this. We have to be doing it right because of all the growth and how many people are getting saved and baptized in the years. God used Judas to accomplish his purposes. The question is not Am I being used by God for people to be saved, for people to come to know Him, for people to learn about him? God used a donkey, God used Judas, God uses a bush with fire in it. He can use anything he wants. The question is, are you being used like Judas or are you being used like John, or like Paul? You personally pastor, church leader, call yourself Christian are going to stand before the Lord and not hear how many people came to know me through you. If it's at least a certain number or quota per day, then you're good? No, it's going to be were you building your kingdom or were you building my kingdom? Are you doing this for your glory? Are you doing this for my glory? Have you been truly born again? When you're born again, you don't.

Genesis 3:4, Romans 8:13,14; Mark 9:47; Matthew 7:21-23; Philippians 2:12,13 Brandon:  I want to talk about something that is going around everywhere right now. I can't turn anything on in the Christian world without hearing about this, and this is failing pastors. Wendi:  Oh my goodness every day. Who was it today, Lord, right? Unfortunately for me, the pastor thing, it makes me want to vomit.  It makes me so sad and I guess maybe because we are the product of something like that. And I just know the fallout, people devastated.  People get that headline and people you know tune in while it's the hot topic, but what they don't see is 20, 30, 40 years later, and the devastation that is still there for that family and for all the parties. And that's  what I immediately think of every single time I see another headline like that.  Brandon:  Obviously, we know sometimes even the perpetrator or the pastor that fell from the ministry, just goes on with their life and never deals with the ramifications. Not that they don't have consequences of some sort, but they never try to make things right. They never do anything to bring healing to anybody that is left holding the bag.  Obviously, this is personal to us with a dad who fell from the Ministry for lots of different reasons and uncles that fell from the ministry. Wendi:  Also, all the people that we grew up idolizing, because dad would say, you know, these heroes of the faith, the men of God; your Jack Hyles, your Bob Gray's and all of the people who have the exact same story and have done the exact same stuff. I mean, they are cut from the exact same cloth, went to the exact same preacher boy seminary. I'm not sure what they are teaching in there, but it clearly is not just in our little denominational cult.  Brandon:  When you say our little denominational cult, I'm assuming you're talking about Independent Fundamental Baptists?  So I do just want to clarify that there are good Independent Fundamental Baptist preachers and churches and people. Wendi:   Absolutely. Yeah. Brandon:   We grew up in that and saw the cult side of it, right. So I just want to make sure if there's any Independent Fundamental Baptist people watching, we're not saying everyone in the IFB world is a cult or cult leader or in a cult. Wendi:  And I honestly don't think that dad started out with that agenda. I think he thought he was called by the Lord and he had very good intentions and that's what he wanted. He wanted to help people.  I really do think it was in his heart, but as you and I have spoken many times, I think the teaching that is perpetrated among that group of leaders is so much more focused on performance and what is on the outside, that you have to make people think that you are this personification of almost perfection. 

Proverbs 22:6;  Hebrews 10:25: Ephesians 5: Hebrews 11:17-19; Genesis 17:19; Hebrews 13:8;  Leviticus 20:13; 2 Thessalonians 2:10; 2 Timothy 2:15; Exodus 3:2; Numbers 22:6- 24:14          Wendi:  Welcome everybody to the XPK podcast. XPK, means former preacher’s kids. Yeah, my favorite preacher's kid is with me today, my brother, Brandon, and I’m Wendi. Brandon:  I'll be with you every day.  Wendi:  Yeah, exactly. And I'm very excited about that and very excited to have the audience with us too. Brandon:    What are we talking about? Because we named this x p k, when there could have been a lot of different names we could have used, but we wanted to relate it specifically to being from the church, being former children of a pastor, a preacher. Yeah. What's that all about?  Wendi:  Well, I think especially in light of everything going on today. I know you and I have had many conversations about how it's just a miracle due to everything that we've been through.  The fact that we even have the Lord as part of our lives, not just part of our lives, but the foundation and the center of our life, it's just a true miracle.  It just points to his grace in our life.  I actually was scared of my dad and believed that I would go straight to hell if I did anything stupid. So, you know, for me, I didn't do that whole sneaking out of the house and all the stupid stuff.

Brandon:   Yeah, I waited to do all that until I got to college. Well, I mean, I didn't sneak out of the house in college, but all the stupid stuff that I wasn't allowed to do didn't happen until I got to college. So unfortunately, which can be one of our podcast episodes about the importance of being versus doing.  Being the man of God or the woman of God versus trying to do what you think a man of God or a woman of God would do, right? Which is why there's grace. Which we need to talk a lot about on this podcast. There's a lot of people out there with podcasts. And a lot of people have a lot to say about a lot of things. So in thinking about what is going to make us different than everybody else, I know we've talked about really being the voice of encouragement and a voice of hope and a voice of... I don't want to be like, positive thinking, a voice of positive thinking. But really talking about the fact that the world is going to hell in a handbasket, but God is on the throne.  God is in control and look at what we've endured, and been through with the people in spiritual authority over our lives, leading us down the wrong paths for so many years. But yet God continued to pursue us, continued to reveal himself to us, and continues to draw us to himself. Just showing himself faithful, so faithful. It doesn't matter what you're going through. It doesn't matter what's happening in the world. Of course, we should care. I'm not talking about not caring. I'm talking about not worrying.

Wendi:  I have a much harder time trusting and especially trusting pastors, because of my experience and maybe I'm the target of Dad's double life and everything that that entailed, but you know, becoming a mom, it's been my life's mission to make sure my children don't ever have to deal with any of that. And so you know, for the first several years of parenting, it seemed relatively like a formula. You know, the Bible says “to train up a child in the way he should go and then when they're old, they will depart from it." And then it seems like recently there has been such an upheaval in the church and it's clear that my experience, certainly has not been an exclusive one.