It's 2016's ANYTHING FOR LOVE and time to hide your identity for: The menace of online dating ... Merry Christmas from Jordan Peterson ... Theme ... Jeb's 3 Favorite NFL season things ... Ryan Fitzpatrick appreciation station ... We liked this movie! ... Meet the cast ... Surly teen patient par annoycellence ... Fizzy writing, groaning tropes ... Brutal closing speech via hospital PA ... Famous (man's) last words (again) ... The Expositional Challenge ... Swimfan, The Faculty, Buñuel ... Erika Christensen appreciation station ... Chemistry: forced early, steadily improving, good listening ... "It's the Dead Wife Scene" ... Tropey but, like, Shakespeare tropey ... Spot the Angel: Dating buddies vs. Jack himself ... Men introducing women to common elements of American society ... 90-second 11th-hour Hallmark quit scene ... Million Dollar Man Charles Q. Boyfriend ... Yanni, Laurel, Murse ... Eat Your Heart Out: Guys knowing "a place" like The King of Fried Chicken; in this house we respect The Colonel; fake Glenn Greenwald and Wright Thompson; to-go foil swans ... Charles the hostile, kiss-assaultive Wine Clown ... Hallmark Expanded Universe: Erika Christensen chewing out the Radcliffe Center vs. Cartwright's landlord, looking deep into Wisconsin ... Overdetermined: Catcher in the Rye vs. Pride and Prejudice ... Katherine's father Woody Johnson ... Chad Pennington appreciation station ... Crossover: Traffic vs. Extreme Measures ... The Swagony of Defeat: Heart keychains ... Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes??? Maybe??? ... Partner Chat: An "emotional" ending and Paul Greene fandom vs. looks and money change things; skewed vision of doctors and nurses; nurse with infinite time; female self-effacement to protect the fragile male ego ... Leftovers: "I'm not going to let this Radcliffe deal fail, Kitten" ... The Gist ... Duck-walkin' the bowlin' alley ... Ironing jeans, helmet hair ... Overdressed to meet the King of Fried Chicken ... Jack's buddy Reggie running with "You're The Worst" energy ... Suicide door on a chump car ... Rating: 4.5 • MUSIC: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather • Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase Theme • NFL Primetime Theme #9 • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne