Trusting a victim's instincts could be the difference between life and death. Dorothy Giunta-Cotter knew her husband was dangerous. She told authorities he repeatedly threatened to kill her if she ever left him. She did everything right - fled with her child, sought help from a crisis center, filed a restraining order, and reported violations. Yet despite all these precautions, Dorothy's worst fears came true when her estranged husband William fatally shot her in her Massachusetts home in 2002, with their young daughter hiding under the bed as tragedy unfolded.

Dorothy's heartbreaking story reveals a critical gap in our response to domestic violence cases. While individual agencies each performed their designated roles, the lack of true collaboration between domestic violence organizations, law enforcement, and the judicial system created fatal vulnerabilities. A judge's decision to release William on just $500 bail, without fully understanding the severity of his threats, set in motion the tragic events that followed just five days later.

From this devastating loss emerged meaningful change. Kelly Dunne of the Jeanne Geiger Crisis Center partnered with domestic violence expert Jacqueline Campbell to develop a coordinated community response that's saving lives today. The Greater Newburyport High Risk Response Team established in 2005 brings together advocates, hospital liaisons, and police departments to assess risk factors using Campbell's Danger Assessment tool. This episode breaks down this vital 20-question assessment that helps identify potentially lethal situations before tragedy strikes.

Whether you're personally facing abuse, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand the real-world challenges in protecting domestic violence victims, this episode provides crucial insights into recognizing danger signs and navigating safety systems. Remember that regardless of any assessment score, your instincts matter most. If you feel unsafe or threatened, reach out immediately to trusted resources like your local domestic violence shelter, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Sources:

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2013/07/22/a-raised-hand

https://feminist.org/news/911-tape-reveals-final-moments-of-domestic-violence-victims-life/

https://www.bostonmagazine.com/news/2013/07/16/how-massachusetts-is-trying-to-prevent-domestic-homicides/

https://www.postandcourier.com/app/till-death/assets/d4-pdf.pdf

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7878014/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Dana's transformation from abuse survivor to community leader shows how trauma can become purpose when channeled into helping others. After enduring 17 years of family court battles and multiple forms of abuse, Dana founded the Survivor Center to create the support system she wished she'd had during her darkest moments.

The Survivor Center began with online support groups connecting women across the country facing similar struggles with domestic violence. What started as informal conversations evolved into a structured "survivor support bootcamp" addressing every aspect of healing - from identifying different forms of abuse to processing childhood trauma through powerful exercises like writing letters to your younger self.

Dana's approach combines emotional healing with practical support. Beyond the therapeutic elements of the program, she provides court accompaniment, teaching survivors how to navigate the complex and often biased family court system. Drawing from her extensive personal experience, she offers crucial guidance on everything from how to present yourself effectively in court to avoiding retraumatization when facing an abuser in legal settings.

The work extends to prevention through youth mentoring, prison ministry for incarcerated women, and Dana's book "Savage Angel," which provides spiritual guidance while supporting the nonprofit's mission. Throughout all these initiatives runs a thread of profound empathy and lived experience - Dana knows exactly what survivors need because she's walked the same path.

What's most striking about Dana's work is how she transforms even the most painful experiences into tools for helping others. Her message resonates with unwavering hope: "If I made it through, you can too." For those trapped in cycles of abuse, these words and the support system behind them may be the lifeline they desperately need.

To connect with the Survivor Center, visit survivorcenter.org, call 386-450-1966, or email [email protected]. All proceeds from Dana's book "Savage Angel" directly support the organization's vital work.

Dana's 1in3 bio: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/dana-hanuszczak/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

The journey from victim to advocate is rarely straightforward, but Dana's story reveals the remarkable resilience of the human spirit against unimaginable odds. As a child in the Bronx, Dana navigated parental addiction, homelessness from age nine, and cultural displacement as the only Caucasian person in her neighborhood. Rather than succumbing to these challenges, she found solace in education and the kindness of neighbors who welcomed her into their homes.

Dana's candid account pulls no punches as she shares her experiences with trafficking at seventeen, surviving multiple violent relationships, and the gut-wrenching ordeal of fighting for her children. Perhaps most revealing is her seventeen-year battle through family courts across three states—a journey that transformed her pain into expertise. "Courts don't appreciate it," she explains about domestic violence claims, dispelling the myth that mothers always receive custody. Her hard-won insights into emotional regulation during court proceedings and strategic self-representation offer invaluable wisdom for listeners facing similar battles.

What sets Dana's testimony apart is her evolution from survival to purpose. After winning her final custody case, she channeled her experiences into "Savage Angel," a book helping women navigate family court trauma. When moving to Florida revealed a community plagued by domestic violence, addiction, and mental health crises with minimal resources, Dana founded The Survivor Center. Her approach—built on lived experience rather than theory—reframes trauma not as a life sentence but as a temporary chapter. "I want to be the poster child for what life looks like after abuse," she shares, offering hope to those who wonder if recovery is possible. Though her faith provided her personal pathway to healing, Dana serves everyone without judgment, recognizing that freedom from "captivity"—whether addiction, mental illness, or destructive relationships—begins with being truly seen and supported by someone who has walked the same path. This first episode in a two-part series lays the groundwork for understanding how one woman's darkest moments became the foundation for helping countless others find their way to light.

Link to Dana's 1 in 3 profile: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/dana-hanuszczak/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

George's story begins with a childhood shaped by three different abusive men. From physical beatings by his foster father for minor childish behaviors to learning at age nine that the man he'd called "dad" wasn't his biological father, his early years were marked by confusion and pain.

When his stepfather entered the picture, the abuse escalated. One particularly cruel moment led to George's decision to bury his emotions completely—a survival mechanism that would last nearly four decades.

What makes George's testimony so remarkable is what happened after he finally shared his story publicly. After 40 years of emotional numbness—so complete he couldn't cry even when his beloved grandfather passed away—his feelings began to resurface.  "I don't remember these feelings," he explains, describing the strange experience of navigating emotions that feel brand new at age 54.

George's journey reminds us that healing doesn't follow a timeline. Sometimes our greatest breakthroughs come decades after trauma, when we find the courage to break our silence. His story offers hope that no matter how long we've carried our burdens, it's never too late to begin the work of reclaiming our full emotional lives.

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Money and fame shouldn't protect abusers, but they often do. This latest episode delves deep into one of Hollywood's most notorious domestic violence cases – the disturbing relationship between Mel Gibson and Oksana Grigorieva.

The relationship began like a Hollywood romance in 2009, quickly resulting in the birth of their daughter. But by January 2010, Gibson allegedly punched Oksana while she held their infant, breaking her teeth. What followed was extraordinary – recorded phone calls captured Gibson's terrifying threats. Despite pleading no contest to domestic violence, facing minimal consequences, and surrendering his firearms under the Lautenberg Amendment, Gibson recently had his gun rights restored by Attorney General Pam Bondi.

This isn't just about one celebrity – it reveals how power and influence can override the systems designed to protect survivors.

Sources:

https://people.com/crime/mel-gibson-not-obligated-to-pay-ex-oksana-grigorieva-settlement-balance/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxh3iQF0ZpI

https://www.today.com/video/mel-gibson-audio-recordings-awful-moment-in-time-44510787755

https://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/celebrity.news.gossip/07/09/mel.gibson.rant/index.html

https://radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/07/exclusive-new-audio-mel-gibson-admits-hitting-oksana-threatens-kill-her-listen-it/

https://radaronline.com/videos/exclusive-audio-tape-could-destroy-mel-no-one-will-believe-you-he-says-after-she/

https://people.com/celebrity/inside-mel-gibson-and-oksana-grigorievas-turbulent-romance/

https://www.atf.gov/rules-and-regulations/laws-alcohol-tobacco-firearms-and-explosives/gun-control-act

https://www.usmarshals.gov/resources/forms/lautenberg-amendment

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/justice-department/doj-official-says-was-fired-opposing-restoration-mel-gibsons-gun-right-rcna195287

https://people.com/mel-gibson-gun-rights-restored-attorney-general-1170915

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Two years in, and I'm finally ready to share some of my personal healing journey following domestic violence. What began as determination to leave my abuser slowly morphed into doubt and questioning - was it really abuse? Could the relationship be saved? In therapy, a seemingly simple exercise changed everything. Writing my story on an imaginary scroll and reading it back as if it belonged to someone else broke me open. "That poor woman," I whispered through tears, before realizing that woman was me.

The healing journey hasn't been linear. After the initial freedom of leaving came unexpected challenges - misinterpreting friends' intentions, suspecting hidden agendas, experiencing physiological responses to everyday interactions. Through dedicated therapy work, I've learned that healing requires feeling everything: the sadness, exhaustion, frustration, anger, pain, happiness, uncertainty, and even pride. Most importantly, I've discovered that obsessing over understanding my abuser only prevented my own growth. Questions like "Was the abuse intentional?" and "Did they ever truly love me?" consumed mental space better used for self-discovery and healing.

From a small idea launched on March 1st, 2021, 1 in 3 has grown into a community spanning 40+ countries with thousands of downloads and 16 incredible guests. This episode marks a new chapter, but the mission remains the same: sharing real stories of domestic violence, raising awareness, and offering hope to everyone affected. Whether you're just beginning your healing journey or well along the path, remember that self-love is the foundation, and you're never alone. Your messages of encouragement and support keep this podcast going, and I'm deeply grateful for each of you. 

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

The devastating intersection between suicide and domestic violence remains largely hidden, yet the statistics tell a shocking story. In this deeply important conversation, LCSW Jessica reveals that one in three women who attempted suicide in the past year were recent victims of intimate partner violence.

Drawing from her years of experience working with suicidal individuals, Jessica unpacks how the risk factors for suicide directly mirror the experiences of domestic violence victims. The isolation, hopelessness, and psychosocial stressors created by abusive relationships establish perfect conditions for suicidal thoughts to take hold. Most alarmingly, research shows the window between having suicidal thoughts and taking action can be as brief as five minutes to one hour.

We explore the generational impacts as well, discovering disturbing international data showing children who witness domestic violence face significantly higher suicide risks. In the U.S., one in fifteen children are exposed to intimate partner violence annually, with 90% being eyewitnesses to abuse.

This episode provides crucial information about recognizing warning signs, creating effective safety plans, and understanding what happens during crisis intervention. Jessica emphasizes the importance of direct communication, explaining that asking someone specifically about suicidal thoughts doesn't plant the idea – it opens the door for life-saving conversation.

Remember the crisis line number: 988. 

References:

Suicide and intimate partner violence

New study explores intimate partner violence as precursor to suicide - UNC Gillings School of Global Public Health

UNC Gillings School of Global Public Health, April 11 2022 discussed this study: Intimate partner violence victimization and perpetration as precursors to suicide - ScienceDirect

Intimate partner violence, suicidality, and self-harm: a probability sample survey of the general population in England - PMC Lancet Psychiatry, 2022 Jul; 9(7)

Scale of homicide and suicides by domestic abuse victims revealed content

Resources:

Homepage | Zero Suicide

Tools for Addressing Intimate Partner Violence and Suicide Risk: Lessons Learned from OHA’s COVID-19 Emergency Response for Suicide Prevention Grant

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

What happens after you leave an abuse relationship? The movies would have you believe it's all sunshine and roses once you escape, but the reality is far more complicated. Author Emma Jean Rowin returns to share the final chapter of her journey, reading from her powerful memoir "When Things Collapse" and exploring the complex aftermath of domestic abuse.

Emma Jean opens with a reading about "The Work of Letting Peace In," describing how survivors often develop hypervigilance as a protection mechanism. This overwhelming need to control one's environment—especially for parents trying to shield their children from further harm—becomes its own struggle that requires intentional healing.

One of the most profound revelations in our conversation is how both of us believed we were "too smart" or "too strong" to be abuse victims. This common belief actually makes us more vulnerable, as it prevents us from recognizing abuse for what it is and seeking help. We discuss how abuse creates neural pathways that trigger unexpected reactions in future relationships, requiring conscious reprogramming through therapy and self-awareness.

"If a person's good side is very good and their bad side is very bad, you have to let go of both," Emma Jean shares, highlighting one of the most difficult aspects of leaving—the uncertainty about whether those good moments were real, and learning that ultimately, it doesn't matter. The intensity that many survivors become accustomed to in relationships is not healthy, though it can take time to understand that peaceful relationships are actually the goal.

While the journey after abuse isn't fair and requires tremendous work, the peace and freedom are worth it. There's a special appreciation for autonomy that survivors develop—the ability to make decisions without fear, to experience calm without walking on eggshells, to simply be. If you're on this journey, remember that all your feelings are valid, healing isn't linear, and you are never, ever alone.

Emma Jean’s 1in3 bio: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/emma-jean-rowin/

Link to “When Things Collapse”: https://a.co/d/8wTUZ1W

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

When Emma Jean's young daughter offered to "act really cute" to prevent her father's rage, something profound shifted. In this raw, emotional conversation, Emma Jean reads a pivotal passage from her book, "When Things Collapse," revealing the exact moment she realized her children weren't just witnessing abuse—they were absorbing it as training for their future.

This powerful discussion dismantles the myth that staying "for the kids" benefits children in abusive households. Emma Jean shares how her daughter, now 21, demonstrates remarkable strength in relationships precisely because she witnessed her mother's courage in walking away. "That's the thing in my life I am the most proud of," Emma Jean confesses, noting that children who see their parents respect themselves learn to demand respect in their own lives.

We tackle difficult truths: the façade of an "intact family" shatters the moment abuse begins; children perceive tension regardless of parents' attempts to hide it; and perhaps most importantly—a good father simply does not abuse his children's mother. For listeners struggling with these decisions, Emma Jean offers a clarifying question: "What would you tell your daughter to do in this situation?"

The conversation acknowledges the very real dangers of leaving, with practical advice about timing, safety planning, and the emotional reality that many victims attempt to leave multiple times before making a final break. Through it all runs a thread of hope—that when parents find the courage to walk away from abuse, they give their children an invaluable gift: a model of self-respect that becomes internalized and "sealed in their fate" in the most positive way possible.

Emma Jean’s 1in3 bio: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/emma-jean-rowin/

Link to “When Things Collapse”: https://a.co/d/8wTUZ1W

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Emma Jean Rowin survived an abusive marriage that culminated in her ex-husband becoming an active shooter. Her powerful memoir "When Things Collapse" chronicles this journey, but more importantly, reveals the subtle pathway that led her there - the very pathway many dismiss with "I would never stay in an abusive relationship."

Through reading passages from her book, Emma Jean transports us to her college years when the relationship began. We witness the seemingly small moments that were actually major warning signs: a boyfriend who breaks up with her repeatedly as punishment for minor disagreements, who throws a full drink at her friend over a harmless joke, who creates emotional chaos that somehow felt like passion to a young woman whose own parents modeled a passionless marriage.

What makes this conversation particularly insightful is the exploration of why smart, capable people remain in toxic relationships. Both Emma Jean and host Ingrid reflect on how their family backgrounds created blind spots, how the intense chemistry masked manipulation, and how the absence of relationship education in the 1990s left them navigating dangerous waters without a map. They unpack the psychology behind staying - how victims absorb blame, make excuses, and gradually accept increasingly problematic behavior as normal.

For anyone who has ever judged someone for not leaving, this episode provides crucial perspective. For those currently questioning their own relationships, it offers validation and recognition. And for everyone else, it serves as a reminder that abuse doesn't announce itself with violence - it sneaks in through charm, intensity, and moments of connection that make the red flags easier to dismiss.

The conversation beautifully illustrates how modern awareness around mental health and relationship dynamics provides tools previous generations lacked, while acknowledging there's still much work to be done in educating young people about healthy relationships. Listen as Emma Jean shares her story with courage and clarity, reminding us that understanding how people enter these relationships is the first step toward helping them find their way out.

Emma Jean’s 1in3 profile: https://www.1in3podcast.com/guests/emma-jean-rowin/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

Contact 1 in 3:

• Send your emails to [email protected]
• Follow on Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok @1in3podcast
• Check out the website https://www.1in3podcast.com/

Thank you for listening and please remember to rate, review & subscribe!

Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe