SARAH D. BUNTING joins BRANDI BROWN to solve CROSSWORD MYSTERIES: A PUZZLE TO DIE FOR (2019), starting with:

A getting-to-be-so-driven exercise ... Don't look at the NY Magazine's art critic's life ...

THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather

PART ONE

Other podcasts ... Welcome, Brandi and Sarah D. B-b-b-b-bunting ... The ironic-to-sincere Bosch process ... Amazon Original Series Bosch ... Haunted by Brandy (the boy is hers) and not snitching ... Accidental eco-terrorism fans ... How'd we pick this? ... The Cat Who Found a Floater ... Booking Brandi's mom ... Cats and Anti-Cats ... Cast Rundown ... The Expositional Challenge ... Plot Mop-Up: Snack-addicted NYPD Chief; art-left ring clues; the NYT crime desk ... Better than Garbage Stores and Wedding Marches; non-workable plot points, but it's still fun ... Berenstein Bears: Lost in Cyberspace ... Tension-free, but actually plotted and playing to Chabert ... Clouds > Clues ... No Chabert solidarity ... Will Shortz cameo ... The crater of Minneapolis ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART TWO

Spot the Criminal: Good red herrings; a buffet of neurodifference; back to the red herrings; Pierre's Vincent Price vibes ... Sketchy character or bad actor? ... Attempted accent work ... Eat Your Heart Out: Pies, more pies; skipping lunch today; bakery downtown; cheese puffamid; the "Upper Crust"; pie alibi; bodying Murder She Baked; some sliders and fries; dine-and-dash on stakeout; letter-folding chip bag ... Pocket muffin ... Combo-Pez dispenser ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART THREE

Journalismism: Zero electronic communications; crossword next to the crime desk reception area; no building security; alphabetical newspaper sections; questionable crossword construction; subscriptions are up 8 percent; crosswords, a cozy career; "no funeral for me, I'm in the archives" ... The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Fencing stolen paintings through Garage Sale Mysteries; theft covered on the Hallmark podcast series; Murder She Baked going in on NY pies; leads getting married at the Wedding March B&B; the red-herring couple fleeing crime; the red-herring couple being hired by Danny Glover as God; the Candyland New York of Very Very Valentine ... Overdetermined: The trauma swaps; copaganda within copaganda; biting on the red herring; Elaine the art dealer's malice; how to get in the mind of the killer ... The Unabomber ... Crossover: PBS's Ghost Writer; an American Animals take on this plot; this plot, but in a Bone Collector universe; Friends of Numb3rs ... Wholesome Se7en ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART FOUR

The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: Pierre, former art broker Elaine, the City of New York, everyone or nothing, Monk simulation, the city is a character and robot ... Who's the Real Villain?: Cops, death of journalism, in-person workplaces, non-digitized archives; not understanding the readership ... Substack criminals ... Rating: 4 ... Effectively using La Chabert ... Lori Loughlin returning to Lifetime ... When Chabert's Chabert ... The Leftovers: New York O'Connors ... IMDB dive ... Positive supporting performances ... Frank D'Angelo ... Time-shifted to pre-internet ... Chesley Nightengale ... "Word on the street is, don't miss it" ... NY1 Hallmark ... Webster's defines crosswords as ... Abigail Krebs ... Wrong gallery, one clue, two solutions ... No sleeping on stakeout ... Shake Shack assassination attempt ... Plugs ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "Send Me on My Way," by Rusted Root.

Follow Sarah on Twitter: @tomatonation

Follow Brandi on Twitter: @itsthebrandi

Listen to Jeb and Sarah on Quaid in Full: Links!