"Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them” – James A. Baldwin

As adults who interact with children at some level or another, we all bear a responsibility to nurture them to be good human beings. Kindness, as we all can agree, is at the heart of being a good human.

In this episode, Saba and Raya discussed the importance of modeling kindness and tolerance for impressionable young minds that soak up everything they witness around them like a sponge in water. We delve into psychosocial concepts that explain why modeling is so vital for children and how we can incorporate good modeling behaviors into our lifestyles.

(00:00) - Introduction

(01:30) - What is kindness and its associated characteristics?

(02:50) - Thinking at the level of the kids

(04:00) - Why modeling is so important?

(04:40) - World/self-view formed during childhood is mostly stable across the lifespan

(05:02) - Nature Vs Nurture

(06:00) - Children copy everything

(07:50) – Practice what you preach

(09:00) – It is important to give children space to feel

(11:50) – Do not command children but rather explain

(13:00) – Habits/lifestyles are formed with time

(14:40) – Anger is a natural emotion

(15:20) – Things kids can practice to control their emotions

(17:11) – Get professional help when needed

(17:40) – What happens when a child grows up without a proper role model

(19:30) – The consequences extend to all aspects of life

(21:40) – It's hard to change our preconceived beliefs

(23:30) – What can we do to foster kindness

(25:50) – Media influences behavior

(31:08) – To change the system, young minds need to be nurtured

(31:50) – Teach kids about control

(33:30) – Make learning fun

(34:00) – Importance of reinforcement

(37:20) – Kindness doesn’t mean saying yes to everyone/everything

(39:16) – What is misguided kindness?

(43:14) – Wrapping up

Trigger warning: Mentions of eating disorders

Spiritual, mental, and physical well-being are very much interconnected.

We focused this week's episode on preparing for Ramadan, with a special focus on mental health struggles that some people might face during this time. In this episode, Saba and Rifoo looked into some reasons behind these seasonal struggles and some simple yet, important steps that we can take to relieve some difficulties and enjoy the blessed month to the best of its possibilities. 

(00:21) - Introduction

(01:27) - Why Ramadan can be a stressful time for some people?

(02:06) - Unmet expectations can be hard

(02:50) - Feeling of guilt and shame that come with expectations

(04:00) - There could be many reasons behind these unmet expectations

(05:50) - Intention and effort matters

(06:30) - Don'be too hard on your self

(08:30) - Brief explanation on eating disorders

(09:50) - Some simple things you can do if you struggle with an eating disorder

(11:50) - Delay your Suhoor

(12:26) - Consult your clinician before Ramadan

(13:50) - Importance of actively looking for best practices from valid sources

(14:40) - Gut health is related to mental health

(16:23) - Cooking healthy can help you eat healthy

(18:25) - Ask for help if you need it, accept it when offered and reach out if you know someone is struggling

(19:40) - Planning is key!!

(19:50) - Plan according to 3 x 10 days of Ramadan

(23:00) - Actions that can be taken to physically prepare for Ramadan

(23:20) - Fasting before Ramadan

(24:30) - Cleaning

(26:00) - Journalling

(27:00) - Extreme changes in sleeping patterns can be distruptive in many ways

(29:20) - Maintain the good habits formed during the Ramdan even after

On tonight’s episode, Mikhail and Rifoo talk about the struggles of healing or going through a tough time without a support system. They bring to the table tips on how you can show up for yourself more, while acknowledging the difficulty of doing just that- especially if those that you’re surrounded with are not able or willing to be there for you.

(00:20) -  Introduction

(00:40) - What's a support system?

(01:00) - Why support is so important?

(02:00) - Who can be a part of our support system?

(03:35) - We tend to take our support system for granted when life is 'normal'

(04:00) -  We are not helpless even when there is no support system

(05:30) - What happens when support systems fail?

(06:34) - Stigma plays a big role

(07:13) - Choosing ourselves over holding grudges

(07:50) - Priorotising ourselves isn't selfish

(08:15) -  What can we do to heal?

(10:25) - making time for gratitude

(11:50) - making room for tiny changes that amount to a lot

(12:45) - putting your toe in the ocean/ diving into it analogy

(13:35) - boxing/sweating out your irritability

(15:05) - cheap, small joys

(15:25) - grounding yourself mindfully

(16:10) - breaking out of the funk

(16:40) - frustration with people you love

(17:40) - setting boundaries with people who don’t understand after an honest dialogue

(19:30) - people who care may not have resources to give

(20:30) - learning to ask for help when you need it

“How are we influenced by social media? And who are we in spite of it?”

In tonight’s episode, Raya and Leen discuss the gravity of the anxiety felt when we experience FOMO (the fear of missing out). We dig into the complexities of what it means to be exposed to content that makes us question how accepted/worthy we are as people.

We take a look at minimizing the effects of FOMO, exploring the possible joy/fun of missing out. And on the other side of the coin- how media can be used to deepen our experiences in connection.

Timestamps:

(00:50) - What is FOMO

(02:50) - Correlation between social media and feeling disconnected

(03:30) - Curated nature of content

(04:10) - Success/Achievement comparison

(07:25) - Being authentic on media

(09:45) - What does a real connection mean

(11:25) - Building real connections

(13:15) - What FOMO can lead to in young people

(13:55) - Types of FOMO

(16:20) - Wanting to fit in

(17:20) - Trend cycles and how it traps you

(20:05) - Mental health effects of FOMO

(21:00) - The struggles of teenagehood being worsened by media

(22:35) - Minimizing FOMO

(22:45) - Meeting people you have real connections with

(24:30) - Deepening friendships through media

(26:34) - Social media has devalued the value of frienships

(26:40) - Putting an effort should not be substituted with an instagram story like

(27:03) - JOMO or FOMO

(28:15) - The negative correlation between mood and time spent scrolling

(30:30) - Social media makes you feel disconnected from the real world

(31:30) - Sometimes FOMO could be productive

(33:05) - Can the 'FOMO productivity' be toxic?

(33:30) - Wrapping up

Trigger Warning; mentions of interpersonal violence, child grooming, and rape

“We grown up with certain values, because of religion, and culture, and family- and remembering to respect those values within ourselves and those that we love is something to keep in mind for all of us. No matter our age.”

In our fourth episode, Leen and Saba discuss some important elements of the teen dating scene. We explore some of the factors that play into teenage romance, how it can impact emotional growth and wellbeing, as well as some unhealthy/abusive patterns we sometimes observe in these relationships.

We do not hold a particular stance on teenage dating, but attempt to provide some insight through the lens of a teenager. Importantly, we also put our adult caps on and discussed how parents, mentors, and adults involved in a teen’s life can help them navigate the generally challenging period of growing up, falling into feelings, and perhaps even, potential heartbreak.

Timestamps:

(02:53) - Why and how teenage dating begins

(04:00) - Biology of teenage dating

(04:48) - Exposure to romance/hyper-sexualization on media

(6:00) - Strained relationships between teenagers and their parents

(07:15)- Peer pressure

(09:00) - Teenage brain and development

(10:50) - Social belongingness and acceptance

(11:35) - Toeing the line between being a kid and an adult

(12:55) - How adults react/what to be wary of as a parent

(16:45) - Difficult/harmful situations in teenage relationships

(19:15) - How to better ensure safety of teenagers

(21:30) - Fostering better bonds with your child

(22:00) - A child can be a perpetrator

(22:40) - Parents' reaction to child victimization

(23:27) - Creating/becoming a safe space for children to confide

(24:13) - Prevantative strategies

(24:50) - Good kids get trapped in bad situations

(26:24) - Child grooming

(27:06) - It is every adults' responsibility to be there for children

(27:40) - Unrealistic expectations can lead to despair

(29:00) - Show genuine interest in kids' lives BEFORE something happens

(31:11) - Every relationship should be based on mutual love and respect

(32:19) - Teaching kids about consent and boundaries

(35:00) - Importance of sex education

(37:50) - Sex education is not immoral

(39:00) - Sex eduation should be age appropriate

(39:50) -Improper sexual exposure can lead to problems later in life

(41:00) - Wrapping up

Journal article mentioned by Leen: Romantic Love, Hypomania, and Sleep Pattern in Adolescents (https://www.jahonline.org/article/S1054-139X(07)00026-2/pdf)

Trigger Warning: frequent mentions of suicide

“How can we come to perceive something as difficult as suicide through a lens of mercy, when we don’t know our religion’s mercy in the first place?”

In our third episode of You Can Tell Us, Saba, Leen, and Rifoo discuss how our perception of Islam as Maldivians affect our understanding of suicide.

We try to break down the interaction of culture and religion, and lay out facts from Islam in regards to how it speaks of suicide. This was our humble attempt at highlighting the mercy of Allah and how we often forget to reserve judgement for the One who created us.

Disclaimer: we are not Islamic scholars, all information stated is from research of Islamic scholars and verified hadith (refer below)

Additional note from Leen:

I mentioned that all mental health disorders are treatable along with mentioning the preventable nature of suicide at 37:00. This was not to imply an easy cure for every disorder, but in reference to individuals who suffer from all mental health disorders being able to live meaningful lives through help and assistance from community and the right resources.

Timestamps:

(2:07) - Society’s initial reaction to suicide through a religious lens

(4:05) - Religion’s interaction with culture

(5:10) - Lack of religious knowledge

(8:27) - Difficulties in shifting religious mindset

(10:13) - Lack of accessibility of religious resources to older population

(12:45) - Facts about suicide in Islam

(18:32) - Beauty of Islam

(19:30) - Mercy of Allah SWT

(21:30) - How culturally influenced religious perspective about suicide affects help/treatment seeking behavior

(23:20) - Muslims' contributions to the field of mental health

(25:00) - Why we shouldn't say mental health isn't apart of Islam

(28:50) - The relationship between mental distress and faith is not causal but rather correlational

(31:00) - The repercussions of the distrust in Allah's mercy

(34:00) - Importance of knowing the difference between religion and culture

(34:40) - Highlighting the importance of actively trying to learn the religion

(36:50) - Suicide is preventable

Trigger Warning; frequent mentions of suicide

“There is no time limit on grief.”

In our second episode of You Can Tell Us, Saba and Rifoo discuss the aftermath of a suicide in society.

Looking at the emotions of deep grief, shame, and even guilt on the part of the victim’s loved ones, and how reactions from society may influence those emotions, Saba and Rifoo reflect on how we can be present for those who are hurting.

They also dive into preventative measures that we can be taking on an individual level and a policy level.

Timestamps:

(00:00) - Introduction

(02:00) - Parental impact on children passing away by suicide

(02:53) - Family roles and understanding aftermath

(04:34) - Blaming, shaming, and guilt

(05:20) - Understanding grief

(08:40) - Coping mechanisms for grief

(12:20) - Society’s take on aftermath

(13:07) - Community’s role in providing support to the victim’s family

(14:40) - Suicide prevention as individuals

(17:55) - Suicide prevention on a policy/community level

(18:30) - Self care as a prevention strategy

(19:00) - Mental health disorders and the correlation with risk of suicide

(20:45) - Knowing the warning signs

(24:00) - Policy level framework for further awareness

(28:00) - Media handling of suicide reporting

In this episode, we explore the intricate layers of suicide, the language used to talk about it, how to help a loved one on the verge of suicide and navigate them through the health care system