Tuni Deignan spent most of her life using a whole host of coping mechanisms to avoid facing the trauma of her childhood: a sexually abusive father and a mother who seemed helpless to stop him. But when a bike accident rendered her immobile and independent on narcotics at age of fifty-five, she finally sat down to unwind and understand the circus of her life; a journey that led her to a place of understanding, peace, and even joy. Ultimately, it took her decades of dancing, hiding, faking, having sex, costuming, implanting, dissociating, marrying, divorcing, and purging—all while staying silent about her past trauma—before a bike accident at age fifty-five forced her to stop and truly take stock of her life.