In this episode we look at the ways we might be betraying ourselves by not exploring certain parts of our personality or by not giving ourselves the space to experiment and try on new ways of being.

We talk about the very real and human need to belong and how sometimes in order to belong to a community, we feel like we need to set aside or deny a part of ourselves. When are we choosing to make a compromise for the sake of something greater and when are we betraying ourselves? When are we putting restrictive labels on ourselves that stop us from growing and changing?

We discuss the opposite of self-betrayal, which is self-leadership and the courage to trust yourself and know that you are the leader of your own life and you get to decide how you want to live.

This episode wraps up our 3-part series on exploring your identity. We hope you’ve enjoyed it. We can’t wait to bring you more episodes on all things self-love and self-compassion.

In this week’s episode we dive deep into Lindsay’s personal journey over the past year and the biggest shift she’s experienced in her identity. This is such a vulnerable episode and we’re so grateful to the courage Lindsay showed in sharing her story.

We explore the way that Lindsay’s relationship to faith has completely changed and how she’s moved away from some of the core beliefs she’s held throughout her life. We talk about how it can feel scary and uncomfortable to question your beliefs and core parts of your identity and the way that building a deep sense of self-trust, self-acceptance and self-love can help you through those moments.

We discuss how there are aspects of ourselves that we sometimes hide or deny in order to belong to a group and how that can be problematic. We often compromise parts of ourselves, our values or our beliefs because we fear the rejection of others. But if we can find the courage to love ourselves and belong to ourselves, we can feel ok and safe in the face of rejection and there is true liberation in that.

As much as we often want things to be black and white or right and wrong, because we crave certainty and answers, the reality is that life is truly complex and we need to become comfortable with living in the grey and dancing in the questions.

Resources Mentioned:

Reverend Angel Kyodo Williams - https://angelkyodowilliams.com/

Dare To Lead Podcast - Brené with Adam Grant on the Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know

The Enneagram - https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-descriptions

In part 1 of this short series of episodes about identity we reflect on a few different questions to start exploring how you may have changed since the pandemic began.

Take a moment and have a think about these questions...

Do you feel you’ve changed over the past 15 months?

Have you noticed certain expectations have been lowered during this time?

If so, how has the lowering of these expectations allowed you to shift your identity?

What aspects of your identity have you lost or haven’t been able to express lately?

What has become more important to you? Have you honed in on your values?

What part of your identity have you dropped? Or what do you want to let go of?

We get personal in this episode (don’t we always?) and explore our own answers to these questions. Lindsay and Koes talk about the positive experience of living more intentionally during the pandemic and noticing the relationships that have become really important to them. Sam opens up about her own struggles with depression during this time and how self-compassion is really helping her through it.

We discuss how mental health struggles are a very appropriate response to an incredibly difficult time and how it really is ok not to be ok. And of course, if you’re experiencing mental health challenges then we really encourage you to not only double down on the tools of self-compassion that we’re always preaching about, but also reach out for professional support. You’re not alone in this.

Resources Mentioned:

The imperfects podcast - The Academy of Imperfection with Ben Crowe

We’ve decided to change things up a little on our podcast over the next few weeks. Today’s episode is an introduction to themes we’re going to explore over the coming episodes. Questions of identity.

As anyone who’s been through a transition knows, big changes often lead to changes in our identity and make us reflect on who we are and who we want to be. For the first time in most of our lifetimes, the whole world has been through a transition together and you may be wondering - what now? Who have you become? Who do you want to be? What do you want to let go of? What have you learned about yourself that you want to incorporate into a post-pandemic life? What’s really important to you?

All of these questions (and more) will be explored in the next few episodes. We can’t wait to share these episodes and navigate these changes together.

And if you have questions or stories about transition, change and identity, then please share them with us by sending us a DM @youareinfinitelyloved. We’d love to hear from you and incorporate your ideas into our episodes.

This week’s episode is all about procrastination. That annoying habit so many of us are familiar with where we put things off that we know we have to do and then beat ourselves up for procrastinating.

We talk about the work of Adam Grant and a new way of looking at procrastination that focuses on the emotional side of things. Because when you really think about it, you’re not avoiding particular tasks for no reason, you’re avoiding the negative emotion that you associate with completing that task. If you can uncover what that particular emotion is, then you can find ways to work with it and move forwards.

We discuss the shame associated with procrastination because of the huge value that society places on productivity and why that can be problematic.

We also talk about the difference between precrastinators and procrastinators and the benefits and downfalls of both. You read that right, there are actually some benefits to procrastination!

Finally, we talk about why this has become even more of an issue during the pandemic and why it’s perfectly ok if you find yourself procrastinating more than usual at the moment. We get it!

Resources Mentioned:

Procrastinate Much? Manage Your Emotions, Not Your Time - Adam Grant

Why I Taught Myself To Procrastinate - Adam Grant

Better Than Before - Gretchen Rubin

Can you believe it’s been a year of this? A year has passed since covid came along and shook up everything about our lives. In today’s episode we reflect on how we’re feeling a year later and the importance of re-setting our expectations during this time.

We talk about the resilience of humans, the very real struggles that people are facing, how to recognise if you’re experiencing depression or anxiety and the importance of asking for help.

And of course, it wouldn’t be our podcast if we didn’t also talk about how you can take care of yourself and be self-compassionate at a time like this - in fact, at any time!

We’d love you to reflect after you listen...How are you feeling 12 months on?

Resources Mentioned:

Lost Connections by Johann Hari 

Our episode today is all about energy. It goes without saying that a lot of people have been feeling very drained and tired over the past 12 months and struggling to know how to feel more energised and motivated. We totally get it. Which is why we wanted to talk about it more in this episode.

Sam goes through a more holistic approach to energy and talks about the four different sources of energy based on the work of Tony Schwartz. We talk about your physical energy, mental energy, emotional energy and spiritual energy and simple ways that you might be able to boost each of these areas.

If you enjoy this episode and you want to learn more about energy and strategies you can personalise to get the most out of your day, then check out Sam’s masterclass - Energised.

Resources Mentioned:

Energised Masterclass by Sam (SparKd) - www.sparkdcommunity.com/energised-masterclass

The Energy Project by Tony Schwartz

In this week’s episode of the podcast we’re talking about feedback. How to give feedback effectively, how to receive feedback well and how to love yourself through the whole process. Koes takes us through Kim Scott’s Radical Candor framework and how that’s helped him and his team have honest and helpful conversations.

Lindsay talks about how we can use this approach in a self-loving way to give ourselves honest and helpful feedback, rather than berate ourselves with self-criticism. Sam takes us through Tara Mohr’s work on how to unhook from praise and criticism and evaluate what feedback is appropriate to take on board and how to do that.

We discuss the idea that when negative feedback sticks to us and really hurts, it’s usually because it’s mirroring a belief that we already hold about ourselves. It’s helpful to recognise these beliefs and to start to unpack them with humility and curiosity. We are all doing the best that we can AND, we can learn to do better.

We also talk about the ultimate tool for improving the relationship you have with yourself and give you practical ways you can cultivate it in your life.

Resources Mentioned:

Radical Candor by Kim Scott

Playing Big by Tara Mohr

Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff

www.self-compassion.org - Website with great free resources by Kristen Neff

After an 8-month break, we’re excited to be back with a new episode of the podcast. In this week’s episode we look at a concept called self-attunement and how we can tune in to ourselves, to the people we are today and who we want to become, and make those changes and adjustments so that we’re living in alignment with our new values and priorities.

We talk about the problems of making assumptions about ourselves and others, and how those assumptions keep us rigid and stuck. We explore how we can give ourselves room to grow, to change and to evolve. It’s a discussion about the fluidity of identity, values, interests and priorities and how we can embrace this with excitement and curiosity.

How can you have a beginner’s mindset when it comes to yourself? How can you give yourself permission to experiment more? Permission to change your mind? Permission to have new values and new priorities?

We also talk about what each of us have learnt over the past 12 months and how we’re incorporating this new information about ourselves into our lives today. We hope you enjoy this discussion and we can’t wait to bring you more episodes.

Resources Mentioned:

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig 

For all the parents out there who are finding lockdown challenging, this week’s episode is for you. Sam talks to Lindsay and Koes about their personal experience and how they’ve had to adjust their parenting and give themselves more grace during this unprecedented time.

Lindsay talks about the fact that the current situation is a recipe for a mental health crisis, and encourages any parent to drop the expectation of being a model parent during this time. When you think about it, unrealistic expectations of yourself aren’t healthy or helpful, so it’s time to release them and lower the bar.

We also discuss how to help kids talk about their feelings and anxiety, and the ways that you can show up for them and listen to what’s on their minds and in their hearts.

This is such a hard time, so whatever you’re feeling is totally normal, and we want to encourage you to give yourself a ton of kindness and grace. We’re all doing well at times and we’re all doing poorly, and it makes sense to be all over the place. It’s simply a reflection of the world at the moment. So it’s time to practice those self-compassion skills and build that muscle. When you judge yourself less, you open up more space for connection, and that’s what we all need now, more than ever.