We started DATING THE DELANEYS (2022), but:

Do you know how loud jai alai is? ...

THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather ...

PART ONE

Wink! ... Wine Clown (taupe) ... Rom-rom, with jokes ... Jennifer Barrow Appreciation Station ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART TWO

Cast Rundown ... McNamara nostalgia ... Restorative justice for Brendan Zub ... Manderson Mode ... The Expositional Challenge ... A horn of a sort ... Plot Mop-Up: Michael, guiding PR practice; ex-husband rehab; horny grandma; arcade-bar; gone fishin' ... They seem like people! ... Paul Campbell Appreciation Station ... Charmingly corny flirty antagonism ... Punishing punsmithery ... Early forced laughter to natural fondness ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART THREE

Spot the Angel: Maybe Michael, maybe the horny mom, probably a goose egg ... Angelic parenting assistance ... Eat Your Heart Out: Salted caramel and cookies; Cafe New Orleans, eating crawfish, po-boy chunks; blind date basket of rolls; reasonable pizza with pepperoncini; pecan-pie cake; skyscraping bacon chocolate cake; Find My Salad Soulmate; namin' fish; America's most favorite cake; abandoned Heineken; Shake, Battle and Bowl; sauceless mozzarella sticks; rime-free milkshake ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART FOUR

The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Make It, Bake It, Cake It; QVC knockoff; Teryl Rothery; Episodes 9, 11, 12, 31, 50, 52, 55, 56, 59, 64, 74, 83, 84, 85, 86, and more; wine-clown concert road trip! ... Overdetermined: No true qualifier; too much friend hectoring; winking ... Crossover: Steve "Bones"; Quantum Bakery Apprentice ... The Hallmark Bechdel Test: Yes ... The Hallmark Voight-Kampff Test: All non-Michael, non-New Kid men; Steve! Steve! Steve!; David, the ex ...

Break: Original music by Chris Collingwood

PART FIVE

Great Moments in Moppetry: 1 ... Who's the Real Villain: Self-performance dating-app industry ... Title/Sequel: Good title and "Delaney Due Date" vs. Thematic underuse and "Dating Dana Delaney" ... Rating: 4 ... The Leftovers: Met at pickleball ... Printing out articles ... IMDB Dive: Jennifer Barrow, King of the Hill veteran ... Zack, the turd, with a sign ... Old new kid ... Treat Williams ... "Your dad comin' today?" ... Second Life kitchen ... "World Baby" ... Dental plan ... Merry Christmas!

All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane and "100,000 People," by Philip Glass.

Read Jeb's hot dog sandwich piece: Here.

Buy Caitlin Fitz Gerald's excellent book: Here.