Your Life on Purpose

On this episode, I’d like to introduce you to Leon and how one simple act of kindness can spawn a slew of others.

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When Leon decided to kill himself, he was literally at the end of his rope. But before he slipped away from us, he had one last thought:

What if I did something so crazy, so ‘out there’, and gave this life one more chance?

With nothing to lose, Leon filled up his motorcycle’s gas tank and set off from his L.A. flat east to New York. The clothes on his back, one tank of gas, a smile on his face: everything else he’d need would have to come through kindness. His goal? Ride across the world.

No big deal, right? (face palm)

In his book, The Kindness Diaries, Leon goes into detail just how he accomplished this quest. Inevitably, his story made him an international celebrity and his thought-experiment became the evidence that people around the globe needed to prove the world’s benevolence. People all around the world offered him gas, food, clothes, entertainment, and a roof to sleep under. The only place he had to sleep on the street was in…New York City. Bummer.

When Leon and I sat down for an interview, I was in awe of his story and his so very upbeat and optimistic character. This guy almost killed himself, I thought, and the world could have never benefited from his quest. That could have been a terrible shame and thankfully, Leon chose to live. And live he is.

Leon’s story teaches me that kindness breeds kindness. Around the same time that I interviewed Leon, I learned that two of my friends, Heather and Jessica, had lost their battle with cancer. Heather was like a sister to me in high school and Jessica and I were accountability partners to help the other transform education. The last time I saw Jessica, we both spoke at Apple on the art of transforming education. The last time I saw Heather, we reminisced about the time we made a wall of photos of all the many mullets we saw on our day-to-day.

Like most people, I wondered what I could do to help. I also needed to respect the grieving process. So, I made the simple choice of donating my hair to help another warrior in need. And a couple years later, I finally was able to. I just got it cut yesterday and while I miss my manbun, I’m happy to know that my hair will go to someone in need. A warrior who is on such a beautiful hero’s journey who will receive recognition that the world loves and cares for them.

Like Leon’s story teaches us, each of us play such an integral part in this world and we all have a choice to be a negative force or a positive one. When we choose to be a positive force, we elevate the world’s collective conscious. Meaning, when we spread kindness, kindness exponentially grows and grows and grows. One smile sprouts another. Our attention then focuses on the positive in the world.  

As you continue on your own hero’s journey,  join me in trying this:

Ask yourself this simple question just once today. How can I spread kindness?

Pay someone’s toll behind you. Pick up the tab for the person in back of you when in line. Perhaps consider donating your hair. Or, just smile, establish eye contact, and say hello to all that you meet today.

We live in such a magnificent world and I thank you for creating it with me.

Wishing you all a beautiful day, full of love, light, and adventure,

And oh yeah…

Reach out and tell me a story in your life where kindness bred kindness. As a thank you, I'll then randomly select one person and send them a Be Good To People t-shirt. Send me your note at [email protected].

My coffee's cold and I have Yoda, Joseph Campbell, and a blissful meditation to blame. Instead of writing first thing in the morning like I usually do on the weekend, I read Pathways to Bliss from Campbell, played fetch with Yoda then stayed in meditation beyond the 20-minute timer. But alas, I really excited to share this episode today.

On today’s episode, let’s dig into establishing credibility and defining our own ethos. There are 3 Ways to Create Your Own Ethos which I’d like to share with you. By the way, I tend to flip flop the two wrods, credibility and ethos because traditionally they were the same thing. Aristotle, when he wrote the rules on rhetoric, defined ethos as how to establish one’s credibility. Now, ethos is also often used to define one’s own personal beliefs.       

1. Pursue Your Mastery

A man in his thirties wanted to pursue a Ph.D — the cream of the academic crop. He talked himself out of it because it’d take about five years to achieve the Ph.D — and he’d be forty-nine years old or older after completion.

When asked what age he’d be in five years without pursuing the degree, he realized he’d be the same age regardless. The only one holding him back was himself.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that we can be anything we want to be, regardless of age. Just take a look at Edwin Dannen who at age 93, still pursues mastery on a daily basis.

Lately, the Ph.D has been bashed because it no longer holds as much societal clout any more. Plenty of Ph.Ds file for unemployment. While often times academic goals do hinder our ability to create our life’s work in the present, if a Ph.D is what you strive for, go for it, no matter your age. You define your own means to mastery.

1. Your Rite of Passage (Own Your Ethos)

It’s amazing how the world’s many cultures have defined the transition from childhood to adulthood. Whether it’s a tribal celebration around a bonfire that culminates in a post-pubescent circumcision or donning a long black robe w/ cap and tassel to receive a slip of paper that says “You Are Now Credible”, each culture has attempt to clearly define the transition from childhood to adulthood.

In Freudian logic, it’s where we transition from looking to Mommy and Daddy for safety and become Mommy and Daddy ourselves.

> In Western culture, academia plays a key role in our cultural rite of passage. You are an adult when you get your diploma.

> But it’s so easy to put off ownership. It’s a lot easier to blame someone else for the mistakes we make. Instead, recognize your genius right now. Understand that you came into this world with a beautiful unique set of gifts that no diploma, mother, father, or ceremony could grant you.

> Your rite of passage came with your first breath. And breathe deep my friends, because the air is as crisp as a fresh apple.

1. Create Your Life’s Work Now (Even If You Want a Ph.D)

So often we hold ourselves back from putting our work out there in the present, mostly because of imminent failure (even in small doses).

In school, students write essays and create projects that don’t go further than the teacher’s desk. The world outside academia rarely gets to see all the incredible work students create on a daily basis. So we wait until we don a cap and gown (w/ tassel) and receive a slip of paper that hopefully proves we won’t make a fool of ourselves.

But we will (even in small doses). And that’s okay.

Without getting too grim, we like to think that the sun will always rise tomorrow, but it doesn’t have to. And that breath you just took? It’s a beautiful gift.

So create your work now. Not tomorrow. Not next year. Now.

Just take a look at Bhavani Esapathi who recently won Wired’s Creative Hack Award. Diagnosed with a severe chronic illness at a young age, Bhavani has gone on to create Chronically Driven — a collection of real stories from people around the globe who have persevered through chronic illness and created a better world. For  these people, illness has not doused their flame. It’s set their life on fire.

Remember that it’s a beautiful  world we live in that needs you and each of us play an integral part in helping another.

Have you ever learned something that apparently the rest of the world knew, but you didn’t? For me, that came in the form of a lotus flower yesterday. I’ve seen the flower all over. It’s about as ubiquitous as the zen Enso symbol in the business of mindfulness. I just never knew its story.

So when a new yoga instructor spoke about the lotus flower during class and an old friend shows up to a dinner party with a new lotus flower tattoo, I took this coincidence as an opportunity to learn more about the flower.

What makes a lotus flower so unique is that it’s a little beautiful bright flower that sits atop the water with roots that travel deep into the muddy muck far below.

Its symbolism represents the beauty that can grow out of the muck in our lives. What can it teach us? It turns out, quite a bit.

Two Simple Lessons from the Lotus Flower

1. Out of the Muck, Create Something That Matters

The muck in our lives can be life’s greatest teacher. As Pema Chodron reminds us, “If we learn to open our hearts, anyone, including the people who drive us crazy can be our teacher.”

When you put a microscope to the muck in your life, what can it teach you?

For Billy Starr, creator of the Pan-Mass Challenge charity bike ride which has raised over 500 million for cancer research, that muck came in the form of losing his mother to cancer.

After losing his mother to melanoma at the young age of forty-nine, twenty-five-year-old Billy hit a new low. It became hard to focus on anything other than the memories of his mother. So he went for a bike ride. Then another. And another. Instead of ignoring the muck in his life, he dug in deep and grew roots. These roots blossomed into one of the most successful charity race-like events to date.

Billy’s story is not unique, however. A number of people I’ve interviewed have turned the muck of their lives into an opportunity to create something that matters.

The formula? Multiply the muck times your unique talent and add in a big, hairy audacious dream that inspire you. The sum total will be far greater than anything you could have imagined before digging into the muck.

1. Bring Your Muck Into Focus

At the beginning of this new year, I sat down to write with the full intention to continue work on a book I’ve been putting off. What happened instead, however, grew into over 2,000 words that I splashed in my journal like Jackson Pollock threw paint on a canvas. My stream-of-consciousness led me to discover that I have a bit of a problem with perfectionism.

But I learned that just writing can sometimes be the best self-help. As Julia Cameron put it in her book to help people discover their unique art, called aptly The Artist’s Way, “Just as a good rain clears the air, a good writing day clears the psyche.”

First, I wrote out all the things I really want to do in the near future, like getting my yoga certification. Then, I wrote out why I feel unable to do it. In the yoga example, I had a deep desire for quite some time to immerse myself in an ashram in India for a two month-long yoga certification. Since I couldn’t do this without sacrificing a job I love along with being a caretaker for my loving wife, I put it off until the timing is right.

All or nothing was my logic. And I’ve always been a “go big or go home” kind of guy. Perhaps it’s the snowboarder machismo in me. Compromise has always been a dirty word — a bit like sipping tea when craving coffee.

But this logic is perfectionism in a mask. And while perfectionism can be a beautiful trait, it can also lead to never getting anything done. So, I left it up to the power of intention. I literally wrote out that if a yoga certification class were to come to my attention that day in a timeline that allowed me to keep my greater responsibilities, I’d move to make it happen. It just so happened that an hour later I entered a new studio who just announced a yoga teacher training program that looked to fit in perfectly. And you all know the end of this story. I ended up focusing my efforts and joined   that yoga teacher training program and gladly walked away with my certificate to teach.  

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If you can’t stand your job and feel drained at work, identify what it is exactly that drains you. Is it because you’re not inspired or feel pulled down by negative coworkers?

If you’re feeling held back, what is it exactly that’s holding you back? Is it feelings of self-doubt or a disempowering relationship?

But instead of just thinking about it. Pull the tangled ball of thoughts into a straight line by grabbing a pen or opening up a word processor.

Type.

Write.

Dig your hands in the muck.

“Multiply the muck times your unique talent and add in a big, hairy audacious dream that inspires you. The sum total will be far greater than anything you could have imagined before.”

On this episode, I’d like to talk about keeping that New Year Resolution Feeling Alive.

Every new year, millions of people around the world celebrate this new beginning.  Millions share new resolutions and goals knowing that they have 365 new chances to live out their greatest self.

During the new year every year, our culture shifts the idea of a normal conversation. Instead of being asking, “What do you do?” at networking events or dinner, for instance, we’re asked about our resolutions and the conversation focuses on the meaningful changes we all want to have in our lives.

The collective positive energy around this time of year is palpable — like a race car driver waiting for the green flag to start. One foot on the brake, the other revving the supercharged engine.

But for many, this feeling lasts only a few weeks at best.

Like you also do, I create a list of yearly goals I intend to achieve that range from books I intend to read and experiences I intend to attract into my life. I fully intend to achieve these goals. But here’s what I’ve learned. So often in my life I got way too attached to a goal and had a sort of tunnel vision. The destination, the goal, blinded me from the beauty of the journey.

Being attached to the outcome of a goal, we  lose the beauty in each day.

So, how do we live our lives to the fullest, set goals, and soak up the marrow of life (As Thoreau would put it) without being too focused on an outcome?

Practice and Non-Attachment

Practice your intentions which could lead you to your yearly goals on a daily basis. If you intend to be more mindful, then set up a daily meditation practice, join a yoga studio, or find a new mindful mastermind group that builds you up to be a better person. If you intend to attract a positive cash flow in your life, then set up a daily practice towards building passive income, mastering a skill that would increase your hourly freelance cost, or delegate more tasks to automation or a team of assistants so you can focus on expanding your business.

Dig deep into your practice. Work to achieve mastery. Just don’t get too caught up in it.

Practice non-attachment to your goal. If you have a goal to make “X” amount of money, try not to be so attached to that number that it causes you to act in a malevolent way towards another person and be less humble. If you have a goal to lose 25 pounds by summer, don’t get down on yourself if you lose 20.

Treat the means to the goal (each day) with just as much love and appreciation as the intended outcome. Goals can help us drive forward and live out the greatest version of ourselves only when we’re not blinded by them.

Perhaps attachment to resolutions and goals comes from a source of emptiness, as if we need a goal to feel a sense of being. This makes sense too, considering the overwhelming amount of messages that we get through media that tell us that our lives are not complete without a new gadget, a slimmer waistline, or more money.

If we allow this type of messaging to control our feeling of well-being, we’re attached to the outcome that a goal may bring and we’ve already lost the whole point of setting goals.The point of setting goals is to build us to be a better person so we can live out the greatest version of ourselves, or as Abraham Maslow would put it “living self-actualized.”

Practice. Practice. Practice. Just be open to spontaneity.

Aristotle reminds us that “We are what we repeatedly do.” If what we do every day is work so hard that we lose sight of the present, then we enter what Carl Jung called enantiodromia: a.k.a. a mid-life crisis. That’s when one day, says Jung, after many years of working so hard that keeping busy becomes habit, we lift our heads up from work and wonder where the years have gone.

As we continue throughout our lives, join me in remembering to look up every day. To see the art of the woodpecker as he meanders through the tree branches looking for that perfect spot to find breakfast. To witness that beautiful prism of color that fills the sky right before the sun rises above (or dips below) the horizon. To notice the way your partner looks at you with a smile when she thinks you don’t notice. Yes, love, I see those looks you give me and I love em.

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What about you? How do you enjoy both the journey and the destination of the goals we set in our lives?  Reach out and tell me by sending me an email at [email protected]

On this episode, I’m going to share with you two simple ways to find the story that drives your decision making. Most likely unconscious, we all have an internal narrative that either pushes us to grow or holds us back from reaching our unlimited potential.

But before we talk about our internal narrative, let’s talk about how stories drive our lives.

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King Arthur, Twilight And Our Parents All Have This in Common

We are a culture obsessed with myths, legends, and story tales. Just pick up any children’s book today and they are full of the same stories we once listened to as children. And our parents listened to. And their parents. And so on.

We’ve been telling stories for millennia. Which makes sense since the word “myth” derived from the Greek word “mythos” which translates literally as “story”.

We’ve been telling stories all the way back to when my good friend Lucy roamed the African plain around 3 million years ago: the days where we hunted and gathered for food then sat around the campfire telling stories.

From dragons to vampires, we continue to tell stories that take us into the strange world of The Unknown: a mystical world that both enchants us and terrifies us. And teaches us lessons to live by.

While we may not be hanging around the campfire anymore, we still sit around light at night and listen to stories. They just flicker through a television or smartphone. We continue to be the storytelling animal.

Beyond the fictional stories we share in our world, there are other stories that we live by and perhaps don’t even know it. These are the myths that we tell ourselves. Our inner dialogue. Our inner voice. The story within which we write our lives.

For example,

Oh, I can’t do that.

I can’t be a writer.

I can’t travel the world.

I can’t be a mother AND a CEO of a company.

I can’t take a gap year.

There are stories that we live by that regulate our lives and perhaps stop us from living out the greatest version of ourselves. Thing is, once we realize what stories control our lives, this awareness lifts the myth into a fog that blows away with the slight breeze of your breath.

Here Are Two Simple Steps to Find Your Myth

1. Right-Brain Writing (10-20 minutes)

Our left brain loves to get in the way of our thinking. The left brain loves to chime in and tell us that spelling words and putting proper punctuation are more important than expressing creative ideas trapped inside.

So, put your left brain to rest and unleash your right brain. To do this, you just need to act fast.

Set a timer for 10-20 minutes and open up a word processor or notebook. Personally, I have to type when I do this because I write a lot slower than I type and have found typing to be more conducive to this activity.

At the top, write down this question: “What stories do I tell myself and where did they come from?”

Then start writing. And keep writing. Do Not Let The Pen, Pencil, or Cursor stop from moving onward. You may write gibberish: non-sensical prose that should your mother have found it when you were a child she’d most certainly hire a therapist. That’s okay. You need to flush out your thoughts.

You may want to start off by defining what a myth is. You may write about your favorite stories. You may even write about the stories within a religion you believe.

When you get stuck and are not sure what to write again, ask yourself “Why did I write that last sentence?” and answer that question. If that doesn’t work, go back to the original question and start brand new. Talk about a new story.

Just let go and keep writing. When we speed write, we allow our unconscious mind to speak through our words.

1. Myth Meditation  (20 - 30 minute)

There are many types of meditation. In Zazen Meditation, we think of nothing but “just breathing”. In a Loving Meditation, we breathe love into our hearts and breathe out fear, perhaps with an affirmation like “May all beings be free from suffering and find peace.” In Japa Meditation, we say a word for God or “Ah” while visualizing the life we wish to grow into.

In what I’m calling here Myth Meditation, you sit and meditate on this one question: “What stories do I live by and where did they come from?”

Find a quiet space and sit in a comfortable position with eyes closed, perhaps put your tongue gently to the roof of your mouth and ask yourself the question. Thoughts will begin to emerge — perhaps related or unrelated — and will take you on a journey.

Every time you drift away, just ask yourself the question again. And again. And again. Perhaps you will just float there with the question for a while.

Memories may surface of your childhood (like they did for me), some good and others not so much. Whatever comes to the surface, just let it be. Recognize it and then let it pass through.

When your timer goes off, journal out your thoughts much like you would write out a dream. Find the common thread that ties your thoughts together. This is the story that drives your life narrative.

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What are some examples of stories that I have lived by?

1. My self-worth depends on the approval of others
2. I do not have enough time

All my life, I’ve tried so hard to fit in. In high school, even though my friends tell me I was quite popular, I always felt estranged from the other groups. I floated between the many cliques in school and remained friendly with all, but never felt like I found my kin. Funny enough, I was voted “Best Figure” as a senior superlative when all I felt was skinny and flabby.

I tried so hard to fit in, when all I needed to do was fit into my own mold of me.

Lesson here: Instead of watering down yourself to appease others, follow what inspires you to live out the greatest version of yourself.

If we came into this world already complete as Lao Tzu teaches us in the Tao Te Ching, then instead of trying to fit into another person’s mold of what is right, try instead to fit into the mold of you.

The Book of Matthew has a similar message in 10:49: “He that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” In other words, push aside the ego that tells you to fit into the mold others create for you and instead fit into the divinely created being that you already are.

I’ve just made a French press (a Costa Rican slow-dry of sorts for all of you coffee lovers) and am listening to the dance of a morning drizzle outside my office window.

What a beautiful morning.

I’m thinking a lot about inspiration. Join me for one simple thought this morning.

On this episode, I’d like to talk about what it means to live inspired. "Let inspiration be your guide. When you're inspired, you're literally walking ‘in spirit’."

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Ask yourself this simple question...

Are you inspired?

It’s an amazingly simple question that can help us steer down our paths on purpose.

When we break apart the word “inspired”, we find it comes from two words "in" and “spirit". So, the word literally means "in spirit." In other words, when you are inspired by something, it means that you are living in line with your spirit, says Dr. Wayne Dyer.

The idea goes that if you are inspired, you are walking your spirit's path, and that is when things just click. Work is easier. Coincidences happen that help you move further down the road.

It's just that simple.

What’s interesting to me is that I’ve been asking this simple question to my students for the past ten years and I keep finding the same situation.  Teenagers have a heck a time figuring out what inspires them.

But I don’t think teenagers are alone because when I open this question up to other people — many in their forties and fifties — there’s still tremendous confusion.

The philosopher Krishnamurti would suggest that it only makes sense why many people have trouble identifying what inspires them simply because we have grown up in a culture that seldom focuses on inspiration. Instead, we focus, says Krishnamurti, on taking a safe route of job security and live under the fear of failure. Instead of walking down a path of inspiration, we follow cultural dogma that keeps people in check and idolizes the shiny “next big thing” over following inspiration.

We’re under the illusion that walking down The Path of Inspiration is the riskier path. Risky because no one has walked it yet. Risky because of the unknown.

But here’s the thing, says Dr. Wayne Dyer, The Path of Inspiration ( walking “in spirit” ) is the safest path of all. Because when you follow your bliss and walk comfortably down a beautiful (albeit perhaps scary) untrodden path, God (and the universal powers that be) are on your side.

What am I currently inspired about?

This past week, I was featured on a new large media platform, The Good Men Project. On there, I wrote a piece that dives deep into a very personal story and what I'm learning about being a great husband.

I share what’s been going on behind the scenes in my life over the past four years as my wife and I grow through her healing from Lyme Disease.  Just Google “Mark Guay (space) The Good Men Project” if you’d like to read the article. Just keep some tissues nearby.

The article has already gotten over 1,000 shares and I’ve received emails from people I’ve touched with my story — one of which is a highly successful naturopathic doctor in the Seattle, Washington area.

At the same time as this article reaches virility on a major platform that focuses on living authentically, an idea my friend Cov and I have been throwing around for a few weeks just seems to be clicking so smoothly.

We’re looking at creating one-day design thinking workshops to help inspire people to have more creative confidence. The design challenge? How can we better solve the major problems facing our global and local community?”

Time will tell where this goes, but as I gain more creative confidence in myself to live more inspired, I'm learning so much about what it means to truly, deeply, live.

It’s a beautiful time to be a live. A beautiful time to dance our own dance and sing our own song. Like I’ve said many times before, it’s a new rennaisance that we live in today and each of us need to play our part. And our part is embedded in living inspired.

I'm walking inspired and I invite you to join with me.

I just poured a piping hot cup of holy basil tea and am about to make some serious superfood pancakes as I wait for the sun to peak over Mt. Beacon (coffee will come later ;)

Before all that, I’d like to share with you some thoughts on building up an accountability system that keeps the creative engine churning. And churning. And churning.

Because let’s face it: The truth is real extraordinary work requires a team. Yes, you are strong on your own. But you are much stronger when you surround yourself with people who build you up.

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Allow me to take you back to an event in my life that changed my life.

My feet felt like slabs of concrete and as my body shivered, the thought of a hot shower and a bed to collapse into taunted me like the sirens in Greek maritime lore. As I passed the mile 20 marker, a bed of green grass poked through the Philadelphia snow and I thought how convenient that it was just the perfect size for my 6’2” frame to lay down for a nap.

I could lay down right and drift off. I could end the pain, I thought.

I looked over to my left and nodded to Rich, the guy I’ve been training with for months to get us ready for the Philadelphia Marathon. I puffed up my chest and forced a smile and as he continued to run I did too, shadowing his movements pretending like I wasn’t struggling. Inwardly, however, I wanted to quit.

It was November. It was freezing cold. I was tired.

Step by step -- like a pendulum -- I bounced on and turned inward for empowerment, repeating my positive mantra meditation, and in what now seems like just a few minutes later, Rich and I celebrated our victory with a warm pretzel, chicken broth, and, in the kind of celebration that screams irony at an event that celebrates fitness, we drank beer. Delicious, sugary, glutenous, chest bumping beer.

My drive to finish the race propelled me forward.

But sometimes I struggle to regain this level of motivation.

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The other day as I sat down to write, for instance, I stared at a blank screen: the cursor taunting me like Medusa’s eyes. Frozen in stone, my fingers just hovered over the keyboard. Eventually, I closed up my laptop and said to myself that tomorrow is a new day.

A few hours later, one of those tiny miracles happened. There, at the top of my email inbox rested a beautiful message from one of you. As I read through the email, I felt like on cloud nine. The message said my podcast and positivity had helped them greatly through a very difficult time.

“My podcasting!? You mean someone actually listens to my stuff” I thought as the internal voice of criticism shot up like a firework on Independence Day.

Motivated once again, I reopened my laptop and words poured out of me like a spring of water.

This wasn’t the first time a tiny miracle motivated me to push through a creative block. It seems that every time I personally struggle to create something myself, something comes my way that says

"HELLO....DUDE...YOU NEED TO CREATE MORE OF THIS AND THAT… YOUR WORK IS IMPORTANT"  

That email brought me to tears and reminded me of an email from five years ago when a former student had explained that my positivity as her teacher had kept her on the positive when secretly at home she had considered suicide.

When I struggle to create something, I want to learn how to grow through it and that becomes the seed which blossoms into my creation. But I’ve learned that’s not enough to be consistent.  

To continue to create consistently, I pull from multiple strings of accountability: five of which I’d like to share with you today. You may have some of these strings, but if you don’t, I urge you to try them out.

Five Accountability Strings to Pull You Up When You’re Down

1. Motivation From The Inside

Some days (not that many to be completely honest) I just feel super inspired and get out of bed, ready to rock and roll and create something. Other days, I force myself to sit in meditation and after twenty minutes of mindful meditation followed by repeating positive affirmations, I feel inspired to create.

1. Motivation From The Outside

Some days, I will read an email like the one I shared above that will motivate me. Other days, I know my wife, Kaitlyn, and I will be having dinner where we’ll share our stories of what we created that day. I want to show up for that conversation with something, mainly because she always shows up and I’m always inspired by her creative genius.

Other days, I will need my accountability partners.

Each week I talk to two accountability partners who ask me what I created that week and what I plan on creating the next. Knowing that these two people are counting on me help turn on the creator inside.

My friend Chris Spurvey and I chat every Wednesday for a quick 30 minutes. Chris is a highly successful vice president for a big wig bank in Canada. He is the one who helps me realize that “selling” is not a dirty word and that when what you sell comes from your heart, it’s sharing. And sharing your art with others may just be the divine purpose we’re all here to fulfill.

My friend Covington Doan and I chat every Thursday. Cov is a design-thinking website development wiz in Texas who also owns a fantastic coffee shop called Stupid Good Coffee in Dallas. We met at Stanford d.school a few years ago and have each helped the other to follow through on turning ideas into creation.

1. Progress is Better Than Perfect (Just Ship It)

I have always believed that done is better than perfect. Otherwise, the perfectionist will always tell me it’s not good enough to share. The fight-or-flight part of the brain will creep in and tell me my work is crap and no one wants to read it.

But if I never took a first step I never would have ran a marathon.

1. The Perks of Being a Student  

When I’m learning something that inspires me, I churn the creative engine faster. For instance, when I went through my yoga teacher training I was once again humbled and excited to create. Humbled because I realize how much I needed to learn and excited because there was so much to learn. When we’re learning, we’re growing, and when we’re growing we push through to create something newly remarkable.

Just make sure to choose the right teacher that motivates you. My yoga teacher trainers, Richard and Liz, are extremely dedicated to their craft and every week they come to the studio excited to share something they are personally working to improve along with a lesson they’ve learned through their years of experience. Their expertise weaved together with their own humble trials help motivate me.

1. Build Yourself Up With Empowering People

I once hired a high-profile ( i.e. ridiculously super expensive) book editor who was really helpful…at making me feel like a terrible writer. Yes, we all need to be open to criticism (I certainly learned that through my brief stint as an actor). It takes many critical eyes to create something of perfection, but it equally requires a lot of people to help cheer you on.

Like the marathon, for instance, just imagine how many people would never ever finish the marathon if there wasn’t a giant crowd cheering them on as they ran. I can tell you from personal experience, endurance racing is a heck of a lot harder when there isn’t a giant crowd cheering to propel you forward.

Build a crowd of encouragement through the friends that you choose, the accountability partners you pick, and the places you choose to spend your time.

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Sometimes, however, all it takes to push through a creative barrier is a bit of trust in yourself knowing that whatever your marathon is, it all begins with one step. As Van Gogh put it, "If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint,' then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced.”

Just ask my wife, I’m the worst person to watch a movie with. Why? Because I ask question after question after question.

Why did the director choose to cut that scene short?

What makes what he just said ironic?

What are we being taught to believe here?

I confess. I’m a serial deconstructor (holds hands out to be cuffed). But this is what I’m trained to do after all. I’m trained to deconstruct stories. I’m trained to see what stories teach us. And I’m trained to show you what I see.

And stories, my friends, teach us way more than we may think.

From our ancient days of community campfires to the bedtime stories of our youth to the television flickering in front of millions every day, stories continue to shape how we define normal. Stories continue to teach us what we can and cannot do and what we should and should not do. Stories define status quo.

So, why am I telling you this?

Because sometimes the stories that we listen to hold us back from activating the greatest version of ourselves.

For example, there’s a story I’m sure you’ve heard of before that involves a guy named Icarus and wax wings. Do you know it?

Perhaps you do, but very likely you only know half of the story because only half of the story continues to be passed down.

The story goes that a father and son are trapped in a prison in a tower and the father creates wings for both of them to fly away. Wax binds the winds to their backs so they can coast out of the window and fly free.

The son, Icarus, is told that he shouldn’t fly too close to the sun for the sun would melt the wax and he’d fall into the ocean, drown, and die. Bummer.

So what does the kid do? Pretty much what any kid with too much energy would do. He has all sorts of fun: twisting, performing aerial acrobatics, feeling the true extent of his freedom. But whoops, he gets a little too carried away and flies too close to the sun and bam, the wax melts off his back and the teen falls to his grim demise to drown in the ocean.

The lesson: Hubris, overbearing pride, leads to arrogance and arrogance leads to a mighty fall. Don’t push yourself too high to the sun lest you melt your own wings.

Pretty good advice, right? It’s definitely a story I’ll share with my children.

But that’s only half the story.

In The Icarus Deception, Seth Godin points out that our culture continues to only share half of the story and only half of the lesson is learned.

We learn not to become pompous and arrogant in our ways, but because it’s not countered with the lesson in the other half of the story, this dampens our sense of what we can do in our lives. This story holds us back from actually achieving remarkable things, what Godin refers to as our art to offer the world.

What’s the rest of the story?

Icarus was also told not to fly too close to the ocean for the waves would lap up, harden the wax on his wings, and he’d fall to the ocean unable to fly away and would drown.

The lesson: Don’t think too low of yourself. Don’t set your bar so low that you suffer the same exact demise as flying too high.

Since reading Godin’s book, I’ve spent the past few years asking my students the story of Icarus in hopes that students would eventually begin telling the whole story and feel comfortable once again with flying closer to the sun.

But alas, that hasn’t happened…yet. One day I know it will, but for now, my students continue to only share half the story. And I continue to see my students afraid to really push themselves out of fear that they will fail.

And yes, failure sucks. Flying too close to the sun (failing) sucks. But flying too close to the ocean sucks just the same. We’re just not sharing this message enough.

I honestly believe that we (yes, you) are capable of far more than we’re taught to believe. In school, perhaps we should be pushing our students to fail more because what better safe space to fail do we have?

In the world of high-stakes testing and a tracking system that sets some students on a rigid path to Ivy League beginning as young as kindergarten, our students are taught not to fail.

But what if failing sometimes signifies that you’re pushing yourself to the limit? That you’re growing your edge? So that tomorrow when you go to the edge, you can walk out a little bit farther.

It’s like this: When your edge grows and my edge grows, we all walk out a whole lot farther.

Just imagine the beautiful view from there. It’s stunning, right?

Here’s to you growing your edge with me.

On this episode, I’d like to talk about playing it safe.

As a teacher, I hear this all the time:

-- I’m going to go to college to get the four year degree

-- I’m going to get my dream job

-- I will be happy

But, I have to admit, while college was so important for my own personal growth, I’m not really sure if a four-year degree is worth it for everybody. Well, at least it’s not worth it anymore to take the safe route.

Why? Well, because quite honestly, I’ve met many former students who went to college for what their parents wanted them to do instead of what they wanted to do and a few years after college, I often hear them talk of enrolling once again in college to get the degree they actually wanted.

Take Brian for example.

The last time I saw Brian, he had just gotten his prom photo taken and ran a 5-minute mile on the school track team. But now, as I looked in front of me stood a grown man with a beard donning a set of nurse scrubs.

“Mr. Guay…is that you?” he said as I carefully adjusted my paper-thin gown that doctors give patients before a physical exam.

“Why yes it is.” I replied with a sheepish grin feeling a bit like a celebrity on one hand and on the other hand making sure my gown covered my buttocks.

“How have you been Brian? You still running these days?” I said.

He shot back a look of surprise.

“You remember me?” he said. “Of course” I replied.

We talked for a few minutes and in that short span of time as Brian took my height and weight before the doctor arrived, he had said what I cringe to hear.

“I’m currently working as a nurse, but thinking of going back to school for business so I can open up a food truck.”

Brian explained to me that he originally went to school for nursing because his parents had said it was the smart thing to do. But he’s bored — really bored — and he feels the calling to follow his inspiration and open up a food truck.

Brian is not alone and unfortunately, I hear this quite a bit. Like Brian, many people leave high school to begin a career or get a degree in something that is safe.

I don’t blame them at all. Growing up in a blue-collar family, I know the feeling of depending on the next paycheck. It’s a terrible feeling. So I get safe.

But playing it safe rarely works out.

So, what holds people back from following their bliss and living inspired? A bit of ancient wisdom may have the answer.

The Four Branches That Hold Us Back

We are a deeply rooted species that is resistant to change say Chip and Dan Heath, two sociologists at Stanford who have devoted their lives to helping make large-scale societal shifts a real thing. Their book Switch changed my life and got me to better understand how to make real large-scale change on the systematic level.

The Heath brothers explain that over time and through generations, we have come to define (and very slowly redefine) the idea of “normal” or “common sense”. This clouds our perception as we go through life and steers us away from any path that isn’t considered safe.

In yoga, we call this Avidya which translates as the film that covers our ability to see clearly. To see clearly, we need to let go of the following:

1. Attachment

Attachment is the tug-o-war between owning things and having them own you. It’s what makes some people need a Rolex to feel successful and others (like some Jains in India) to literally have (or wear) nothing at all to feel content. It’s getting upset when you can’t find that favorite pair of yoga pants and getting upset when someone offers unsolicited criticism. It’s that feeling of disappointment when a dream you held on to for so long is holding you back from living the life that is waiting for you.

Join me in trying this: In meditation or perhaps when you have only a few seconds in the subway commute and are feeling upset, repeat the mantra “Let Go”. On a deep inhale say to yourself “Let” and on the exhale say “Go”.

1. Ego

Like you can’t see the current when in the river, but can easily see the swift moving water when sitting on the shore, ego is there with us as we swim through life. Ego is the wall we put up to separate ourselves from another. It’s the identity crisis that follows losing a job and the reason we stand in line for hour on Black Friday to get the shiny new object for a price we can actually afford. It’s the fancy letters we put before our names to represent a degree and the selfie I took at the gym yesterday. But it’s also feeling guilty when you do have the shiny new objects, the fancy letters, or the bulging biceps.

Join me in trying this: When I feel emotions getting the best of me, I turn inward to my breath and through meditation begin to see ego hiding behind my emotions. When I call out ego, the curtain gets pushed aside and it no longer controls me. The next time you find emotions getting the best of you, ask yourself “Is this my ego talking?”

1. Fear

Fear is doubting our ability to slay the Arthurian dragon that hides the gold. It’s not taking that first step because you don’t feel ready to run a marathon or not joining a yoga studio because you don’t look like a Lululemon model. It’s bundling up our kids so much they look like a fluffy marshmallow when they board the morning school bus. It’s the voice inside our heads that like to say “you can’t do that” and it’s the reason we idolize celebrities as if they were any different than us.

Join me in trying this: Often times, we fear most what we can’t control. So, find something you do have control over that you’re scared of and do something about it. For me, I’m terrified of heights and I can control whether or not I go rock climbing in a safe indoor facility. And boy, you should see me. I shake and quiver as I climb up those rocks and probably look ridiculous. But I’m pushing through fear.

1. Rejection

Rejection is falling off the proverbial horse and not getting back up on it to try again. It’s getting bullied on the playground and taking a new route home to avoid the bullies. It’s appearing on Shark Tank in hopes to land that needed seed funding only to be laughed off the stage with no money in the bank, then never starting up a business again. Simply put, it’s settling for anything less than the greatest version of yourself.

Join me in trying this: Whenever you feel scared to try again, read the biographies of the people you wish to emulate. Like Michael Jordan, Steve Jobs, Albert Einstein, and Thomas Edison, living out the greatest version of oneself always has a not-so-beautiful trail of failures that lead to that one ten-year-overnight success.

So be patient, trust in yourself, and go after whatever it is that is in your heart of hearts.

On this episode, I’d like to share a bit of what we can learn from coincidences. After you get home from your run, get to work, or just have a minute to send a message, send me a message with a story of how a coincidence shaped your life. If you have one that is. Because coincidences...well, they are a seriously interesting dot that happens in life.

My mother and Paulo Coelho would agree: there are no such thing as coincidences.

In fact, Coelho, author of The Alchemist, goes further to say that “coincidence is the language of the stars” and that “when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it.”

Let me share a quick story.

A few days ago, I sat there listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer’s memoir on audiobook. Read by Dyer himself, he shares the personal stories that have evolved him as a being.

A few particular poignant moments were the times at which Dyer stood up against injustice: once as a 3rd grader and another time as a U.S. Navy soldier.

It got me thinking about how I sized up to Dyer’s noble record. I thought about times in my life where I was more of a wallflower than an activist, like the time where a racial slur was said at the dinner table and I didn’t call out a man’s ignorance because I didn’t want to upset the dinner host.

A bit hard on myself, I got in the car to pick up lunch.

There, at the deli, I "coincidentally" bumped into a former student of mine. He approached me at the deli and said, “Hey Mr. Guay, can I ask you a question…” to which I replied “Of course, but call me ‘Mark'."

He told me about a new college class of his. There’s a classmate whose gender is ambiguous and his professor apparently makes jokes about whether to call the classmate “he” or “she”.

My former student sits in class steaming with anger, unsure of what to do. So he asked me.

“What would you do in this situation Mr. G…I mean Mark?” he said.

And I laughed. I thought about how just thirty minutes earlier I was thinking about similar times in my life where I had a similar crossroad.

I talked him through a few hypotheticals and offered what I thought to be good advice for him to make up his own mind about what to do.

He thanked me and walked away and told me he’d keep me posted about the outcome.

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I have no doubt that this "coincidence" was meant for a reason. I do not know the reason nor may I ever, but that doesn’t shake my confidence in the causality of this meeting.

There have been many what appeared to be random coincidences that led to beautiful miracles in my life:

* Making a last minute random decision to enroll in a BFA Acting program and philosophy class, both of which led me sitting next to my now wife, Kaitlyn.

* Feeling extremely burnt out from teaching and thinking of quitting then getting a letter from a former student telling me how my positive outlook on life stopped her from putting a knife to her wrist.

* Reading Jean Kilbourne’s research on gender identities in college, interviewing her ten years later as a journalist, and then randomly introducing Jean to someone I just met which led to her being a guest of honor at Omega Institute.

And of course there are many yet "coincidences" in life that have yet to appear less than coincidental. But that’s okay. I don’t need to know the ripple effect of all of these events.

Because that’s not the point.

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What about you? When have there been moments in your life where what seemed to be coincidences turned into beautiful miracles?