Now, I’m not going to pretend I don’t ever judge other people. But one of the best changes I’ve made to help me be happier is learning to see judging other people as a red flag.

A friend recently asked me how I balance my personal lives and all my projects, and it made me pause and think. And that pause, and the thinking, is really the key to it all, I discovered.

When you’re feeling resentful or angry about something, it’s worth stopping to consider why.

How much of your stress, frustration, disappointment, anger, comes from one little thing? Almost all of it comes from your expectations. We build these expectations in our heads of what other people should do, what our lives should be like, how other drivers should behave … and yet it’s all fantasy. It’s not real.

Most of us are pretty busy, just about every day. Some like it that way — being busy is almost a status symbol, as it shows you’re important and productive and a go-getter and achiever. I say we should reject that little game of who’s busier than whom.

Many people are super busy, and distracted, because busy-ness and distraction feels productive, and isn’t boring. Smokers don’t want to quit smoking, because it helps them deal with stress. What do all these people have in common? They rely on crutches.

When I first started simplifying my life, about 8 years ago, I remember my life being much busier. I would say yes to everything, and go to lots of social stuff, and drive everywhere doing a crazy amount of things, rushing wherever I went. By crazy I mean it can drive you a bit insane.

Think about the major problems in your life — from anxiety to lack of regular exercise to a bad diet to procrastination and more. Pretty much every one of these problems is caused by a fear of discomfort.

When we were kids, most of us had someone to tell us what to do. Then came adulthood, where things became not-so-clear.

Our days fill up so fast, and are so rushed and filled with distractions, that they seem to be bursting. It’s a huge source of stress for most people, and stress is perhaps the most important factor determining whether we’re healthy or sick. So how can we simplify our days? It’s not incredibly hard, but I’ve found it’s best done in steps.