Step into the confessional with Simon Mayo and the crew for a week caught between Valentine’s Day love and Friday-the-13th superstition.

First up: Litmus relives the childhood horror of £40 Caterpillar boots that “mysteriously” shrank on a seaside stroll in Bray… until mum discovers the real culprit still stuffed inside.

Then Jane’s triumphant jeans-buying trip goes spectacularly wrong when a stubborn zip traps her lacy knickers — and she makes a panicked dash that leaves an unforgettable “freebie” on the shop floor.

Plus: Cliff’s smart-speaker chaos accidentally orders Blue’s greatest hits, and Rachel’s free Waitrose latte turns into a windy, foamy car-park crime.

Got a confession? Send it to [email protected].