Seeing a rat gets you a discount. Bandage found in strawberry malt. Cook accidentally jumps into boiling grease and melts off all the skin from his knees to his feet. #FML

Is that a sausage taped to your stomach, or are you just happy to see me? #FML

Strippers fighting over ONE DOLLAR causes patrons to throw even more money onto the stage

Calling out your ex's name during sex is a form of flattery...right?

Casserole explodes like roadside bomb and results in family eating Glassy Corn Hotdish?

Horrible breast-acne seeking toupee wearer. Man seeking grocery store farting woman with perfect body.

"I'm not bathing in the library bathroom! I'm cleaning myself after pooping my pants!"

Terri admits she couldn't get out of a speeding ticket in Wisconsin, despite having her pants unzipped.

Grandma's Christmas tradition...naming off all 10 of her dead dogs #FML

December 12, 2016 | Damn potholes! Oh, wait...my tire is flat. There goes the Christmas bonus :(

December 7, 2016 | Just because the IRS makes you want to "kill yourself" doesn't mean you're suicidal