This week’s piece of failed awards bait is the 2017 costume drama/romantic “thriller” Tulip Fever, and by “2017,” we mean “filmed in 2014 and originally intended to be released at various times over the course of the next three years, only to finally limp into theaters after several waves of frantic test screenings, horrid buzz and derisive jokes.” From the director of The Other Boleyn Girl, people! How could it have all gone so very wrong?

Topics include: Dane DeHaan and baby pandas, Judi Dench running Goldman-Sachs-for-flowers, whether we’re living in a post-costume-drama world, whether this would have been Alicia Vikander’s Norbit, and how much would have been different if DreamWorks had been able to make this movie in 2004 as originally intended.