You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

Edward Franklin is the Executive Director of Voice of Hope Ministries in West Dallas. Voice of Hope Ministries exists to extend the love of Jesus Christ by nurturing and training children through Biblical teaching, Christian character models, life skills coaching and educational support.

• Visit their website at voiceofhope.org
• Follow them on Facebook
• Instagram

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

Behind Every Door seeks to transform poverty from the inside out through on-site programming and resource partnerships in underserved apartment communities.

• Visit their website at behindeverydoor.org
• Follow Behind Every Door on FB
• Follow on Instagram

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

• Lighthouse Transitional Care
  • Visit their website at lighthouselatvia.org
  • Follow Lighthouse on FB
  • Follow on Instagram

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

• waylandcubit.com
• FACT Mentoring
• 10-8
• United Voice Oklahoma

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

Mike Gibbons, Directional Pastor at MacArthur Blvd Baptist Church

• Visit their website at https://www.macarthurblvd.org/
• Contact Mike at [email protected]

Caroline Gibbons, Literacy Coordinator at Forerunner Mentoring

• Visit their website at https://forerunnermentoring.com
• Contact Caroline at [email protected]

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

LINKS

• Involving Parents in Mentoring Programs (US Dept. of Education, 2005)

SIMPLE WAYS TO SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS

• Compliment her and telling her she’s doing a good job
• Hearing her story
• Calling her and keeping her in the loop about her child
• Inviting her and her family into your home
• Remembering important things about her (Job, interests, kids names, birthday, etc)
• Thinking positively about her and not complaining about her
• Talking positively about her when her son says bad things about her
• Communicating with and encouraging her to participate in our Forerunner events
• Praying for them
• Helping her in times of need in appropriate ways (Meal train, rides, connections, etc)

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

Kilton McCracken Sr. | [email protected]
Director of Mentoring at Gospel Village (The Mentoring Alliance in Tyler, TX)

Live in Tyler, TX? Apply to become a mentor at gospelvillage.com 

Four Step Gospel-sharing Method

1. God. God is the creator of all things (Gen. 1:1). He is perfectly holy, worthy of all worship, and will punish sin (1 John 1:5, Rev. 4:11, Rom. 2:5-8). Everything that is wrong, he will put to rights.
2. Man.  All people, though created good, have become sinful by nature (Gen. 1:26-28, Ps. 51:5, Rom. 3:23, Eph. 2:1-3). We are far from God, hostile to God, and deserving of judgment.
3. Christ. Jesus Christ, who is fully God and fully man, lived a sinless life, died on the cross to bear God’s judgment in the place of all who would believe in him, and rose from the grave in order to give his people eternal life (John 1:1, 1 Tim. 2:5, Heb. 7:26, Rom. 3:21-26, 2 Cor. 5:21, 1 Cor. 15:20-22).
4. Response. God calls everyone everywhere to repent of their sins and trust in Christ in order to be saved (Mark 1:15, Acts 20:21, Rom. 10:9-10). For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

Gospel-sharing Practicals

• The longer you wait in a relationship, the harder it becomes to share the gospel
• If you share the gospel early, you can center the relationship around it easily
• Use every day examples: receiving a bad grade & missing the mark (sin), etc.
• The greatest thing you bring into your mentor relationship is your relationship with Jesus Christ
• View your mentoring relationship through the lens of Christian discipleship.
• "We want our mentees to become productive Christians."
• Learn your mentee's culture and contextualize the gospel for them where they live.
  • When Paul preached to Greeks he talked about greek philosophy and the stars, intellectually-minded
  • When Paul preached to the Hebrews he spoke about Abraham and the OT fathers, historical OT oriented
• Try to find something that your mentee is interested in, and relate it to the Gospel
• Use language your mentee is comfortable with. Jesus used parables to communicate.
• Brainstorm/Plan out a personal illustration (use sports, food, fortnite, etc.)
• Connect your illustration to God as judge, our sin nature, or the love of Jesus on the cross
  • Show them simply how sin is connected to their experiences
• The Gospel is GOOD NEWS. Proclaim God's victory over your mentee's life
• Recognize the privilege you have in sharing the good news with your mentee

Bible Devotions with Kids

• The Bible is a story. Connect everything to the bigger story (JESUS).
• Our job is to share it. Pass the ball to God.
• God is the master of taking what we give and using it for his purposes.
• Don't put too much emphasis on how well you share it.
• Story of Noah and the Flood. "Every time you see rain, God's making a promise to you with the rainbow."
• Help them live what they read. 
• Don't bog yourself down in trying to articulate every detail.
• Share it (read) and show it (help them recognize the story in lived experiences).

Gospel-sharing Questions

• What do you think this means?
• What does it say about God?
• What does it say about Us?
• Can you share the story we just read?

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

• The mysterious workings of the adolescent brain | TED Talk by Sarah-Jayne Blakemore: 
• ZJ
• Goldfish
• Karyn Purvis
• Trust Based Relational Intervention (TBRI)
• Dr. Daniel Siegel

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HOW TO EARN YOUR MENTEE'S ATTENTION

1. Earn their attention by giving them yours.

• Youth mentoring is counter-cultural. You choose to earn your mentees attention, rather than them earning yours.
• When you think of Jesus becoming a man, do you see it as God seeking to get our attention, or do you see it as Him giving us His?
• The God of the Bible gives us His attention. He seeks us out. He listens.
• He is our example.

2. Earn their attention by finding out what brings them joy.

• What do they like and how can you connect with them in it? When we feel connected to another person, we're more open to their influence, so you're making it easy for them to listen and interact with you on their level.
• Get curious. What is going on in the brain of this child I’m mentoring? What questions do they have? What makes them wonder? 
• Teachers know this already: when kids are curious, they're much more likely to stay engaged.

3. Earn their attention by commanding it, not demanding it.

• Jesus never demanded attention. His life commanded it. There’s a difference between someone walking in the room and saying, “Hey! Learn from me! I’m awesome!” and another person in the room that lives in such a way that draws the attention of others and creates this curiosity.
• Just because you say, “Hey, listen to me.” Doesn’t mean they are going to listen.
• There is nothing more comforting to a child than a mentor who listens and understands.

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MORE PRACTICALS

Ask Good Questions

• You may be the first non-family member that has taken the time to push through all the distractions, ask them good questions, and fight for their attention. And by the way, good questions aren’t easy to answer. So if you’re asking good questions, their inability to respond quickly isn’t because their wheels aren’t turning, it might be because they’ve never even turned.  Good questions cultivate our minds. There’s a study I read the other day that says When your brain is thinking about the answer to a question, it can’t contemplate anything else. So when we ask our mentees good questions we are helping their brains to grow in focus. If a child doesn’t respond to you when you talk it’s because their attention is elsewhere and they haven’t learned that questions show you care.
• Behavioral scientists have also found that just asking people about their future decisions significantly influences those decisions. When we ask good questions to kids from hard places, we’re planting seeds. 
• Believe the best

Tips to help kids listen

• Connect before you speak. Eye contact.
• One step at a time. Use less words and less complex words.
• Don’t say don't. Whatever you put after ‘Don’t’ puts a picture in their head of what you just told them not to do.
• Be more assertive and less optional.
• Giving direction for what you want them to do is not a bad thing. It’s actually safe.
• Make every effort to stop what you are doing to listen to them.

Adrian McConnell of Youth Revive shares from his wealth of experience mentoring High School students in South Dallas.

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

• Youth Revive Inc.
  
  
• Dallas Leadership Foundation
  
  
• Pathway Church of Life
  
  
• Roosevelt High School (map)
  
  

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

Mentors help their mentees steer clear of actions or situations that would hurt them and hurt others.  Whether you’re helping your mentee mature into adulthood, teaching them an age appropriate skill, or confronting a destructive behavior, here are some of the things we have found helpful for mentors to consider. 

1. Earn the Right to Be Heard

• Don’t assume your mentee knows why you care for him
• Speed of Trust by Covey
• A kid doesn’t care what you know until he knows that you care
• Trust depends on your actions and their past
• Hard conversations require trust
• Give trust to build trust

2. Pick Your Battles

• Don’t rebuke every small thing
• Focus on what they’re doing right more than what they’re doing wrong
• Be wise and patient with them as they grow
• Is this a life or death issue?
• Are their actions ordinary for kids their age?

3. Prepare Wisely

• Pray before you engage in a difficult conversation
• Check yourself and your intentions
• Choose timing and environments wisely
  • Share feedback toward the end of a meeting rather than the beginning
  • In a quiet place where they can focus on what you’re telling them

4. Asking Permission

• Instead of just blurting out what they are doing wrong, you can saying something like this:
  • “You know I love you and want the best for you, right?”
  • “Well, I’ve noticed some things that might keep you from being the best version of you. Do you mind if I share those with you?”
• If they say yes, proceed with your feedback. If their answer is no, let it go
• Establish that sharing feedback is not the central part of the mentor relationship

5. Rebuke Thy Neighbor Like Thy self

• Put yourself in your mentee’s shoes
• Asking questions and getting them to think about the “why” behind their actions typically works better
• Ask questions instead of talking “at” or lecturing your mentee
• Share personal stories and examples to help them see the bigger picture
• Be careful with your tone
  • If the child thinks you are judgemental, harsh, or angry, the possibility of them shutting down or getting angry are high
  • We want the child to know that we are for them and that we believe the best about them
• Care more about their heart than their actions
• Grace oriented

6. Call them up, not out

• Call out their giftings and their potential
• Speak life over them
• Encourage them to do better and let them know that you are there for them in case things don’t go as planned
• Call them up to all that they can be instead of calling them out for what they have done wrong

7. You Can Lead a Horse to Water but You Can’t Make Him Drink

• We have to be ok with the fact that we have done all that the Lord has called us to do
• We invest, and God transforms
• God the Father is patient and gentle with us
• We must remember that we are dealing with children
• Love them no matter what