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Part 2 of our Monster Buds series and this time its a robot dog with superpowers played by an actual dog. That can't be a recipe for disaster in any possible way!
When you absolutely must rescue your vague kingdom from a usurper with unknown motivations and restore your position as the supreme ruler of the lands, reach for a Galgameth statue and squirt some tears on it. Just make sure you don't ever go near an ocean. It's the Adventure or Legend or just Galgameth and he's one family friendly Kaijū!
There's some pretty great stuff in this one though for bad movie lovers. There is some possible moral tale about cats being evil and dogs being good, some seriously cheesy special effects, a poorly shot dummy that clearly gets crushed by Galgameth, some awful swordplay, some pretty crummy costumes, and pretty dumb dialogue. It's very easy to riff and great to discuss the stupid parts.
We all enjoyed Galgameth and recommend it but its not for everyone by any means. Enter at your own risk.
It may be called Galgameth or it might be called The Adventures of Galgameth or it might be called The Legend of Galgameth; who's to say? Either way, it's the start of our "Monster Bud" 3 episode series. It involves a fantasy tale about a boy who gets a dragon who grows by eating metal. So we'll see how that works out.
Sorry about the awful audio quality. Our new mixer is total crap.
Spookies is the very last of our Octoberween 3 bad horror movies of 2015 and what the hell do we say about this POS? Well it stinks.
This is just one of those hot messes that some people will love and some will hate. There is some pretty fantastic moments and then there are others that are long and drawn out and get a little tedious. Some of the makeup and effects look great, some others look terrible. The good news is that none of it makes a lick of sense.
The highlight of the film is certainly the farting Muck Men. This sequence should bring most bad movie fans to tears.
Two out of three of us didn't enjoy this movie. By Rotten Tomatoes method of rating, that's a 33%. Not good. However, this reviewer thought that it was still worth doing. There is a few stale parts but when things happen they are good enough to carry you enough to the next nanners bit.
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57 Channels and Monsters On is how we kick off this episode. No Springsteen didn't make it.
Its almost time kids. Just one more day until Halloween. So get a warm cup of pumpkin cider and curl up with a ridiculous podcast and an even more ridiculous movie. It's 1986's Spookies. Apparently it stars a bevvy of kooky monsters attacking a band of idiots.
Be sure to come back on Oct. 31st as we are releasing our full episode on Saturday instead of Monday.
Lestat, a vampire, falls in love. That's it. The end. Podcast over. Really that's all that happens in this film. It is truly one of the most uneventful things ever viewed by man. It's a complete snooze fest.
It may seem like important things are going on. But really it is just guys and girls moving incredibly slow (so they look sexy, I guess) and overacting. Or perhaps they are compensating for the huge teeth crammed into the actor's mugs. Speaking of actors...
Aaliyah - She may have dead before this thing was released. That's a bummer. Many tears. That does NOT make her immune to having won an award for terrible acting. She was awful. Most notably her snake dance and her incoherent vamp talk. She's pretty hard to understand but when you did it doesn't matter.
Yes this is a bad movie. No its not any fun. There's is just nothing happening. Something needs to happen. It doesn't. Boo this movie.
It's week 2 of our 3 episode Halloween trio of horribleness. This week Aaliyah stars in a sexy vampire movie called Queen of the Damned from 2002. While it avoided the Razzies completely this film was still quite pandered by critics but in the years since has gained a pretty heavy cult following. Is it because its filled with annoying glitter vampires or is there some merits to the shenanigans?
Gramps and Tucker from the If We Made It podcast join us for a Bad Movie Field trip with the most successful film of 2015, Jurassic World. It's been labeled by the geniuses of the Internet as a cinematic milkshake of bad movie tropes and not carrying the spirit of 1993's Jurassic Park. We ask, "What do you want from a monster movie?"
Jurassic World at its core is just plain silly. The employees are all buffoons, the CEO may be the worst one of all time, and Chris Pratt's jungle man routine is about as preposterous as Donald Trump being President. It's all just silly. Critics and haters alike complain about the film not taking itself seriously enough and Bryce Dallas Howard traipsing through jungles and stepping in dino doo doo in high heels, with a bevy of buzzwords like one-dimensional, cliche, and lackluster. Perhaps you should just stick with Kurosawa films, it's a friggin movie about dinosaurs eating people! You can claim that your precious Jurassic Park is a film about taking science too far without considering the consequences but ask any child (which is the franchise's target market, not you Beardy) and they will tell you its about dinosaurs eating people.
So we say, screw you purists. This isn't the newest biopic or historical depiction of how crappy things were 150 years ago or obligatory white man's guilt film. This is a film about dinosaurs fucking some shit up. Sit back in your seats, eat your popcorn and smile. You're there to have a good time.
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Tom Atkins stars as a mustache-ride-given hacker doctor detective with the help of a young woman who may or may not be an android to take down a Irish/Californian novelty gift manufacturer who wants to use the powers of Stonehenge to transform millions of children into bugs and snakes. Don't come for Michael Meyers, stay for the endless sea of questions.
The movie is completely silly. The plot of ridiculous and with each moment the viewer is just presented more and more questions. It's like the entire run of Lost or the heads of the Hydra. When you answer one question, five more questions sprout up. Each character's motivations are pretty confusing not to mention who the hell they are. Why is Tom Atkins the detective? Why is he alcoholic? Is the girl a robot the entire time? If so, why does she lead Tom Atkins directly to the Silver Shamrock Corp? Does Silver Shamrock murder children or do they just become bugs and snakes? If its murder, then is it murder by teleporting bugs and snakes into their brains? Just writing these questions make me think of more. We could spend 900 pages in just questions.
We love this film and highly recommend it. Especially if you hated it when you were a child. Come back. It's fantastic.
Over the top action:
Cheesy effects:
Horrendous acting:
Laugh-out-loud-ability:
Ridiculous stunts:
Gratuitous nudity:
Memorable one-liners:
Good Movie Quality:
Bad Movie Quality:
Brought to you by Silver Shamrock, inventors of such gags as Sticky Toilet Paper and Super Tiny Undies. Get the gags going this Halloween with Silver Shamrock.
It's that time again, kids. Time to enjoy the sweet smells of fall, the colors of the leaves as they fall to the ground, Mom's pumpkin pie and being transformed into bugs and snakes through the powers of Stonehenge. Halloween III: Season of the Witch (yes the one that doesn't have Michael Myers) stops in on Stinker Madness to kick off our three episode series on our favorite spooky films. Be sure to wear your masks!