Have you ever seen letters from the 1800s? Aside from the pristine penmanship and grammar, the way friends expressed their fondness for each other is remarkable.

“Letters sent between friends are often full of the kinds of loving and affectionate language that today we would only associate with romantic or sexual relationships: ‘My darling,’ ‘I love you,’ ‘I can't wait to be near you,’” said UC Berkeley historian Sarah Gold McBride, who in 2022 created the course, Friendship in America, with Berkeley anthropologist Christine Palmer. 

Throughout history, with changes in cultural norms and communication technology, the ways we stay connected to each other has also changed, and not always for the better. While social media can make it easier to find people with similar interests, it can also make it easier to forget what it takes to build and keep meaningful relationships. 

Gold McBride and Palmer hope their class will inspire students to draw from the past and approach their friendships with the intentionality they require.

This is the fifth episode of our eight-part series on transformation. In eight episodes, we’re exploring how transformation — of ideas, of research, of perspective — shows up in the work that happens every day at UC Berkeley. New episodes of the series come out on the last Monday of each month. See all episodes of the series.

Key takeaways:

• Gender norms, throughout U.S. history to the modern day, influence the kinds of friendships we make and how we express affection for each other.
• As our dominant modes of communication shift, how we conceive of friendship evolves, too.
• By investigating friendship in a deeper way, we can better understand the role of friendship in our lives and become more intentional in how we make and maintain our connections.

Read the transcript, listen to episode and see photos on UC Berkeley News (news.berkeley.edu/podcasts).

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Music by Blue Dot Sessions.

Photo by Sarah.rdguezz via Wikimedia Commons.

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