You Know Me Now

On this episode we have a conversation about people and their pets living homeless.

I want to begin with what I think is a truism. And that is, “We all have issues.” For some, the issues are small and containable, while for others, the issues are big and overwhelming. Truth is though, we all struggle with something, or, somethings. The problem with the bigger personal issues, is that they can spill out into the public eye, out behind closed doors. Those are really tough moments for folks, trying to navigate not just their own feelings, but now also the feelings and judgments of others, people they might not even know. We all get this. We learned from an early age that you don’t air your dirty laundry in public. People, and entire families, go to great lengths to hide their issues, to make everything look ‘normal’.

Now consider what this means for those struggling through homelessness. Where every aspect of their personal life is on full-display. There are no closed doors to keep issues quiet behind. In this environment, the homeless receive a nearly constant stream of judgment from those that don’t know them or their circumstances. 

Why don't they pick up their garbage?
Nevermind that there is nowhere to put it. 

If they can afford a cell phone, why are they begging for money? Nevermind that the phone can be their only real connection to family, friends, and services. 

How can they take care of a dog when they can’t even take care of themself? This last question is one we want to dive into with all of you. 

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We have the sincere pleasure of sharing with you a conversation I had with my dear friend Sinan Demirel. We talked about the issue of homelessness, first from a historical perspective, to better understand how we got to this crisis point, and then a bit about solutions needed from the community and our government. 

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We want to begin this episode by asking a big question.  With all the suffering, all the helplessness and fear felt, as expressed by Dene and others living on our streets, why have we not ended homelessness?  Beyond what the solution needs to be, whatever combination of more housing, more mental health, more drug rehab, more job training, and whatever else ‘more’ is needed, why haven’t we made it happen? Could it be that we are only seeing the forest, and because of it genuinely missing the trees? Are we so overwhelmed by the larger issue of homelessness, we are truly missing the person going through.

When folks living inside discuss homelessness, among each other, the conversation often ends up being about how (quote, unquote) “the issue” affects them or their neighborhood. To put it directly, what impacts the lives of the housed is what gets talked about when discussing the unhoused. That list includes…. the piling up of garbage, drug-use, loss of park use, taxes, panhandling, right down to how the homeless smell and look on public transit. And because many people living inside are frankly tired of it, or overwhelmed by it, or even angry over it, often the knee-jerk reaction is to want, all of it, the whole issue, to just go-away. 

As community, we then support, or quietly consent, while the city erects chain link fencing around areas that were providing cover from the rain for those without shelter. We are okay with hostile architecture installed that prevents people from being able to sleep on benches, where they can be off the ground. We are put-off when we see folks hiding in the bushes or back alleys publicly going to the bathroom but we don’t demand public bathrooms and garbage pickup for those without a place to live. We turn away when sweeps are conducted, not seeing the lives being uprooted. 

Despite these types of actions, as well as the efforts to provide programs and services, the issue not only persists, it is getting worse. We have to ask ourselves, really, “Why is that?” “What are we missing here?”  Is only seeing the issue of homelessness and its effect on us, the housed, part of the problem? Would our programs and services change if we changed how we see the issue, meaning seeing the person actually suffering through homelessness?  join in on the conversation

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In this episode of You Know Me Now we’ll be discussing the controversial government policy of sweeps. 

If you are not familiar with the term, a sweep is the forced disbanding of a homeless encampment on public property.  The act of sweeping is typically performed by a combination of police, tow trucks, dumpster trucks, and any other needed government agency to accomplish the task. For example, when parks are involved, often the Parks Department is included. During a sweep all individuals, regardless of their circumstance or condition, along with all of their personal property, are removed from the area.   This is fairly straightforward. Government removing people and belongings from locations where laws have made it illegal to reside.  Sweeps are often set into motion when individuals in business and residential neighborhoods complain that the laws are not being enforced. In short, homed individuals reach a tipping point and want something done.  This seems reasonable. I think everyone can sympathize with those that have been impacted by a homeless encampment either near their business, out front of their home, or in the park they enjoy. It is clearly unfair that the impact of homelessness should be felt by a few when it is in fact a larger community issue and responsibility. 
However, sweeps as a solution have not proven to be an answer to, or even a path towards, addressing homelessness. Yes they provide immediate relief to those being impacted, but the issue itself is not being resolved by sweeping, only swept to a new location where another neighborhood is then impacted.  There is a plethora of information around homelessness, including sweeps. Most of it comes in the form of collected data around programs, policies, services, resources, and budgets. What gets missed in all the data is the human being being swept. Nobody is measuring increased levels of trauma, or how many steps back are taken in what is already a difficult path to move forward on for those struggling with homelessness. It is accurate to say, sweeps are conducted to benefit the homed, not the homeless.  In a situation where people are illegally living on public land, why should our policies and programs be structured to benefit them? What’s wrong with sweeps just benefiting those living legally? To quote many folks living outside, when told to ‘move along’, they will answer, “Move along to where?” One of the fundamental flaws with sweeps is that there is no safe place to be swept to. All the land is spoken for. When housing is offered often it ends up being unavailable or unsuitable to that person’s real needs.  

 It is also important to remember that each person living on the street has a profound and true story of why they are there. Nobody just chooses homelessness. Often, beginning very early in childhood, some form of trauma is experienced, knocking them off their life path. While most of us move forward on our journey, working to fulfill our hopes and dreams, those who have been traumatized spend a great deal of time just getting back to the start line, just trying to survive. For this reason alone we owe it to those struggling on our streets.

 If we are going to address homelessness in a meaningful way, our programs need to also fit the needs of the homeless, not just the homed. Our actions must be thoughtful and sensitive to not only do no harm, but to also actively provide paths forward. This begins by listening to those living on our streets.

In this episode you will hear from people who have recent, first hand experience of what it's like to be swept.  Also we talk to a few very passionate folks from Stop the Sweeps Seattle, a mutual aid group who advocate for services over sweeps.

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In this episode we meet Auntie who poses a question. A question really for all of us, which is, “If you are judging my life, tell me what you have done with yours?” She goes on to say, there are probably a lot of your actions that you don’t think are wrong, but to her and to others, maybe they are.

I don’t think Auntie is just saying defensively, “Judging her is like the tea kettle calling the pot black.” I think she is looking for more than that. She’s pointing out that we all have parts of our lives that others disagree with and that we should not simply fall into quick judgment. Rather, can we come together to find shared truth. I think it is at the center of why Auntie wanted to share her story.

Life is always more complicated, or gray, than the black and white world we often want it to be. We do need each other and all our differing views to find our way through the gray.

This conversation for sure is not meant to define the lines of right and wrong. That’s for all of us to work through. Rather, it is just asking us to stop and reflect on the complexity of life and give space for each other on issues we differ on.

Drugs are a polarizing force in our society. Some believe there should be zero tolerance for drug users and dealers, while others, such as Auntie, believe that all drugs should be made legal. Listening to each other is the first step in finding the shared truth.

Auntie feels she has lived a good life guided by her love of people. She knows she has pushed the edges of what society approves of but also that she has held true to her own sense of what is right and wrong, her own code of ethics. She says without reservation, she has no regrets.

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Drug addiction.  As vast and complex as this topic is, chances are you already have strong opinions based on past experiences. Perhaps you’ve had a bicycle stolen and you’re sure it was taken by someone addicted, looking to sell it for their next fix. You negatively refer to that unknown person as a “junkie”. It becomes your opinion of the drug issue.  Perhaps your sister overdosed and died. As a result your parents couldn’t find a way to emotionally support each other so they divorced. The grief was too great. Because of it, you’re angry at anyone who takes drugs. Perhaps you are addicted yourself and have burned every relationship you’ve ever had, including those in your family. You feel lonely, isolated. You believe nobody cares. Every person that has been touched by drug addiction, either personally or through a friendship, a close one or even a brief encounter, has strong visceral feelings about this issue. Feelings that are accompanied with endless questions. Most of which are difficult, emotional, and often unanswered. To find the answers we need to get past the soundbites and stereotypes. We need to dive deeper. 

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What does becoming a friend with someone experiencing homelessness look like?

Getting to know and becoming friends with anyone, you begin to care about that person, about their well being. When your friend is struggling it pulls at you, you want to help. That’s what friends do.

Often in these moments, the problem isn’t the ‘wanting to help’, it is in the ‘how to help’. That’s the very moment it gets complicated. Always. Giving help to anyone is a tricky thing. Giving help to someone that is homeless, at times feels a bit like swimming out to someone you love that is drowning.

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Meet Courtney. A mother of three who has survived homelessness on Seattle streets. “When we first came to Seattle it was so freeing, so comfortable. It all felt right. I remember closing my eyes and breathing in the beauty of the Pacific Northwest, feeling happy. A sense of belonging filled me. Best of all we didn’t feel judged. People were saying, “No worries”. - Courtney

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You Know Me Now is a Seattle based podcast, storytelling and journalism project giving voice to those marginalized in our community. From these life stories we hope to spark conversation and connection. We are doing this with the sole purpose of bringing us all closer together so that we can better address the issues that divide us.

When we listen to those living different lives or views from our own, we begin a journey of understanding. An understanding of not only those around us, but also ourselves. To move forward, we must know that everyone has their own truth. It begins by not being right or wrong, but rather by listening.

Those sharing openly and vulnerably do so with the hope of non-judgment in return. This is the beginning of coming closer.

This is our first episode, a trailer that gives a glimpse into what you can expect to hear from us. We hope you join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/

More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/stories