botanical studies of internet magic

04. how do I survive as a creative and not hate myself?

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this week's chapter on my wayfinding journey is about my years of the creative hustle, in which I tortured myself with the question: “how do I survive as a creative, and not hate myself?"

I’ll explore:

  • my personal distillations of the prescribed / trailmarked paths of success — for writers, visual artists, and business owners
  • how I thought something was wrong with me for not climbing those ladders (and what I realized instead)
  • the illusion of safety + promise of conditional success… (that is, if you just override the self)
  • why “means to an end” thinking doesn’t work for me
  • how and why process is my guiding compass instead


    • this is about my Jump #3: from new creative entrepreneur trying to follow a 10-step plan of "shoulds"… to jumping into the void of my artist-hermit self.



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    botanical studies of internet magicBy kening zhu
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