You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast

Episode 11

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WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

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SHOW NOTES

Tre' Crume worked with Forerunner Mentoring for three years leading our Elementary School program. He attends Dallas Theological Seminary and played on the USA Football Team.

• Jonesboro, Arkansas (map)
• A History of Shaquille O'Neals Shoes
• Lion King
• Types and Signs of Abuse in the Home
• Helping a parent in an abusive relationship
• Fight, Flight, or Freeze
• Andy Neil | Temple Baptist Jonesboro
• Anger-Management
• Helping Children Cope with Trauma
• An Ode to Single Moms (Huff Post)
• Lil Bow Wow (Youtube)
• The N-Word Project (Washington Post)
• Why White Churches are Hard for Black People (9Marks)
• The Church Met Needs (The Gospel Project)
• Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Mentoring Impacts More Than Graduation Rates

Episode: 10

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

All mentors begin mentoring with a heart to make a positive difference in the life of a child. So often, we, as mentors, have in our mind what a successful mentoring relationship looks like. 

Some times, success looks like:

• Academic achievements
• Dressing nicer
• Athletic success
• No sex, drugs or alcohol
• Better behavior
• No cussing
• Going to church
• Kindness, saying “yes ma'am” or “yes sir”, or handshake and making eye contact

Don’t get me wrong, these are all good things that will probably help set your child up for success in today’s world. But we cannot focus on these things. When we focus on outcomes, the enemy can make the child you are mentoring feel like a project and not a person.

When we have expectations that don’t get met, frustration can set in. When that negativity enters into a relationship, the enemy can use it to lie to you and wreck havoc on how you perceive your mentoring relationship.

Here are five keys to keep your heart in the right place while mentoring.

1. Don’t focus on outcomes.

• Focusing on outcomes leads you to see your mentee as a project
• Focus on being present more than you focus on their future.

2. People aren’t projects, they’re people.

• People don't progress like projects. We are never out of process. None are done.
• Relationships are warm and understanding. Projects are cold and calculating.

3. No formula for mentoring. Every relationship is different. 

• "Spend time with a kid + Teaching him wise ways = Life Transformation." Sounds great, but it's not true
• Mentors are called to recognize the needs of the children they serve and be sensitive to God's leadership as the relationship grows

4. Love is not performance based. 

• Our love comes with no strings attached. We love because he first loved us. We love no matter what.

5. Hope vs. Expectation

• Hope believes. Expectations assume.
• The kids we mentor should not have to carry the weight of our expectations
• Our hope in them and for them should carry their burdens, not be their burden.

Episode: 9

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

Derrich Phillips is the Founder and Chief Mentor at Mentor Select, a great resource for mentorship and career guidance. Derrich shares personal stories of overcoming adversity, and highlights the power of building mentor relationships with kids from hard places. Derrich recently released a book titled Poverty Powerball to help people overcome a poverty mindset.

Mentor Select: Website | Instagram | Email
Gary, Indiana
Poverty Powerball (Amazon)

Episode: 8

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

1. Trust the Lord.

• In mentoring, we are actively making a commitment to relationship. Commitments come with conflict.
• Pray for your mentee. It will soften your heart. It will stir up faith and belief for the relationship. You will begin to see what God sees in them.
• God loves when we face tension head on and learn to trust Him in it. When you face a trial in your mentoring relationship, don’t let it discourage or deter you from moving forward.
• Difficulty is not failure. Facing difficulty in the relationship is not a clear cut sign that the mentor relationship is failing. It may actually be a sign that it’s working.

2. Mentoring is a Marathon.

• We’re in it for the long haul. Sometimes what you say today won’t actually register until years down the road.
• Tackle today's issues, not tomorrows problems.
• In a marathon, some miles are a lot tougher than others. You’ll have seasons where it’s uphill. Seasons where it’s downhill. Find your rhythm, and stick with it when it gets tough.
• Don’t expect them to change overnight.
• Don’t compare yourself to other mentor relationships.

3. Celebrate every improvement.

• Ask yourself, “What’s the trajectory?” If you move an inch every week for a decade, you might look up and be rather impressed with the amount of ground you’ve covered.
• You will gain so much more ground if you tell a kid what he is doing right instead of what he is doing wrong. Focus on the positive. If he is doing one thing right and ten things wrong, focus on the good. The rest can wait.
• Celebrate the wins. Focus on the good. Be your mentees biggest fan.
• When you encourage someone, you show your committedness to their growth. You are interested in their flourishing. If you can’t find something to encourage, it’s more about your committedness to them than their lack of performance.
• No kid has been celebrated too much.
• Something is encouraging them, and that encouragement is influencing their identity. 
• In a world that assumes the worst, we are going to believe the best and call it out.

Episode: 7

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

• Daniel De Jesús - Instagram | Email
• Forerunner Mentoring
• Our Website: You Can Mentor
• Bent Tree
• Orange
• Chicago, IL (map)
• 2nd generation Hispanic (Puerto Rican and Mexican)
• Southern Hospitality
• The Effects of Divorce on the Family
• The Effects of Alcoholism on the Family
• Bullying in school and in the neighborhood
• Being sensitive in a rough and tumble world
• Latch Key Kids
• Child abuse is more common than many think
• Suicide Prevention Hotline
• Addiction
• Freshmen Year JNCOs
• What our search for belonging reveals
• Dual Income Families
• Cutting and Self-Harm Behaviors
• People will always remember how you made them feel
• The Strength of Gentleness

Episode: 6

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

Phrases to say to your mentee often:

• “I really like being around you.”
• “Thanks for letting me hang out with you.”
• “I’ve been looking forward to seeing you.”
• “You matter to me.”
• “You’re important.”

Praying for your mentee:

• Doesn’t have to be anything fancy.
• Thank Jesus for your relationship.
• Thank Jesus for loving us no matter what.
• Thank Jesus for always being there for us.

Remember to:

• Pray before you meet up with them. Ask the Lord to bless your time!
• Focus on the positive. Build them up!
• Come to connect, not correct.
• Ask open ended questions

Questions to ask:

• What made you smile today?
• What was the funniest thing that happened today?
• On a scale from 1-5, how would you rate today?
• What is something you learned today?
• What are you looking forward to?Keep the conversation going by asking:
  • Tell me more about that?
  • Ask 'Why' questions
    • Why did that make you laugh?
    • Why did that make you smile?
• That’s happened to me, let me tell you about it...
• Ask about family members.
• Ask about their weekend.
• Ask about their friends.

Episode: 5

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

Travis Bearden on Linkedin
The Mentor Alliance
Gospel Village
Pine Cove
South Spring Baptist Church
Our Website: You Can Mentor

Episode: 4

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
SHOW NOTES

youcanmentor.com
forerunnermentoring.com

Episode: 3

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
MEET THE TEAM

Zachary Garza Sr. Writer/Interviewer
Daniel De Jesús Host/Interviewer
Caroline Cash Host/Interviewer
Stephen Murray Producer/Editor

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SHOW NOTES

Zachary Garza: Instagram | Medium | Forerunner Mentoring
Our Website: You Can Mentor

WFAA Special: Forerunner Mentoring (youtube)

Episode: 2

_______________
WELCOME

You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.

_______________
MEET THE TEAM

Zachary Garza Sr. Writer/Interviewer
Daniel De Jesús Host/Interviewer
Caroline Cash Host/Interviewer
Stephen Murray Producer/Editor

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SHOW NOTES

You Can Mentor
Forerunner Mentoring
Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development
The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis
Empowered to Connect: Children from Hard Places (youtube)