HOLLY ANDERSON brings us a piping hot basket of dogs to help us in GUIDING EMILY (2023), but…

TEASER:

We're at a loss … DMT and Togo … Live barking …

THEME: "Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas," from Crudbump, by Drew Fairweather

PART ONE

Holly's forever home … Garth? … Hallmark knowledge (+200 Dodgeball) … Healthy for work: a millennial attack … Talking Dog theory … Eric McCormack, yellow lab … Surface dog, onscreen braille … Phone accessibility, unicornmoji … Timeless, America+…

PART TWO

Cast Rundown … Drew? … Dog interlude … The Expositional Challenge … Afraid of beeps … Muad'Dog … Chronic illness/generational targeting … Wheelchair coworker … Do the disabled depress Hallmark? … Public service: being blind and helping the blind … Crepe/pumpkin yearning … Omniscient foreboding dog narrator plot graft … Question the science … Garth's PIP … Telepathy > peanut butter…

PART THREE

Chip & Bean Cafe … Never seen the Simpsons … Spot the Angel: Sexless Drew/Mark … Online frisson … Wine clown … Workbot boyfriend … Emotionally incoherent, metal as hell … Final Destination / Ep. 67 doom/slapstick threat … Connor-exculpation … Vanishing palatial boomer mom…

PART FOUR

Eat Your Heart Out: Chip-based personality; real local restaurant; burger ejecta;"Blind Date"? … Dog biscuit downstream effect … The Hallmark Expanded Universe: Greater Pacific Northwest, Amnesiac Utah … Ironside … Overdetermined: Refusing help … Coulda been worse! … Affecting outreach … Holly, and the emotional wave of fostering dogs … No Voight-Kampff or Villains … Good lines … Rating: 3.5, more Garth … A Shudder Christmas … REAL kiss fakeout … Simple journey, not a drag…

PART FIVE

Ratings ethos … The Wayans warned us … Day After Tomorrow on Quaid in Full … Atlantic Rim … Marvels Cat Scene Timestamp: 1:11:40 … IMDB Dive: Cybersleuthing with dog; Michael Mann's Tokyo Vice Road to Christmas; Andy Mikita, Antonio Cupo; Final Destination … Hallmark Candyman … The Leftovers: Listen for the sound shadows … Spaghetti-O's … Cremains … CoonHoundRescue.com: We deliver! … Merry Christmas! • All other music by Chris Collingwood of Look Park and Fountains of Wayne, except: "Orchestral Sports Theme" by Chris Collingwood and Rick Murnane.