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In today’s episode of Born To Know, trauma-informed coach and parenting expert Sterna Suissa shares how parents—often unknowingly—pass down patterns of self-betrayal, shame, and disconnection to their kids.
We explore how seemingly small interactions shape whether a child learns to trust themselves or outsource their sense of truth, how you might be unconsciously teaching your kids entitlement, self-sacrifice, and poor boundaries, and why emotional outbursts are invitations for growth for both children and parents.
Whether you're a new parent, you’re knee-deep in teen years, or looking for closure around how you were raised, this conversation will help you foster a more emotionally intelligent relationship with your kids.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) Introduction
(00:00:53) Rooted in Reality: Sterna Suissa’s Work Reflects Parents' True Experiences
(00:01:30) Modern Rites: Helping Youth Transition to Adulthood Without Family Structures
(00:04:48) Why Kids Need Many Voices: Building Identity Through Diverse Relationships
(00:08:59) Inherited Wounds: How Unresolved Parental Struggles Echo in the Lives of Their Children
(00:13:25) The Truth About the Talk: How Lying to Kids About Sex Erodes Trust
(00:18:00) When Respect Hurts: How Forced Affection Teaches Children to Betray Their Boundaries
(00:23:43) The Backlash of Control: How Undermining a Child’s Autonomy Leads to Disconnection Over Time
(00:30:50) Raising Secure Children: How Parent-Child Dynamics Carry Into Adulthood and What You Can Do Today
(00:37:00) The Foundation of Trust: Creating Safe Parent-Child Relationships and Guiding Children Toward Discernment
(00:44:34) The Strength in Struggle: Why Allowing Children to Face Adversity Builds Resilience
(00:48:28) Is Sharing Truly Caring? Teaching Children to Balance Generosity and Self-Care
(00:52:45) The Transactional Mindset: Why Some Adults See Relationships as Exchanges
(00:56:25) When a Child’s Outburst Becomes a Mirror: How Emotional Reactions Invite Parents to Examine Their Beliefs and Triggers
(01:05:23) Teaching Kids to Heal: The Importance of Rupture and Repair in Childhood
(01:10:30) Laying the Foundation: How to Guide Your Child in Creating a Healthy Inner Blueprint
(01:13:00) Sterna Suissa’s Guidance for Parents Seeking to Reconnect with Their Child
Connect with Sterna Suissa:
Website
Connect with Eyla Cuenca:
Website
YouTube
Connect with Born To Know:
Website
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Born To Know is created by:
Host & Executive Producer: Eyla Cuenca
Post-Producer & Editor: Victoria Rondón
Copywriter: Caty Lee
Graphics & Website Designer: Turbo Rainbow
Want to dive deeper into the world of birth? Join the Uncovering Birth Family
Get 70% off Eyla’s masterclass bundle. 6 classes you cannot find anywhere else!
By Eyla Cuenca4.9
4949 ratings
In today’s episode of Born To Know, trauma-informed coach and parenting expert Sterna Suissa shares how parents—often unknowingly—pass down patterns of self-betrayal, shame, and disconnection to their kids.
We explore how seemingly small interactions shape whether a child learns to trust themselves or outsource their sense of truth, how you might be unconsciously teaching your kids entitlement, self-sacrifice, and poor boundaries, and why emotional outbursts are invitations for growth for both children and parents.
Whether you're a new parent, you’re knee-deep in teen years, or looking for closure around how you were raised, this conversation will help you foster a more emotionally intelligent relationship with your kids.
Chapters:
(00:00:00) Introduction
(00:00:53) Rooted in Reality: Sterna Suissa’s Work Reflects Parents' True Experiences
(00:01:30) Modern Rites: Helping Youth Transition to Adulthood Without Family Structures
(00:04:48) Why Kids Need Many Voices: Building Identity Through Diverse Relationships
(00:08:59) Inherited Wounds: How Unresolved Parental Struggles Echo in the Lives of Their Children
(00:13:25) The Truth About the Talk: How Lying to Kids About Sex Erodes Trust
(00:18:00) When Respect Hurts: How Forced Affection Teaches Children to Betray Their Boundaries
(00:23:43) The Backlash of Control: How Undermining a Child’s Autonomy Leads to Disconnection Over Time
(00:30:50) Raising Secure Children: How Parent-Child Dynamics Carry Into Adulthood and What You Can Do Today
(00:37:00) The Foundation of Trust: Creating Safe Parent-Child Relationships and Guiding Children Toward Discernment
(00:44:34) The Strength in Struggle: Why Allowing Children to Face Adversity Builds Resilience
(00:48:28) Is Sharing Truly Caring? Teaching Children to Balance Generosity and Self-Care
(00:52:45) The Transactional Mindset: Why Some Adults See Relationships as Exchanges
(00:56:25) When a Child’s Outburst Becomes a Mirror: How Emotional Reactions Invite Parents to Examine Their Beliefs and Triggers
(01:05:23) Teaching Kids to Heal: The Importance of Rupture and Repair in Childhood
(01:10:30) Laying the Foundation: How to Guide Your Child in Creating a Healthy Inner Blueprint
(01:13:00) Sterna Suissa’s Guidance for Parents Seeking to Reconnect with Their Child
Connect with Sterna Suissa:
Website
Connect with Eyla Cuenca:
Website
YouTube
Connect with Born To Know:
Website
Apple Podcasts
Spotify
Born To Know is created by:
Host & Executive Producer: Eyla Cuenca
Post-Producer & Editor: Victoria Rondón
Copywriter: Caty Lee
Graphics & Website Designer: Turbo Rainbow
Want to dive deeper into the world of birth? Join the Uncovering Birth Family
Get 70% off Eyla’s masterclass bundle. 6 classes you cannot find anywhere else!

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