Topic Lords

141. Toast In Its Original Format

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Lords:

  • Avery
  • Jesse

    • Topics:

    • Laserdisc
    • Tracing the lineage of racehorses on Wikipedia
    • Bread is too wide to fit in toasters
    • https://twitter.com/mogwai_poet/status/1335354217335148546/photo/1
    • Variants of bowling, now mostly lost to history, are like glimpses into possible worlds metaphysically close to our own

      • Microtopics:

      • How to sound like a douchebag if you are a programmer who lives in Oakland.
      • A Social Security Number that has way too many sixes in it.
      • A disc that is the same size as an LP but looks like a CD and has a movie on it.
      • Arcade games breaking whenever you transport them.
      • Laserdiscs rusting.
      • Integrating the likely degradation of the viewing medium into the piece itself.
      • The Matrix on Betamax.
      • The guy who owns all the Betamax players in your province.
      • The canonical paths to becoming a Laserdisc collector.
      • All the criteria used to curate the Criterion Collection.
      • The advantages and disadvantages of CAV discs over CLV.
      • Getting off the couch to flip the disc over halfway through the movie.
      • Asking your robot butler to flip the Laserdisc over.
      • Potoooooooo.
      • Seeing the name of the Wii for the first time and wondering if it's a typo for World War 2 or if it's a typo for WiFi.
      • Finding the They Live sunglasses and finally being able to read the Snickers ads.
      • The three racehorses that all thoroughbred racehorses are descended from.
      • Knowing more about the history of racehorses than about your own family tree, because racehorses are worth more than people.
      • War booty from the battle of Vienna.
      • The General Studbook.
      • Going blind in one eye from staying up for three days straight doing logarithms.
      • Bell Right Hooks and Cuban Menstrual Crisis.
      • Whether the clown face registry still exists for juggalos.
      • Nothing Sweet About Bees.
      • What happened to bread?
      • Your basic 4:3 bread vs. 4K ultra-wide bread.
      • Your favorite toaster from the 1940s.
      • A four slice toaster kind of day.
      • Making food better with science and it's going to be way better than nature because it's science.
      • Convincing Mr. Smeg not to put his name on the toasters his company manufactures.
      • What market research firm decided that podcast listeners want underwear and mattresses.
      • Constant angular velocity: the only way to rewind a movie.
      • A magnetic poetry set that includes the word "Kafkaesque."
      • How Kafkaesque the miscreant insects are.
      • Whether Jim has ever touched any other human being.
      • How Zoomers don't know about Graggle Simpson.
      • A possible scenario that is metaphysically close to our own.
      • How metaphysically close Canada is to the United States.
      • Getting up at 4pm every day and bowling.
      • A 3D model recreation of five-pin bowling.
      • The amount of data visualization competence that went into dimensions.com.
      • Candlepin and Duckpin bowling.
      • The dimensions of various famous bowlers.
      • Getting a parakeet and finding out how much water it displaces.
      • Making a flask out of a parakeet so people think you just brought your pet parakeet to work and aren't drinking on the job.
      • Buying a propane tank to use as a water bottle.
      • What's wrong with Jim's listeners?
      • Karate tournaments in the 80s and 90s.
      • Assuming Avery's identity and looking in the mirror.
      • To Mock A Mockingbird.
      • Certified Bird Mockers.

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        Topic LordsBy Jim Stormdancer
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