Topic Lords

11. The Unfriendly Potty Tries To Put It Back

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Lords this week:

  • Jenni is let's-playing Flower Sun and Rain with Riff: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDmj6Kt5p_g&list=PLQqC_GkS4_4YvUIsmDBnd5vX8W1Fme6vu
  • Jay is late!

    • Topics:

    • 2:07 Trying to get immersion in a language when you don't know any native speakers & you're not in the country.
      • Look at that horse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5woNs9WRE
      • 13:52 If you have scars on the inside of your cheek along where your teeth meet, that means your mouth is too small.
        • https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linea_alba_(cheek)
        • Mold-a-rama: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mold-A-Rama
        • 18:45 When you're not expecting food.
        • 20:38 Road trips in Germany: paying to pee, no tourist traps. (Though public transport owns for non-leisure trips.)
        • 31:18 Thomas "Dolby" Robertson's early 90s online music service.
          • Manufacture of cheddar cheese: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manufacture_of_Cheddar_cheese
          • Who coined the term "world wide web"? https://www.quora.com/Who-coined-the-term-world-wide-web
          • 39:07 Being ok with admitting it when you don't know about something.
            • Quantum suicide and immortality. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_suicide_and_immortality
            • One Terabyte of the Kilobyte Age. https://blog.geocities.institute/

              • Microtopics:

              • Ostensibly being in a hotel to stop an act of terrorism but first having to get someone's mojo back.
              • A portable computer that you call Catherine.
              • A time loop, here on Topic Lords.
              • Quitting that owl. Telling that owl where he can shove his heroin.
              • Duo Lingo being named after its founder and enforcer, Duo.
              • Gamification ruining your productivity because you can't help but care about these poorly-designed leaderboards.
              • This being a video games podcast now, I guess.
              • Putting in the effort to suck at a game so you can get more out of it.
              • Doing a couple squats and all the monsters dying and feeling like a badass because of all your gains.
              • Guessing that a higher intensity means a higher ratio of reps to jogging.
              • Guessing that lowering the workout intensity will increase your heart rate.
              • Squatting and catching the coins.
              • Being surprised that legal let them put squats in the workout game beacuse you can super fuck up your knees by doing squats wrong.
              • Learning Japanese so you can watch anime while also keeping an eye on that spider.
              • Asking your co-lord to stereotype an entire species.
              • Asking your co-lord about the personality of a spider when you made the spider up in this scenario.
              • Doing the equivalent of the look at the horse thing.
              • Explaining funny Youtube videos to each other.
              • A half hour of getting head massages and trying to make a face as if you're enjoying the head massage.
              • The mind whisk not working when you do it to yourself but a vibrating one might.
              • Not wanting to swear around clean boys.
              • Salvaging a terrible kale broccoli smoothie by adding rum.
              • Frying your terrible kale broccoli smoothie into falafels.
              • The only memory you have of a dentist being him telling you that you have a tiny mouth.
              • Not brushing your teeth or going to the dentist for four years.
              • Jim's good dentist costing twice as much as every other dentist and only being a 12-hour drive away.
              • The seam on a molded toy where the mold came together.
              • Knowing what the other person is talking about if it's the same thing that you were just talking about.
              • Going to the bank and giving them all your change and them giving you back half a black crayon and a couple of flatten pennies with dinosaurs on it and a lego.
              • Withdrawing all your money from the bank in black crayons.
              • Putting down the other half of your hot pepper bacon jam and peanut butter sandwich and later taking a bite, forgetting about the hot pepper bacon part.
              • A prank show that swaps out your half a sandwich with a different half a sandwich.
              • Getting food poisoning because someone on a podcast from the future gave you a bad recommendation and you paused it before hearing them say they were only kidding.
              • Searching for Jim Stormdancer who gave you a food poisoning recommendation on a time looped podcast but no results come back because that's not their name yet.
              • Realizing at the last second that a delicious gulp of Dr. Pepper is actually milk, then it turning out to actually be iced tea.
              • Beverageception.
              • How we all left fifty glasses of water in our room in case the aliens invade because that's a normal thing.
              • Milk not coming out of your glass when you try to drink because it's yogurt now.
              • Combination sleep mask and headphones.
              • Turning twenty half-full cans of Dr. Pepper into ten full cans of Dr. Pepper.
              • Not being able to take the last sip of anything because that sip is tainted.
              • Convincing yourself that if you just take a smaller sip it won't be the last sip.
              • Having five euros worth of pee vouchers because nobody actually accepts your pee vouchers.
              • Not having any concept of what it's like to drive without seeing tourist traps.
              • Figuring out what the German equivalent of Elvis is and instantly becoming a millionaire.
              • Starting to optimize your bathroom trips because now there's a currency involved.
              • The friendly potty making things weird.
              • The unfriendly potty trying to put it back.
              • Getting the smallest piece of chocolate imaginable at the end of your chocolate museum tour.
              • Helping the prince and his dragon friend make some chocolate shoes after the dragon accidentally melts the previous pair of chocolate shoes and melts them.
              • Brushing up on your chocolate trivia so you can get the sticker that says "Chocolate Genius."
              • Hiring a writer and telling them "it's a kingdom, and it's chocolatey -- go!"
              • Trying to convince museum attendees that you aren't exploiting laborers even though there are pictures of exploited laborers right there.
              • Theatrically fiddling with your synthesizers at because Channel 9 news is here.
              • Naming yourself after a music technology company because you also do music technology.
              • Missing an opportunity to name yourself after cheese.
              • Cheddars that have not undergone the cheddaring process.
              • Mistaking Thomas Dolby for Thomas Colby and cheddaring him but not getting cheddar for some reason.
              • Going grocery shopping with your mom and asking her for a candy bar and an Internet World Magazine.
              • Sticking with Gopher VR because the World Wide Web will never replace Telnet.
              • The term "World Wide Web" having been coined by Joseph McCarthy to describe Soviet influence in America.
              • Nodding along but feeling bad about not being able to connect with these people because you're 15 and don't know anything.
              • Being proud of not knowing about something.
              • Choosing to not be around people who make fun of you.
              • Programming being excellent practice for humility because you're demonstrably wrong all the goddamned time.
              • Wishing that you wanted to go outside more.
              • Synthesizer enthusiasts knocking over your trash can to look for patch cables.
              • Living on a canal and seeing a bunch of cool sea creatures all the time.
              • Spraying tap water into the canal to attract manatees and every one of them having propeller scars.
              • Watching shuttle launches from your back yard.
              • Slipping on frozen sprinkler water and somehow not hitting your head on your way down into the canal.
              • Every person ending up alone in the universe after everyone else has died.
              • Answering to Betty because you want to be polite and don't want to correct the person who thinks your name is Betty.
              • Betty Boop shooting to the top of the list of people you don't want to be confused with.
              • Being confused about whether Betty Boop is supposed to be sexy or a dog or both.
              • Betty Boop's apparent sexiness being like reading Shakespeare and not knowing what moiety means.
              • Judging somebody by the trucks you've seen with bootleg stickers of them on the back.
              • A bumper sticker of John Calvin peeing on whatever he doesn't like.
              • Inventing your own web safe palette.
              • Floyd-Steinberg fans high-fiving each other.
              • Good lording all around!

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                Topic LordsBy Jim Stormdancer
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