We're adding A DASH OF LOVE (2017) and:

We're going to pass on the rolls.

THEME: THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather

PART ONE

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel ... Brendan Penny heat check ... Barely a movie ... Wasted Gilpin ... Previously a book? ... Ecce Homo ... Real-movie themes ... Too false, weird and murky ... Cast Rundown ... Ben Wilkinson maxing out the Liotta ... The Expositional Challenge ... Nikki-Paul cassoulet meet-cute ... Deranged food/media depiction ... Leaden, arrhythmic pacing ... Lord Fox's Huron Fleet ... Is she carrying leeks into a YMCA? ... Extremely cold ... The back of a restaurant ... Sal ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART TWO

Spot the Angel: No, and no community ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Summer Villa meets Chopt vs. Donovan Narrates The Investor in Botown ... Stan Kroenke ... "Why did you do that, Nikki?" ... Overdetermined: Not determined enough; The Patty Duke Show, Asshole Edition; intergenerational Johnny Sack; crayons make art too; cayenne pepper and relationship material ... Diner culture ... Crossover: Goodfellas, Dellucci's, when Bae texts first; Sweetbitter ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART THREE

The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Job talk, Delllucci's cooking talk ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Holly Hanson's meanness, funding, cooking and stealing ... Who's the Real Villain: Restaurant feudalism, funding and food culture ... Rating: 2 ... Brad Penny and the Large Lads ... Eat Your Heart Out: Cinnamon candy chili ... The other white meat ... Ingredient jump-scares ... Cadbury egg ... Increasingly upsetting food ... Community rolls ... Cardamom ... Skittlebrau ... Stew with root beer ... Valentine's ravioli and lamb mole ... Rachel Ray vibes ... Chawmp ... KFC ... Lavender Ham ... Split that loin ... Fighting the sensuality ... Joss Whedon's mom ... Two weeks...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART FOUR

The Leftovers: Christie Will Wolf Appreciation Station ... From Silk Stalkings to Eric Mabius ... Identity Theft of a Cheerleader ... Slightly Single in LA ... Worst bro-bonding convo ever ... Reggie Miller and Shaq Appreciation Station ... Angry rehab-checking ... No dribbling for the sound guy ... Burst off the dribble ... Under the hoop ... Netless volleyball ... Silent Hill parent hug ... Monkey smuggling ... Cayenne in my dad ... Dad foodgasm ... Vulvular decor ... "Falling out" ... Endless Instagramming ... More Gilpin ... Atrocious coffee collision ... Mark Prior ... Fancy Food ... Merry Christmas!

All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Baker Street (loop)," by Gerry Rafferty