We didn’t mean to disappear for seven months… okay, maybe we did. But we’re back! Turns out, living through existential dread and trying to raise neurodivergent kids is a full-time gig (with no PTO). But we’ve surfaced—with stories, updates, and an entire dragon-themed Zoom backdrop Gwen can’t figure out how to remove.

In this catch-up episode, Gwen and Kristen are dishing out all the highs, lows, awkward award nights, top hat choices, and job transitions their neurodivergent kids have been navigating. From AmeriCorps fallout and grocery store burnout to college acceptances and Target cashier wins—we’re celebrating the inchstones (and laughing so we don’t cry).

In this episode, you’ll learn…

• [00:01:00] The fire-breathing Zoom background Gwen can’t figure out
• [00:04:00] Why we really took a break (hint: life was A LOT)
• [00:05:00] Kristen’s son Hayden goes from wildland fires to CSU
• [00:09:00] Jamison gets straight A’s—and learns asking for help is strength
• [00:11:00] Autism Elevated, Target jobs, and inchstones with Graham
• [00:15:00] Gwen’s daughter is officially becoming a Vogelzang!
• [00:18:00] Why guests are banned from Gwen’s house (for now)
• [00:19:00] Graduation night disasters, missed awards, and screaming moms
• [00:23:00] The next chapter: Beacon College + working at a lettuce farm

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-29

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Helping your child transition to adulthood isn’t for the faint of heart for any parent… but when you're helping a neurodivergent child navigate the process, it’s even harder.

Sure, there’s help– if you know where to ask for it. And your locality probably has a system or service that can offer support– but it has a different title in every state. And don’t forget that the type of diploma or certificate your child receives from high school can affect the type of support they can qualify for. Feeling overwhelmed yet? 

Well, before you start hyperventilating, in today’s episode, we’re sharing all the things we’ve discovered while launching our neurodivergent kids, so you’ll have an idea about what support to look for when it comes to your own kids. We’re covering Medicaid, job programs, when the school transition starts, where to look for support, and even the personality changes our kids undergo through this process.

If you have an older neurodivergent child and you’re feeling overwhelmed about the future, you need this episode. Let's dive in!

In this episode, you’ll learn…

[00:00] Intro

[02:18] Why we’re talking about what the transition to adulthood looks like with kids on the spectrum

[04:39] A Rylanism and Grahamism to lighten the mood

[09:41] Where to start when it comes to helping your neurodivergent child transition from school to adulthood

[15:09] Gwen’s experience of struggling to find information on the services available for the transition process

[22:55] The difference between guardianship and power of attorney for our kids 

{25:05] What Medicaid qualification looks like for some of our kids and who can help you navigate the process

[29:00] Some educational considerations and decisions to keep in mind during the transition process

[33:23] How the transition to adulthood changes our kids into radically different humans

[41:34] The Last Word with Rylan and Graham

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-28

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

We’re back! As you may have noticed, we took the summer off of podcasting as our families navigated some big changes and milestones this summer. We didn’t mean to disappear, but we *may* have forgotten to tell you that we were taking a break. Sorry about that.

So today, we’re catching you up on all the changes in our lives during the last few months. Gwen is giving updates on all three of her kids –yes, you read that right: three. She’s covering Rylan’s adventures, Reagan adjusting to a new sibling, and of course, introducing their new family addition! 

Meanwhile, Kristen shares how Graham is continuing to gain confidence, Jameson is loving school, and how Hayden has finally found a place in the world that feels well-matched to both his strengths and interests.

If your family has also been in a state of change this year, this episode will feel very relatable. Let's dive in!

In this episode, you’ll learn…

[00:00] Intro

[01:03] Kristen and Gwen acknowledge their unexpected absence (sorry, friends!)

[03:15] Gwen describes the way her family has expanded

[10:09] Kristen explains the big changes that her family experienced this year

[16:21] Gwen and Kristen discuss the sticky topic of neurodivergent kids transitioning into adulthood

[22:57] Gwen and Kristen each share hopeful stories of their children finding success navigating the adult (and soon-to-be adult) world

[29:05] The lesson Gwen and Kristen keep learning over and over again

[37:33] The Last Word with Rylan and M

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-27

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

When it comes to the brains of our neurodivergent kids and friends… There can be a lot going on. Constant input that they struggle to filter, regular therapy that they may not be able to implement yet, and expectations from a society that’s not built for them: it can be so overwhelming and dysregulating.

And while manual therapy interventions can result in slow, steady progress, using the principles of neuroplasticity can help accelerate and regulate the brains of our kids much faster. And that’s where Brain Harmony comes in.

In today’s episode, Gwen and Kristen are joined by Carol Garner-Houston to discuss neuroplasticity, what a therapy accelerant is, and how Brain Harmony can make a difference –quickly– in the lives of our neurodivergent kids.

This episode might change your life, and you can’t miss it. Let’s dive in!

In this episode, you’ll learn…

[00:00] Intro

[01:03] Kristen’s not-so-good morning

[04:46] Gwen’s revelation on summer planning

[08:03] The therapy that was life-changing for Gwen and her kids

[16:19] How the brain reacts during therapies and how Brain Harmony helps to accelerate that process using 

[23:30] The scientific basis for Brain Harmony and an explanation of neuroplasticity

[30:06] Gwen’s experience with Brain Harmony and why she appreciated using it for her family

[37:37] How accelerants like Brain Harmony can help calm a dysregulated nervous system

[41:41] What you actually hear when you listen to Brain Harmony 

[45:36] The symptoms that Brain Harmony can help treat and how to start working with Brain Harmony

Get the Brain Harmony quiz here!

Get the Brain Harmony course on screen safety!

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-26

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Imagine with us for a moment: What would it feel like to be in a concert hall… but having a personalized audio experience created for your own individual needs? And not only that, but someone ten feet away from you could have their own audio experience tailored to their preferences that is incredibly different from your own. Sound fictional? Well, not anymore, and it could be a major game-changer for our neurodivergent loved ones.

In today’s episode, Gwen and Kristen are joined by two guests, Jen VanSkiver and James Bobel, to discuss new audio technology that could be revolutionary for those with auditory processing disorder. James describes what this new technology feels like and how it works. He also discusses possible use cases with Jen as they imagine just how inclusive the world could be if this technology were implemented broadly.

This is such a mind-blowing episode, and you can’t miss it. Let’s dive in!

In this episode, you’ll learn…

[00:00] Intro

[01:05] Some really big life updates for both Gwen and Kristen

[06:56] How Rylan is handling the big change in the Vogelzang household

[09:46] What auditory processing is and how it affects the neurodivergent community

[17:07] What HOLOPLOT is and how it is transforming audio engineering by controlling sound

[21:07] Where and how this new technology is being implemented

[28:37] What it feels like to experience HOLOPLOT audio technology

[35:35] How Jen VanSkiver envisions using HOLOPLOT technology and the endless ways it can make spaces more accessible for everyone

[47:59] The Last Word with Rylan

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-25

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Quite frankly, we need your help to keep this podcast going. If you want to support us and the production of YDWAHR, consider donating to our GoFundMe here:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/fund-the-future-of-you-dont-want-a-hug?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_lico+share-sheet&attribution_id=sl:05e43f5c-1789-4820-8549-9a5b3e1f75f6 

And we’re not going to sugar coat it friends: navigating puberty with neurodivergent kids is rough. And it’s not just because we have to explain to our kids the importance of showering and explaining the function of certain parts of their anatomy in great and uncomfortable detail.

Puberty also brings with it some intense emotional and personality changes. The little kids that we knew so well are maturing into adults that we often don’t understand quite as well anymore, and that transition can be tough too.

In this episode, we’re reflecting on what puberty looked like for our kids, the direct and honest ways we navigated conversations with our kids, and the tricky emotional and relationship territory that our kids find themselves in now. 

All these changes are necessary and important… but that doesn’t make it easy. We’re here for you, friends, as you travel down this road. Let’s dive in! 

In this episode, you’ll learn…

[00:00] Intro

[01:56] Gwen’s very exciting Rylansim and a Grahamism that highlights some personal growth

[06:16] Why puberty and autism don’t mix well (according to both science and personal experience!)

[11:25] The very factual, detailed approach that can help some neurodivergent kids navigate puberty more easily (and why it doesn’t work for all of them)

[17:48] The stark personality changes that Gwen and Kristen’s kids went through during puberty

[21:11] The difficulties in navigating sexuality and sexual behavior in neurodivergent teens

[27:44] Why some neurodivergent teens experience additional fear and uncertainty than their peers when it comes to growing up and maturing in new ways

[35:19] The Last Word

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-23-puberty-autism-don-t-mix-navigating-puberty-with-our-neurodivergent-kids

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Burnout. It’s a word that comes up often in society and is often synonymous with being tired and needing a vacation. But when it comes to neurodivergent folks, autistic burnout can look radically different and have long-lasting effects.

In today’s episode, Becca Lory Hector shares her experience of being diagnosed with autism as an adult after an extensive bout of autistic burnout. She explains why her burnout occurred, what support she wished she had received, and what might have kept her from getting to that point, if only she’d had the language and framework to ask for the support she needed.

She also shares what a workplace that doesn’t only include neurodivergent folks, but offers them truly belonging, would look like, and why this change is so necessary for our workplaces.

Becca shares so much of herself, and her insights are so enlightening for the parents of autistic and neurodivergent kids. Let’s jump in!

In this episode, you’ll learn…

[00:00] Intro

[02:07] Gwen and Kristen recap their lives since the last episode and share their Rylanism and Grahamism

[09:54] An introduction to who Becca Lory Hector is and why she’s so passionate about advocacy

[13:07] Becca’s experience of receiving an autism diagnosis as an adult

[17:03] The way Becca’s autism presents, after masking for so many years

[22:10] Becca’s perspective on how parents can prepare their autistic children to advocate for themselves

[26:24] What autistic burnout is and how it presents differently than is often portrayed in society

[34:58] The support Becca wishes she could have received while recovering from autistic burnout

[43:16] Why our workplaces need to change and not just for those with neurodivergence

[48:21] The “B” in DEIB and why it’s crucial when it comes to making space for autistic folks in the workplace

[58:17] The Last Word

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-22-flipping-the-lens-the-autistic-experience-with-becca-lory-hector

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Isolation and loneliness are realities for parenting raising humans with neurodiversity. We’ve experienced both and know how difficult it can be through the many ages and stages of our kids’ lives.

In today’s episode, we talk all about isolation and loneliness and their impact on neurodiverse families. We go into the data behind it, share stories related to feelings of isolation in many different areas of our lives, and offer strategies for how we’ve coped over the years.

In this episode, you’ll learn...

[01:31] Some Rylan-isms and Graham-isms to start off the show

[05:02] The data on isolation and its impact on neurodiverse families

[08:52] Kristen’s experience of isolation in raising triplets 

[16:10] How Gwen’s isolation began during infertility

[19:30] What isolation looked like for us during our children’s early education years

[26:36] How we spent so many years trying to be “typical” families when we’re anything but

[31:14] The isolation we felt from our religious communities

[35:53] The difference between isolation and loneliness and how we’ve learned to cope and find support

[43:27] The Last Word from one of our kids and their thoughts on isolation

Get full show notes and the episode transcript:

https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-3-neurodiverse-families-and-the-many-faces-of-isolation

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/

Therapy plays an important role in our neurodiverse children’s lives… But let’s be real: the act of constantly driving all over to drag our kids into dingy, uncomfortable waiting rooms multiple times a week is not fun. 

In this episode, Gwen and Kristen dive into this phenomenon: why parents of neurodiverse kids end up in this situation, how to make the process and experience a little more tolerable, and when it might be time to pull the plug on certain therapies (and escape the excruciating waiting room experience.) 

Plus, we’ve got our usual -isms, The Last Word from our kids, and Gwen even wrote a little ditty about the waiting room experience. This is one super relatable episode that you won’t want to miss.

In this episode, you’ll learn…

[00:00] Intro

[05:51] What those waiting rooms where we spent hours, days, and months in with ALL of our kids are actually like

[09:10] Gwen’s waiting room ditty

[14:49] The things (and people) that made waiting in those dingy little rooms more tolerable

[16:17] What it felt like to question the usefulness of therapy in those waiting rooms

[22:34] The benefits and limitations of talk therapy for our neurodivergent children

[28:04] Our key takeaways from this episode on the purgatory that is the therapy waiting room and how to make it just a little bit better

[30:05] The Last Word

Get full show notes and the episode transcript: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/post/ep-21-the-purgatory-of-the-therapy-waiting-room

If you can’t get enough of us, and want stay up to date with our other projects and ways you can connect, join our newsletter: https://www.youdontwantahug.com/