November 15, 2021

108. Sitting And Being Angry At Your Phone

1 hour 21 minutes

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Lords:

Mark

Shirley

Topics:

Neuroscience!

Fertility tracking is more complicated than I realized.

When it turns out that a character in a movie is movie-star hot because it's a plot point, rather than because they're portrayed by a movie star, and I guess then the audience is supposed to pretend all the other characters, also played by movie stars, just look like regular schlubs.

Immortal - Call Of The Wintermoon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VBdAY8eA9w

Unedited (syncable) commentary: https://youtu.be/I4XK7YqwgFg

Tiktok food trends that are more about elaborate assembly than flavors.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vesYREe6_uk

Microtopics:

A band from Sweden that just released a demo.

Album art with a big giant snake and a shirtless barbarian dude whipping a mace at a guy.

A punk band composed of mixed race middle school riot grrls.

Speaking to a rude 12 year old and running off to write a bitchin' punk song about it.

Observing someone's career arc via the podcasts they guest on.

Talking yourself out of being a scientist.

Helping people with early-stage dementia manage activities of daily living.

An acquired language problem.

Adapting to not being in an abusive workplace environment.

How a process improvement is received when you suggest it to your BevMo manager vs. when you suggest it to the head of your neuroscience lab.

How every retail store is as understaffed as possible by design.

Switching from a retail job to an office job and suddenly being trusted to decide when to go to the bathroom.

How the world might be different if the people in charge had to live in the world they created.

Thriving in Our Hypercapitalist Dystopia.

Trying to have a kid and learning a whole bunch about your own body in the process.

Giving kids facts instead of ideology or even advice.

Going to pregnancy club and wondering if there's an aspirational pregnancy club.

Taking your temperature when you emerge from slumber.

Peeing on sticks. (A medical process.)

Not trying, not preventing.

Cervical mucus.

A bad batch of kombucha can kill you, and other ways kombucha is like a pregnancy.

Being naturally blessed with high motility sperm.

Asking your doctor if you should run a bunch of tests and they're like "just chill" and you're like "take my blood, please"

The science of trying-adjacent.

Drinking too deeply of the colloidal silver.

A bookish nerd who is portrayed by one of the most attractive humans on the planet but they're wearing glasses.

The incomparable Finn Carter.

Trying to cast an actor to play an unattractive person but Steve Buscemi is busy and you can't find a single other ugly actor so you cast Scarlet Johansson and have the makeup department put her in uglyface.

Doing an image search for "ugly actors" and every single result is of a South Asian and freaking out until you find out that there's a Bollywood movie called "Ugly."

Putting "the frumpy one" from a movie in a room next to a bunch of normal people and realizing that you need to blow way past the conventionally-attractive bell curve to even be allowed into Los Angeles.

A music video that was shot on VHS and uploaded to 2006-era Youtube.

Goth clowns scowling and looking out from behind trees.

A troupe of grumpy goth clowns in leather daddy outfits discovering and exploring ancient ruins.

Cutting your frenulum so you can stick out your tongue as far as Gene Simmons and waking up choking on your tongue meat every night.

Grumpy goth clowns crouching in doorways.

Hearing a variety of different screams and growls.

Training to scream for several hours a day, every day, without ruining your screamy bits.

Doing the crabcore thing decades before crabcore.

Googling "candlemass bewitched" for a good time.

Watching TikTok on Reddit because you're old.

Extremely simple and compelling recipes that can't possibly work and will in fact cause a fire in your chicken.

Making bad content to make people mad.

Trying to redefine porn as anything you enjoy.

Making a series of recipe videos with your nonstandard measuring cups so people need to buy your weird measuring cups to follow along.

Elsagate.

J. Kenji Lopez-Alt.

Hard boiling a million eggs to scientifically determine that you're super sick of eating eggs.

Food Wishes.

That's Just You Cookin'.

A cool chef with a cool attitude.

A chef with a cadence of speaking that really annoys your dad.

Learning to improvise when faced with an unexpected situation.

How to get joy out of cooking.

The fugu preparation certification.

Watching somebody spend five minutes washing some extremely starchy rice.

Having two gimmicks.

A knife that you can also use as a spatula.

Using fresh stream water in your forest cooking videos.

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By Jim Stormdancer

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