Your Strong Relationship

By Adai Ad

EMPOWERING COUPLES. ENRICHING RELATIONSHIPS.

Adai Ad means ‘successfully lasting’ in Hebrew; thus, an Adai Ad relationship is one that is successfully lasting, where all in the family thrive.

Here, w... more

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FAQs about Your Strong Relationship:

How many episodes does Your Strong Relationship have?

The podcast currently has 59 episodes available.

Your Strong Relationship episodes:

March 31, 202250: How to stay connected with your husband over Pesach
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Hindi Kalmenson of Relationshift about effective mindsets for staying connected with your husband through the busyness, joys and stress of Pesach. In this talk, Hindi shares several very practical applications of the mashpia-mekabel dynamic. How to really receive what your husband is contributing to you and the family. We also talk about how to have conversations about what you each want for the Pesach experience, how to work out when there are differences of perspectives, and how to share responsibilities.
www.adaiad.org
www.createrelationshift.com
0:00 Introduction

1:21 How to start preparing and thinking about Pesach.

5:10 Think about what you want from this Pesach.

9:20 How to plan together for a meaningful Pesach.

15:25 When you have different ideas for Pesach.

20:00 When your husband brings up an idea that you find difficult.

30:10 Talking about sharing responsibilities for preparing for Pesach.

34:10 Receive what your husband is offering to you.

39:28 Help your husband know what and how you want to receive.

46:30 Don't hint at it, be vulnerable to express your desire.

49:30 Know your stressors and what will help you destress.

53:10 Wrap up
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58min
March 29, 202249: Preparing for your role as wife (from "Marriage readiness" series)
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Reb. Malki Spira, LMHC and Ruchama Clapman of MASK about how to prepare for your successful marriage - in the time before marriage.
Introduction

Preparing now for your marriage relationship.

The role of the wife has been transformed and this impacts expectations of marriage.

Unrealistic expectations directly impacts happiness.

In every marriage, there will be many unreconcilable differences.

Notice your expectations about marriage.

It is important that those differences don’t turn into gridlock (fighting or withdrawing).

About being mevater (relinquish needs/ wants) in marriage. Dos and don’ts.

How you handle the problems is more important than what the problems are.

There really isn’t a perfect person out there who can fulfill all your needs.

Strengthening the tools and mindsets for your marriage.

Commitment is integral for marriage to feel safe enough to be vulnerable.

You are two parts of one whole. What to do for your husband.

Q: What can we do in the time before marriage to develop these skills?

Wrap up
...more
53min
March 22, 202248: How Trauma Impacts Marriage (from "Marriage readiness" series)
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Yehuda (Hudi) Kowalsky, LMHC and Ruchama Clapman of MASK about how past trauma can impact your future relationship and what you can do to set yourself up for success.
Introduction

What is 'trauma'? How does someone know if they still have the trauma 'in them'?

In what ways does trauma impact relationships?

What if you function well, do you still need to specifically address the trauma?

How does someone know if they worked through the trauma enough for marriage?

If someone had a trauma, should they check in with a professional?

What type of therapy modalities be called for trauma?

How intergenerational trauma can impact someone.

Talking about the trauma of sexual abuse.

How to share about a trauma on a date.

Q: Does 12 Steps help with working through trauma?

Q: Dealing with the trauma of their own divorce.

People grow and thrive because of a trauma.

Q: Trauma around religion. 56:21 Final thoughts.
...more
1h 1min
March 07, 202247: Five Secrets of Effective Communication in your marriage
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Sara Gita Soble of Mindshift about effective communication in marriage. It's much more than words - it is a mindset.
www.adaiad.org
www.createrelationshift.com
0:00 About this talk

3:18 Why do people communicate?

5:00 Where do people get stuck in their communication?

6:25 Communication is more than a set of tools.

7:21 It’s all about the mindset under the communication.

9:05 1. Create space 2. Find value.

13:11 Find the value in the other’s ideas.

14:14 Have genuine curiosity.

18:00 Assume there is value and then find it.

28:21 When there is respect, you can find wonderful solutions together.

29:13 What to do when values conflict.

32:56 In an environment of respect and safety, creativity can flow.

33:45 The 5 secrets of effective communication.

38:07 You don’t need to ever get to being on the same page.

41:18 Move from ‘your way’ and ‘my way’ to a third way.

47:08 We don’t need to control the whole situation.

47:48 Recap of the 5 secrets.

50:21 Wrap up
...more
52min
February 15, 202245: Now is the time to build your financial future. (for Newly Married)
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Dovid Lieblich, CFP, EA about what newly married should know about building their financial future.
(slides and other related resources www.adaiad.org/financial-future)
Introduction

About Dovid Lieblich and his story

Newly marrieds have the best opportunity to forge a path for financial success

It's not about how much you make, it's how you use your money (costs of living)

"Pay yourself first". Save first then budget your expenses.

How much to save

Saving for retirement (even in your 20s!)

Emergency fund

Saving for something specific (ex: trip, Bar Mitzvah)

Have separate accounts

Budgets/ spending plans (use debit cards, pay credit card weekly)

Understanding credit cards

"Get rich quick" schemes are very risky

Mistakes young people make

Life insurance

Questions answered (more about credit cards/ credit reports)

Savings accounts vs Bonds

Paying taxes before maaser, before saving

How to contact Dovid

Traditional IRA and Roth IRA

Quick overview of investing

Final Thoughts
...more
1h 15min
February 08, 202244: What is Couples Therapy really like?
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Rivka Krumholz, LMFT, Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, DHL and Ruchama Clapman of MASK about what is couples therapy all about.
Introductions of panelists

About MASK

What is Couples Therapy? What are the benefits?

It is the Relationship that is the client, not the two people.

Why do people delay going to therapy?

Is money a deterrent? (Is it a priority issue?)

Your relationship impacts your thinking, decisions (at work, etc.)

What is the experience in the therapy room?

What are typical issues addressed in couples therapy? What is contraindicated for couples therapy?

What if one spouse doesn't want to go to therapy?

The different types of modalities of couples therapy? When to know what type of therapy is best for the situation? How to choose a therapist?

About the therapist's credentials and specializations - which is best?

What if one spouse is dealing with trauma, does that need individual therapy in addition to couples therapy?

About what to do between sessions.

Can one of the couple meet with the therapist in individual session, privately?

Addictions and couple's therapy

Does the gender of the therapist matter?

Rabbanim/ rebetzins can work with the therapist and the therapy process.

How many sessions is typical? When to end therapy?

"We are married 13+ years, is it too late to have a happy marriage?" It's never too late.
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1h 7min
January 19, 202243: Am I Ready for Marriage? (from "Marriage readiness" series)
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Dr. Debbie Akerman and Ruchama Clapman of MASK about important aspects of marriage readiness.
Welcome
Triangular Theory of Love: 1. Working together 2. Intimacy 3. Commitment
How does age consider into marriage readiness?
What does ‘giving’ mean in a marriage?
How to tell a person’s character?
Self-reflection: Look at life in the sum total.
It’s a good thing if the dates get stressed.
Try to see each other in different circumstances/ real life.
Difference between giving and co-dependency.
How ‘full’ do I have to be ready for marriage?
What are traits that are not compatible with healthy marriage?
Readiness after a difficult childhood or trauma?
It is not enough to know what you don’t want to do in your marriage.
If you are making a shift in your life, how long should you be settled into that new life before marriage?
Conflict theory: How do you have conflict?
Getting married after (or with) addiction. Honesty about addiction.
Do I have to share about my pornography addiction or experimentation?
What is considered an addiction? It is possible to be successfully married to a recovering addict.
What is the definition of co-dependency?
How does the concept of ‘ego’ work in a marriage?
How to address the pressure to get married? How do I know if I am ready to be married?
Can an anxious person get married? Yes.
Nobody will marry perfection. Accepting a person on their terms.
Dealing with trust issues.
How to pick a therapist that is right for you?
...more
1h 9min
June 22, 202142: Supporting your husband's work for parnassah (from Money & Shalom Bayis series)
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Yael Trusch about supporting your husband's work for parnassah.
www.adaiad.org/money-shalom
0:00 Introduction

3:19 What is supportive (and what is not)

6:38 Focusing on what we do have, not what we don’t have

9:34 When trust in Hashem, it impacts your attitude and trust in your husband

13:13 How to show your husband appreciation and support

15:24 Hashem has other ways to get you the things you need. It doesn’t have to be through parnassah.

16:55 Highlight his positive talents

22:15 Show gratitude for him as a person

24:18 Q: How to bring up ideas to him?

27:47 Q: Should I ‘let him see that we don’t have enough money’ to motivate him?

30:50 Q: Better for him to provide, or for both of us?

33:00 Q: What do I do when I think my husband’s ideas won’t work out?

35:15 Q: How can I encourage him as he asks for a raise?

39:44 Q: My husband doesn’t want to spend money to make money. Help!

41:48 Q: My husband’s business is closing. How can I support him?

45:41 Q: Will telling him about my dreams motivate him to work harder for parnassah?

48:06 Q: Is it helpful or motivating to let him know how worried I am?

49:00 Q: As newlyweds, how can we get on track right in the beginning?

53:00 Q: My husband spends too much time at work. Help!

55:10 Q: Can I ask my husband how much a gift cost him?

57:11 Final thoughts
...more
59min
June 21, 202141: Don't let money become a fight (from Money & Shalom Bayis series)
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Yael Trusch about communicating about money.
www.adaiad.org/money-shalom
0:00 Introduction.

3:04 Negative effects about fighting about money.

8:02 Conversation about money shows you about your values.

10:15 Date Night to discuss topics around money.

18:06 What are typical money stressors.

22:56 Being the higher earner doesn’t mean more power or control.

27:25 Budgets cannot be made unilaterally. It is about mutuality and transparency.

29:05 Have a discretionary fund that each can spend on without having to report.

31:00 Set ground rules about large purchases.

33:42 What if my spouse doesn’t want to have such conversations?

42:15 Q: She came into the marriage with debt and she is feeling resentful.

45:09 Q: I want to spend money on something, my spouse doesn’t agree it is important.

48:44 Q: Professionals who can help with money.

51:09 Q: Who to save for surprise gift for spouse.

55:33 Q: I want to stop working to be home with the kids, how to bring it up.

58:40 Final thoughts.
...more
1h 4min
June 17, 2021 40: Creating your Relationship Vision
Devora Krasnianski of Adai Ad talks with Rabbi Pinney and Helana Herman about Creating your Relationship Vision. This talk also covers some key points of the Imago Dialog and other tools.
http://adaiad.org/herman-vision for worksheets and other resources mentioned in the talk
contact Helana Herman [email protected]
...more
40min

FAQs about Your Strong Relationship:

How many episodes does Your Strong Relationship have?

The podcast currently has 59 episodes available.