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AveryJesseLaserdiscTracing the lineage of racehorses on WikipediaBread is too wide to fit in toastershttps://twitter.com/mogwai_poet/status/1335354217335148546/photo/1Variants of bowling, now mostly lost to history, are like glimpses into possible worlds metaphysically close to our ownHow to sound like a douchebag if you are a programmer who lives in Oakland.A Social Security Number that has way too many sixes in it.A disc that is the same size as an LP but looks like a CD and has a movie on it.Arcade games breaking whenever you transport them.Laserdiscs rusting.Integrating the likely degradation of the viewing medium into the piece itself.The Matrix on Betamax.The guy who owns all the Betamax players in your province.The canonical paths to becoming a Laserdisc collector.All the criteria used to curate the Criterion Collection.The advantages and disadvantages of CAV discs over CLV.Getting off the couch to flip the disc over halfway through the movie.Asking your robot butler to flip the Laserdisc over.Potoooooooo.Seeing the name of the Wii for the first time and wondering if it's a typo for World War 2 or if it's a typo for WiFi.Finding the They Live sunglasses and finally being able to read the Snickers ads.The three racehorses that all thoroughbred racehorses are descended from.Knowing more about the history of racehorses than about your own family tree, because racehorses are worth more than people.War booty from the battle of Vienna.The General Studbook.Going blind in one eye from staying up for three days straight doing logarithms.Bell Right Hooks and Cuban Menstrual Crisis.Whether the clown face registry still exists for juggalos.Nothing Sweet About Bees.What happened to bread?Your basic 4:3 bread vs. 4K ultra-wide bread.Your favorite toaster from the 1940s.A four slice toaster kind of day.Making food better with science and it's going to be way better than nature because it's science.Convincing Mr. Smeg not to put his name on the toasters his company manufactures.What market research firm decided that podcast listeners want underwear and mattresses.Constant angular velocity: the only way to rewind a movie.A magnetic poetry set that includes the word "Kafkaesque."How Kafkaesque the miscreant insects are.Whether Jim has ever touched any other human being.How Zoomers don't know about Graggle Simpson.A possible scenario that is metaphysically close to our own.How metaphysically close Canada is to the United States.Getting up at 4pm every day and bowling.A 3D model recreation of five-pin bowling.The amount of data visualization competence that went into dimensions.com.Candlepin and Duckpin bowling.The dimensions of various famous bowlers.Getting a parakeet and finding out how much water it displaces.Making a flask out of a parakeet so people think you just brought your pet parakeet to work and aren't drinking on the job.Buying a propane tank to use as a water bottle.What's wrong with Jim's listeners?Karate tournaments in the 80s and 90s.Assuming Avery's identity and looking in the mirror.To Mock A Mockingbird.Certified Bird Mockers.