He placed apicture on the easel, and let me look at it for a minute or two; then took itdown and put another in its place. I think he showed me about thirty canvases.It was the result of the six years during which he had been painting. He hadnever sold a picture. The canvases were of different sizes. The smaller werepictures of still-life and the largest were landscapes. There were about half adozen portraits.

"That isthe lot, " he said at last.

I wish I couldsay that I recognised at once their beauty and their great originality. Nowthat I have seen many of them again and the rest are familiar to me inreproductions, I am astonished that at first sight I was bitterly disappointed.I felt nothing of the peculiar thrill which it is the property of art to give.The impression that Strickland's pictures gave me was disconcerting; and thefact remains, always to reproach me, that I never even thought of buying any. Imissed a wonderful chance. Most of them have found their way into museums, andthe rest are the treasured possessions of wealthy amateurs. I try to findexcuses for myself. I think that my taste is good, but I am conscious that ithas no originality. I know very little about painting, and I wander alongtrails that others have blazed for me. At that time I had the greatestadmiration for the impressionists. I longed to possess a Sisley and a Degas,and I worshipped Manet. His Olympia seemed to me the greatest picture of moderntimes, and Le Dejeuner sur l'Herbe moved me profoundly. These works seemed tome the last word in painting.

他把一幅画放在画架上，叫我看一两分钟，然后取下来再放上另一张。我估计他一共给我看了三十来张。这是他作画以来六年的成绩。他一张也没有出售。画幅小一些的是静物，最大的是风景。有半打左右是人物、肖像。

“就是这些，”最后他说。

我真希望当时我就能看出这些画如何美、具有如何伟大的独创的风格。这些画里面有许多幅我后来又有机会重新欣赏过，另外一些通过复制品我也非常熟悉了；我真有些奇怪，当我初次看画的时候，为什么居然感到非常失望。我当时丝毫也没有感到艺术品本应该给我的那种奇异的激动。我看到思特里克兰德的绘画，只有一种惶惑不安的感觉；实际上，我当时根本没有想到要购买一幅，这是我永远不能原谅自己的。我真是失去了一个大好的机会。这些画大多数后来都被博物院收买去了，其余的则成为有钱的艺术爱好者的珍藏品。我努力给自己找一些辩解。我认为我还是有鉴赏力的，只不过我认识到自己缺少创见。我对于绘画了解得不多，我只是沿着别人替我开辟的路径走下去。当时我最佩服的是印象派画家，渴望弄到一张西斯莱①或德加②的作品，另外，我对马奈也非常崇拜，他的那幅《奥林庇亚》我觉得是当代最伟大的绘画，《草地上的早餐》也使我非常感动。我认为在当代绘画中再也没有别的作品能超过这几幅画了。

①阿尔弗雷德。西斯莱（1839—1899），法国画家。

②埃德迦。德加（1834—1917），法国画家。

I did not knowwhy Strickland had suddenly offered to show them to me. I welcomed theopportunity. A man's work reveals him. In social intercourse he gives you thesurface that he wishes the world to accept, and you can only gain a trueknowledge of him by inferences from little actions, of which he is unconscious,and from fleeting expressions, which cross his face unknown to him. Sometimespeople carry to such perfection the mask they have assumed that in due coursethey actually become the person they seem. But in his book or his picture thereal man delivers himself defenceless. His pretentiousness will only expose hisvacuity. The lathe painted to look like iron is seen to be but a lathe. Noaffectation of peculiarity can conceal a commonplace mind. To the acuteobserver no one can produce the most casual work without disclosing theinnermost secrets of his soul.

As I walked upthe endless stairs of the house in which Strickland lived, I confess that I wasa little excited. It seemed to me that I was on the threshold of a surprisingadventure. I looked about the room with curiosity. It was even smaller and morebare than I remembered it. I wondered what those friends of mine would say whodemanded vast studios, and vowed they could not work unless all the conditionswere to their liking.

"You'dbetter stand there, " he said, pointing to a spot from which, presumably,he fancied I could see to best advantage what he had to show me.

"You don'twant me to talk, I suppose, " I said.

"No, blastyou; I want you to hold your tongue. "

我不知道为什么思特里克兰德突然主动提出来要让我看他的画，但是对这样一个机会我是非常欢迎的。作品最能泄露一个人的真实思想和感情。在交际应酬中，一个人只让你看到他希望别人接受他的一些表面现象，你只能借助他无意中作出的一些小动作，借助不知不觉中掠过他脸上的一些表情对他作出正确的了解。有些时候，人们把一副假面装得逼真，时间久了，他们真会变成他们装扮的这样一个人了。但是在他写的书、画的画里面，他却毫无防范地把自己显露出来。如果他作势唬人，那只能暴露出他的空虚。他那些涂了油漆冒充铁板的木条还会看出来只不过是木条。假充具有独特的个性无法掩盖平凡庸俗的性格。对于一个目光敏锐的观察者，即使一个人信笔一挥的作品也完全可以泄露他灵魂深处的隐秘。

我必须承认，当我走上思特里克兰德住处的无穷无尽的楼梯时，我感到有一些兴奋。我似乎马上就要步入一场奇异的冒险。我好奇地环顾了一下他的小屋子。这间屋子好象比我记忆中的更小、家具什物也更少了。我有些朋友总需要宽大的画室，坚持要条件必备才能作画，我倒想知道他们对这间画室作何感想。

“你最好站在这儿，”他指着一块地方说，他可能认为在他把画拿给我看的时候，这是一个最适合观赏的角度。

“我想你不愿意我说话吧，”我说。

“这还用问，他妈的。我要你闭住你的嘴巴。”

"Is itpossible for any man to disregard others entirely?" I said, though more tomyself than to him. "You're dependent on others for everything inexistence. It's a preposterous attempt to try to live only for yourself and byyourself. Sooner or later you'll be ill and tired and old, and then you'llcrawl back into the herd. Won't you be ashamed when you feel in your heart thedesire for comfort and sympathy? You're trying an impossible thing. Sooner orlater the human being in you will yearn for the common bonds of humanity. "

"Come andlook at my pictures. "

"Have youever thought of death?"

"Whyshould I? It doesn't matter. "

I stared athim. He stood before me, motionless, with a mocking smile in his eyes; but forall that, for a moment I had an inkling of a fiery, tortured spirit, aiming atsomething greater than could be conceived by anything that was bound up withthe flesh. I had a fleeting glimpse of a pursuit of the ineffable. I looked atthe man before me in his shabby clothes, with his great nose and shining eyes,his red beard and untidy hair; and I had a strange sensation that it was onlyan envelope, and I was in the presence of a disembodied spirit.

"Let us goand look at your pictures, " I said.

“一个人可能完全不理会别人吗？”我说，与其说是问他还不如说是问我自己，“生活中无论什么事都和别人息息相关，要想只为自己、孤零零地一个人活下去是个十分荒谬的想法。早晚有一天你会生病，会变得老态龙钟，到那时候你还得爬着回去找你的同伙。当你感到需要别人的安慰和同情的时候，你不羞愧吗？你现在要做的是一件根本不可能的事。你身上的人性早晚会渴望同其他的人建立联系的。”

“去看看我的画吧！”

“你想到过死吗？”

“何必想到死？死有什么关系？”

我凝望着他。他一动不动地站在我面前，眼睛里闪着讥嘲的笑容。但是尽管他脸上是这种神情，一瞬间我好象还是看到一个受折磨的、炽热的灵魂正在追逐某种远非血肉之躯所能想象的伟大的东西。我瞥见的是对某种无法描述的事物的热烈追求。我凝视着站在我面前的这个人，衣服褴褛，生着一个大鼻子和炯炯发光的眼睛，火红的胡须，蓬乱的头发。我有一个奇怪的感觉，这一切只不过是个外壳，我真正看到的是一个脱离了躯体的灵魂。

“好吧，去看看你的画吧。”我说。

Strickland hadfound his hat, and stood looking at me.

"Are youcoming?"

"Why doyou seek my acquaintance?" I asked him. "You know that I hate anddespise you. "

He chuckledgood-humouredly.

"Your onlyquarrel with me really is that I don't care a twopenny damn what you thinkabout me. "

I felt mycheeks grow red with sudden anger. It was impossible to make him understandthat one might be outraged by his callous selfishness. I longed to pierce hisarmour of complete indifference. I knew also that in the end there was truth inwhat he said. Unconsciously, perhaps, we treasure the power we have over peopleby their regard for our opinion of them, and we hate those upon whom we have nosuch influence. I suppose it is the bitterest wound to human pride. But I wouldnot let him see that I was put out.

思特里克兰德拿起了帽子，站在那里看着我。

“你来吗？”

“你为什么要同我来往？”我问他，“你知道我讨厌你，鄙视你。”

他咯咯地笑了笑，一点也没有恼怒。

“你同我吵嘴，实际上是因为我根本不在乎你对我的看法。”

我感到自己的面颊气得通红。你根本无法使他了解，他的冷酷、自私能叫人气得火冒三丈。我恨不得一下子刺穿了他那副冷漠的甲胄。但是我也知道，归根结底，他的话也不无道理。虽然我们没有明确意识到，说不定我们还是非常重视别人看重不看重我们的意见、我们在别人身上是否有影响力的；如果我们对一个人的看法受到他的重视，我们就沾沾自喜，如果他对这种意见丝毫也不理会，我们就讨厌他。我想这就是自尊心中最厉害的创伤。但是我并不想叫思特里克兰德看出我这种气恼。

"It may bea lack of sympathy in myself if it does not make any great difference to methat she is dead. Life had a great deal to offer her. I think it's terriblethat she should have been deprived of it in that cruel way, and I am ashamedbecause I do not really care. "

"You havenot the courage of your convictions. Life has no value. Blanche Stroeve didn'tcommit suicide because I left her, but because she was a foolish and unbalancedwoman. But we've talked about her quite enough; she was an entirely unimportantperson. Come, and I'll show you my pictures. "

He spoke asthough I were a child that needed to be distracted. I was sore, but not withhim so much as with myself. I thought of the happy life that pair had led inthe cosy studio in Montmartre, Stroeve and his wife, their simplicity,kindness, and hospitality; it seemed to me cruel that it should have beenbroken to pieces by a ruthless chance; but the cruellest thing of all was thatin fact it made no great difference. The world went on, and no one was a pennythe worse for all that wretchedness. I had an idea that Dirk, a man of greateremotional reactions than depth of feeling, would soon forget; and Blanche'slife, begun with who knows what bright hopes and what dreams, might just aswell have never been lived. It all seemed useless and inane.

“如果说她死了对我一点儿也无所谓，那我也未免太没有人心了。生活能够给她的东西很多，她这样残酷地被剥夺去生命，我认为是一件非常可怕的事。但是我也觉得很惭愧，因为说实在的，我并不太关心。”

“你没有勇气坦白承认你真正的思想。生命并没有什么价值。勃朗什·施特略夫自杀并不是因为我抛弃了她，而是因为她太傻，因为她精神不健全。但是咱们谈论她已经够多的了，她实在是个一点也不重要的角色。来吧，我让你看看我的画。”

他说话的样子，倒好象我是个小孩子，需要他把我的精神岔开似的。我气得要命，但与其说是对他倒不如说对我自己。我回想起这一对夫妻——施特略夫同他的妻子，在蒙特玛特尔区一间舒适的画室中过的幸福生活，他们两人淳朴、善良、殷勤好客，这种生活竟由于一件无情的偶然事件被打得粉碎，我觉得这真是非常残忍的；但是最最残忍的还是，这件事对别人并没有什么影响。人们继续生活下去，谁也没有因为这个悲剧而活得更糟。我猜想，就连戴尔克不久也会把这件事遗忘，因为尽管他反应强烈，一时悲恸欲绝，感情却没有深度。至于勃朗什自己，不论她最初步入生活时曾怀有何等美妙的希望与梦想，死了以后，同她根本没有降临人世又有什么两样？一切都是空虚的，没有意义的。

"When awoman loves you she's not satisfied until she possesses your soul. Becauseshe's weak, she has a rage for domination, and nothing less will satisfy her.She has a small mind, and she resents the abstract which she is unable tograsp. She is occupied with material things, and she is jealous of the ideal.The soul of man wanders through the uttermost regions of the universe, and sheseeks to imprison it in the circle of her account-book. Do you remember mywife? I saw Blanche little by little trying all her tricks. With infinitepatience she prepared to snare me and bind me. She wanted to bring me down toher level; she cared nothing for me, she only wanted me to be hers. She waswilling to do everything in the world for me except the one thing I wanted: toleave me alone. "

I was silentfor a while.

"What didyou expect her to do when you left her?"

"She couldhave gone back to Stroeve, " he said irritably. "He was ready to takeher. "

"You'reinhuman, " I answered. "It's as useless to talk to you about thesethings as to describe colours to a man who was born blind. "

He stopped infront of my chair, and stood looking down at me with an expression in which Iread a contemptuous amazement.

"Do youreally care a twopenny damn if Blanche Stroeve is alive or dead?"

I thought overhis question, for I wanted to answer it truthfully, at all events to my soul.

“要是一个女人爱上了你，除非连你的灵魂也叫她占有了，她是不会感到满足的。因为女人是软弱的，所以她们具有非常强烈的统治欲，不把你完全控制在手就不甘心。女人的心胸狭窄，对那些她理解不了的抽象东西非常反感。她们满脑子想的都是物质的东西，所以对于精神和理想非常妒忌。男人的灵魂在宇宙的最遥远的地方邀游，女人却想把它禁锢在家庭收支的账簿里。你还记得我的妻子吗？我发觉勃朗什一点一点地施展起我妻子的那些小把戏来。她以无限的耐心准备把我网罗住，捆住我的手脚。她要把我拉到她那个水平上；她对我这个人一点也不关心，唯一想的是叫我依附于她。为了我，世界上任何事情她都愿意做，只有一件事除外：不来打搅我。”

我沉默了一会儿。

“你离开她以后想到她要做什么吗？”

“她满可以回到施特略夫身边去的，”他气冲冲地说，“施特略夫巴不得她回去的。”

“你不通人性，”我回答说。“同你谈这些事一点用也没有，就象跟瞎子形容颜色一样。”

他在我的椅子前边站住，低下头来望着我；我看出来他脸上的表情满含轻蔑，又充满了惊诧。

“勃朗什·施特略夫活着也好，死了也好，难道你真的那么关心吗？”

我想了想他提出的这个问题，因为我想真实地回答，无论如何一定要是我的真实思想。

"I don'twant love. I haven't time for it. It's weakness. I am a man, and sometimes Iwant a woman. When I've satisfied my passion I'm ready for other things. Ican't overcome my desire, but I hate it; it imprisons my spirit; I look forwardto the time when I shall be free from all desire and can give myself withouthindrance to my work. Because women can do nothing except love, they've givenit a ridiculous importance. They want to persuade us that it's the whole oflife. It's an insignificant part. I know lust. That's normal and healthy. Loveis a disease. Women are the instruments of my pleasure; I have no patience withtheir claim to be helpmates, partners, companions. "

I had neverheard Strickland speak so much at one time. He spoke with a passion ofindignation. But neither here nor elsewhere do I pretend to give his exactwords; his vocabulary was small, and he had no gift for framing sentences, sothat one had to piece his meaning together out of interjections, the expressionof his face, gestures and hackneyed phrases.

"Youshould have lived at a time when women were chattels and men the masters ofslaves, " I said.

"It justhappens that I am a completely normal man. "

I could nothelp laughing at this remark, made in all seriousness; but he went on, walkingup and down the room like a caged beast, intent on expressing what he felt, butfound such difficulty in putting coherently.

“我不需要爱情。我没有时间搞恋爱。这是人性的一个弱点。我是个男人，有时候我需要一个女性。但是一旦我的情欲得到了满足，我就准备做别的事了。我无法克服自己的欲望，我恨它，它囚禁着我的精神。我希望将来能有一天，我会不再受欲望的支配，不再受任何阻碍地全心投到我的工作上去。因为女人除了谈情说爱不会干别的，所以她们把爱情看得非常重要，简直到了可笑的地步。她们还想说服我们，叫我们也相信人的全部生活就是爱情。实际上爱情是生活中无足轻重的一部分。我只懂得情欲。这是正常的，健康的。爱情是一种疾病。女人是我享乐的工具，我对她们提出什么事业的助手、生活的侣伴这些要求非常讨厌。”

思特里克兰德从来没有对我一次讲这么多话。他说话的时候带着一肚子的怒气。但是不论是这里或是在其他地方，我都不想把我写下来的假充为他的原话。思特里克兰德的词汇量很少，也没有组织句子的能力，所以一定得把他的惊叹词、他的面部表情、他的手势同一些平凡陈腐的词句串联起来才能弄清楚他的意思。

“你应该生活在妇女是奴隶、男人是奴隶主的时代。”我说。

“偏偏我生来是一个完全正常的男人。”

他一本正经地说了这么一句话，不由得又使我笑起来。他却毫不在意地只顾说下去，一边在屋子里走来走去。但是尽管他全神贯注地努力想把自己感觉到的表达出来，却总是辞不达意。

He gave asudden flash of anger.

"Damn itall, I wanted her. "

But herecovered his temper immediately, and looked at me with a smile.

"At firstshe was horrified. "

"Did youtell her?"

"Therewasn't any need. She knew. I never said a word. She was frightened. At last Itook her. "

I do not knowwhat there was in the way he told me this that extraordinarily suggested theviolence of his desire. It was disconcerting and rather horrible. His life wasstrangely divorced from material things, and it was as though his body at timeswreaked a fearful revenge on his spirit. The satyr in him suddenly tookpossession, and he was powerless in the grip of an instinct which had all thestrength of the primitive forces of nature. It was an obsession so completethat there was no room in his soul for prudence or gratitude.

"But whydid you want to take her away with you?" I asked.

"I didn't," he answered, frowning. "When she said she was coming I was nearlyas surprised as Stroeve. I told her that when I'd had enough of her she'd haveto go, and she said she'd risk that. " He paused a little. "She had awonderful body, and I wanted to paint a nude. When I'd finished my picture Itook no more interest in her. "

"And sheloved you with all her heart. "

He sprang tohis feet and walked up and down the small room.

他突然一阵怒火上撞。

“去他妈的，我需要她。”

但是他马上就不生气了，望着我，微微一笑。

“开始的时候她简直吓坏了。”

“你对她说明了吗？”

“不需要。她知道。我一直没有说一句。她非常害怕。最后我得到了她。”

在他给我讲这件事的语气里，我不知道有一种什么东西，非常奇特地表示出他当时的强烈的欲望。它令人感到惊措不安，或者甚至可以说非常恐怖。他平日的生活方式很奇特，根本不注意身体的需求。但是有些时候他的肉体却好象要对他的精神进行一次可怕的报复。他内心深处的那个半人半兽的东西把他捉到手里，在这种具有大自然的原始力量的天性的掌心里他完全无能为力。他被牢牢地抓住，什么谨慎啊，感恩啊，在他的灵魂里都一点儿地位也没有了。

“但是你为什么要把她拐走呢？”我问。

“我没有，”他皱了皱眉头说，“当她说她要跟着我的时候，我差不多同施特略夫一样吃惊。我告诉她当我不再需要她的时候，她就非走开不可，她说她愿意冒这个险。”思特里克兰德停了一会。“她的身体非常美，我正需要画一幅裸体画。等我把画画完了以后，我对她也就没有兴趣了。”

“她可是全心地爱着你啊。”

他从座位上跳起来，在我的小屋子里走来走去。

"She was agoverness in the family of some Roman prince, and the son of the house seducedher. She thought he was going to marry her. They turned her out into the streetneck and crop. She was going to have a baby, and she tried to commit suicide.Stroeve found her and married her. "

"It wasjust like him. I never knew anyone with so compassionate a heart. "

I had oftenwondered why that ill-assorted pair had married, but just that explanation hadnever occurred to me. That was perhaps the cause of the peculiar quality ofDirk's love for his wife. I had noticed in it something more than passion. Iremembered also how I had always fancied that her reserve concealed I knew notwhat; but now I saw in it more than the desire to hide a shameful secret. Hertranquillity was like the sullen calm that broods over an island which has beenswept by a hurricane. Her cheerfulness was the cheerfulness of despair.Strickland interrupted my reflections with an observation the profound cynicismof which startled me.

"A womancan forgive a man for the harm he does her, " he said, "but she cannever forgive him for the sacrifices he makes on her account. "

"It mustbe reassuring to you to know that you certainly run no risk of incurring theresentment of the women you come in contact with, " I retorted.

A slight smilebroke on his lips.

"You arealways prepared to sacrifice your principles for a repartee, " heanswered.

"Whathappened to the child?"

"Oh, itwas still-born, three or four months after they were married. "

Then I came tothe question which had seemed to me most puzzling.

"Will youtell me why you bothered about Blanche Stroeve at all?"

He did notanswer for so long that I nearly repeated it.

"How do Iknow?" he said at last. "She couldn't bear the sight of me. It amusedme. "

"I see."

“她原来是罗马一个贵族家里的家庭教师，这家人的少爷勾引了她。她本以为那个男的会娶她做妻子，没想到却被这家人一脚踢了出来。她快临产了，想要自杀。这时候施特略夫发现了她，同她结了婚。”

“施特略夫正是这样一个人。我从来没有见过哪个人象他那样富于侠义心肠的。”

原先我就一直奇怪，这一对无论从哪一方面讲都不相配的人是怎么凑到一块儿的，但是我从来没有想过竟会是这么一回事。戴尔克对他妻子的爱情与一般夫妻的感情很不相同，原因也许就在这里。我发现他对她的态度有一些超过了热情的东西。我也记得我总是怀疑勃朗什的拘谨沉默可能掩藏着某种我不知道的隐情。现在我明白了，她极力隐藏的远远不止是一个令她感到羞耻的秘密。她的安详沉默就象笼罩着暴风雨侵袭后的岛屿上的凄清宁静。她有时显出了快活的笑脸也是绝望中的强颜欢笑。我的沉思被思特里克兰德的话声打断了，他说了一句非常尖刻的话，使我大吃一惊。

“女人可以原谅男人对她的伤害，”他说，“但是永远不能原谅他对她做出的牺牲。”

“你这人是不会引起同你相识的女人恼恨的，这一点你倒可以放心。”我顶了他一句。

他的嘴角上浮现起一丝笑容。

“你为了反驳别人从来不怕牺牲自己的原则。”他回答说。

“那个孩子后来怎么样了？”

“流产了，在他们结婚三、四个月之后。”

这时我提出了最使我迷惑不解的那个问题。

“你可以不可以告诉我为什么你要招惹勃朗什·施特略夫？”

他很久很久没有回答，我几乎想再重复一遍我的问题了。

“我怎么知道？”最后他说，“她非常讨厌我，几乎见不得我的面，所以我觉得很有趣。”

“我懂了。”

His callousnesswas inhuman, and in my indignation I was not inclined to mince my words.

"As a merematter of curiosity I wish you'd tell me, have you felt the smallest twinge ofremorse for Blanche Stroeve's death?"

I watched hisface for some change of expression, but it remained impassive.

"Whyshould I?" he asked.

"Let meput the facts before you. You were dying, and Dirk Stroeve took you into hisown house. He nursed you like a mother. He sacrificed his time and his comfortand his money for you. He snatched you from the jaws of death. "

Stricklandshrugged his shoulders.

"Theabsurd little man enjoys doing things for other people. That's his life. "

"Grantingthat you owed him no gratitude, were you obliged to go out of your way to takehis wife from him? Until you came on the scene they were happy. Why couldn'tyou leave them alone?"

"Whatmakes you think they were happy?"

"It wasevident. "

"You are adiscerning fellow. Do you think she could ever have forgiven him for what hedid for her?"

"What doyou mean by that?"

"Don't youknow why he married her?"

I shook myhead.

他心肠冷酷到没有人性的地步，我气愤得要命，一点儿也不想给他留情面。

“我想你可以不可以告诉我——我问这个问题只是出于好奇——，你对勃朗什·施特略夫的惨死良心上一点儿也不感到内疚吗？”

我瞅着他的脸，看他的面容有没有什么变化，但是他的脸仍然毫无表情。

“为什么我要内疚？”

“让我把事情的经过向你摆一摆。你病得都快死了，戴尔克·施特略夫把你接到自己家里，象你亲生父母一样服侍你。为了你，他牺牲了自己的时间、金钱和安逸的生活。他把你从死神的手里夺了回来。”

思特里克兰德耸了耸肩膀。

“那个滑稽的小胖子喜欢为别人服务。这是他的习性。”

“就说你用不着对他感恩，难道你就该霸占住他的老婆？在你出现在他们家门以前，人家生活得非常幸福。为什么你非要插进来不可呢？”

“你怎么知道他们生活得幸福？”

“这不是明摆着的事吗？”

“你什么事都看得很透。你认为他为她做了那件事，她会原谅他？”

“你说的是什么事？”

“你不知道他为什么同她结婚吗？”

我摇了摇头。