botanical studies of internet magic

03. this is a one way road

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A very personal account of the extreme feelings that lead me to quit my full time / part time jobs, and commit to working for myself.

This is a continuation of my series on wayfinding (my series of jumps into the void), featuring Jump #2: from aspiring writer with a 9-5 job — to deciding to become an entrepreneur.

I’ll explore these topics:

  • the ever-present feeling of wasting my life
  • life as a recovering good asian daughter / repressed creative / secret obscurus
  • the idea of energetic reciprocity as an embodied feeling
  • the notion that in order to feel safe, you must compromise yourself
  • an infinite earning potential as a metaphor for expansion
  • the desire to give 100% to the work that belonged to me
  • escaping the cycle of job samsara


    • My “one way road” was more like a deeply anxiety-provoking, messy, uncertain, tangled wandering in the dark. but I’ll explain why it was (and still is) worth every second.


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    botanical studies of internet magicBy kening zhu
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