April 11, 2022

129. Yet Another Country Where They Don't Pee

1 hour 7 minutes

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Lords:

Alex

Shannon

Topics:

Regional Trash animals

Dynamic water features

The Pee Pee Dance is nowhere to be found on Wikipedia

The Bells, by Edgar Allen Poe

https://poets.org/poem/bells

Recipe essentialism

Sei Shonagon's Hateful Things are relatable

https://www.basicincome.com/bp/hatefulthings.htm

Microtopics:

Striving to sound like a motor that has just been switched off.

A very healthy vasovagal response.

Separating the platelets from the plasma.

Donating blood to anybody on the street with a needle and some brownie brittle.

Determining the blood type of this synthetic fake blood.

Brownies except they shatter like glass between your teeth.

Trashimals.

Visiting a new place and delighting at all the local pests.

Living in Florida and just bumping into crocodiles on the street.

Monkeys climbing your body to steal your food and break your camera.

Fairy penguins nesting in your storm drains.

Scooping rattlesnakes into a bucket, going to a military base and dumping them into the tank cockpits.

Only realizing that it's weird to have a rattlesnake in a jar on your porch when a Frenchman wants to come see.

It's a Canyon Thing.

Finding out that a mongoose is not the size of a goose.

One of the more hazardous trashimals.

Looking out the window and realizing that someone forgot to close the garage door and you're just going to have to wait for that grizzly bear to leave.

The mountain lion who visited downtown Berkeley.

A regular household goose.

Turning off Niagara falls at night.

Seeing behind the veil of the world when Niagara falls gets switched off.

Going to Hawaii to see the milky way.

A universal human experience that remains completely undocumented.

The squeeze and grab strategy.

Something you wouldn't want to sample in Costco.

The tiny sommelier in your butt.

Recipes calling for eggs or milk but not specifying which kind.

Pee shivers.

A reading face for radio.

A sort of runic rhyme.

The rhyming and the chiming of the bells bells bells bells bells bells bells.

Edgar Allan Poe as an emo Dr. Seuss.

The gamut of all the things bells can be.

Adding more bells to the end of each verse.

The Jabberwocky rewritten in the style of incomprehensible in-jokes.

A cake recipe with two ingredients.

Keto-something something cookies.

Mashing the crosshatch shape with a fork.

The Easy Cookbook: Over 100 Satisfying Recipes Made with Four Ingredients or Less.

Ice cream made from eggs and peanut butter.

The fourth ingredient is your car.

Writing a book of listicles in the 11th century.

The way the snow looks on the roofs of the village under moonlight, and how the plebian villagers can't appreciate it.

When one is in a hurry to leave but one's visitor keeps chattering away.

Shameless old people putting their feet up on braziers.

One's attachment to a man depending largely on the elegance of his leave-taking.

Trying to maintain all your clandestine relationships in a palace where the walls are made of paper.

A person who recites a spell after sneezing.

When one is about to be told some interesting piece of news and a baby starts crying.

The exorcist staying up too late and falling asleep in the middle of the exorcism.

All the interesting poetry and prose from a historical era being written by women because the men were expected to write in their second language.

The Empress receives the gift of a phonograph at the dawn of voice recording, and she turns to and is like "uh, figure out something to do with this."

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By Jim Stormdancer

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