Good day, today’s podcast is
“Ways to Help You Release Sorrow and Grief.
I have been a United Church of
Canada Minister for over 35 years and I have ministry in many churches. I have
seen Grief and loss take on many forms. Grief is a natural response to loss.
It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is
taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience
all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to
disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your
physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight.
These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more
intense your grief will be.
Coping
with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s largest
challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved
one—which
is often the cause of the most intense type of grief—but any loss can cause
grief, including:
Termination from a job, company closing, serious illness,
divorce or break-up of a relationship, financial stability, a miscarriage,
retirement, death of a pet, loss of a friendship, loss of a dream, loss of
safety after trauma, selling the family home, and so on so forth.
Even
subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, you might
grieve after moving away from home, children changing schools, graduating from
college, or changing jobs.
Whatever
your loss, it's personal to you, so don't feel ashamed about how you feel, or
believe that it's somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the
person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it's normal
to grieve the loss you're experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief,
though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain, in time, can ease your
sadness and help yourself come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and
eventually move on with your life.
It can appear when you least expect it, such as when you
finally think you’ve processed what has happened. At other times, it may feel
heavy, like a crushing weight you can’t quite crawl out from under. Many of us
have been taught not to cry in north American culture especially males as it is
a sign of weakness.
In fact, processing grief can take significant time and
various rituals. Some even say we don’t actually process grief but merely get
used to it. However, we can practice ways to let go and accept our emotions.
Whether you’ve lost a loved one or are facing the end of a
relationship, the hurt exists.
It’s real. For some time, we may feel as though we need to
hold onto it for fear of more loss and hurt. So, when you’re ready to let go
and move forward, use the following ways to release sorrow and grief, making
room for new and happier emotions to enter your life once again.
We
carry grief and sorrow within our energy fields and our bodies. The two place
of sadness is carried in the heart chakra or top part of the breast bone.
Another area where emotions of grief and sadness is in our abdominal area.
Stomach aches, loss of appetite, lungs (grief), upper back and heart, chest and
the throat. Trapped emotions can cause many sensations in the body. For
difficult emotions, this could include:
·
muscle tension or tightness
·
a feeling of heaviness or tiredness
·
a “lump” or choking sensation in the throat
·
aching or pain
·
nausea or “knots” in the stomach
Here are some practical methods
to try in assisting you in your grief and sadness.
1.
Write a
Letter.
This could be to your ex or to the one who is gone. This can
offer a safe and private space to pour out your emotions. Take your time. Write
anything that comes to mind, whether that includes regrets or the unknown of
how to move forward without them.
You can even use this space to write what you appreciated
about them being in your life, leaning into a bit of positivity if it feels
right.
2. Bury It (Literally, Not Figuratively).
Okay, this may feel a little “woo-woo.” Yet, this practice
offers a symbolic way to let go.
• Grab an item or your
letter.
• Find a place amongst
nature.
• Now, dig a small but
shallow hole in the ground.
• Place your item or
letter (just make sure it’s environmentally friendly) in the hole.
Here, you can choose to say a few words, such as, “I’ve
carried this weight for too long and am ready to let it go. I’m ready to allow
Mother Nature to use this energy for growth.”
Then, either burn the item (if this is allowed and safe!). Or
bury it.
3. Give Yourself Permission to Feel.
Many of us try to fight our emotions, especially when they
are negative.
What if this time, you gave yourself permission to feel it?
What if you allowed yourself to cry until you couldn’t anymore?
Surprisingly, this can be very cleansing, offering some
release and some reprieve from the heavy weight of loss and grief you might be
feeling.
Providing yourself with some compassion and letting yourself
feel the emotions so you can heal them may offer you a path forward and a way
to move on.
4. Be Patient.
Time is your friend here. While we can’t change the past, we
can learn to that as time goes on, we may feel better and that practicing
patience with ourselves is the best way to go. Pain can be healthy. And healthy
pain means allowing the emotions to come up as time goes on and not suppressing
them.
5. Say Goodbye.
Whether you had a chance or not, maybe closure wasn’t there.
Or perhaps the time didn’t allow for a proper farewell. Or
maybe you just wanted more time; so much was left unsaid.
While funerals offer a public place to say goodbye, you can
also do it in your own time. Writing a letter, as per the above, can be very
healing. Additionally, just spending time talking to the person from your heart
when you’re alone can be very healing.
Imagine them standing in front of you.
• What would you say?
• What are you wanting
them to know?
• What would make you
feel even slightly better being able to express to them?
While you do this, you may want to light a candle or incense,
making it a more formal and personal farewell.
6. Create a Memory Box.
This provides somewhere you can go when you’re really missing
your loved one.
A memory box might include a simple shoebox filled with small
items that are sentimental to you or remind you of them. This can help you feel
closer to them when you’re struggling. It can provide space for you to talk
with them still, even though they aren’t there.
7. Plant Something in Their Honor.
Seriously! Where there has been loss, give life.
This might mean planting a new tree or annual plant to
signify the circle of life and honor the one lost. It can also provide a place
where you can visit and think about your memories together.
8.
I honor both my parents on special occasions, such as: birthdays and
anniversary, Christmas and Easter, Mother’s and Father’s Day. There are times
we even set a place for them at the table, knowing that their spirit is
welcome.
Here are some Re-Energizing Technique you can do:
I often place my hands just above my breast and softly rub in
a clockwise direction. I think of my friends, family members that have died and
the flood of joyous memories that come to me. This is a way of releasing the heavy
energy you hold within you heart and sacral charkas.
Donna Eden says by putting two a couple of fingers under your thymus
bone you will be able to relieve your anxiety and your grief by rubbing these
two points on each side. Gentle rake your lungs with your fingers across the
top above your chest, pulling the heavy energy off and allowing you to breath
easier.
Meditations – I use the Honest Guys on YouTube of “Letting Go” for
releasing grief emotions. There are other free meditations on YouTube that you
can use for meditation.
Most Important: Know That Grief is Okay to Feel
It’s a completely natural response to loss, whether that loss
was by choice or not.
The truth is, grief can feel overwhelming, making us want to
push it away.
However, this often only makes it more pronounced, echoing in
other parts of our lives or actions. Instead, feeling our way through is the
best way to heal and as we gradually begin to feel like ourselves again.
