July 18, 2022

143. Your Face Is Looking A Little Impact Resistant

1 hour 4 minutes

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Lords:

Chall

https://twitter.com/MrChrisLHall

Jenni

https://twitter.com/horsewizrd

Topics:

Frogs evolved leaping before they evolved landing and a couple species haven't figured out the "landing" part yet.

https://defector.com/why-is-this-tiny-frog-so-awful-at-jumping/

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/horrifying-sculpture-depicts-human-evolved-survive-car-crash-180959878/

I got a weird device called a charachorder. Haven't used it yet though, it came 2 hours ago.

https://charachorder.com/products/charachorder-one

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_organ

Speedrun health hazards

"Bananas Bananas," by Greg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4aHhM624oI

I assumed the Chicago Bean would be kinda lame. I was wrong. It is super neat

Video games that are just a little place and you walk around and maybe go to a museum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnTeqsh47jw

Esper says: Speaking of low-stress games about existing in a space, I am forced by the powers of self-promotion to mention my own Hang Out In The Basement Simulator, a game about chilling in a basement. There's a nerf gun, a little guitar you can strum a few notes on, records, and over 30 hours of watchable TV (all scraped from little Internet Archive weirdnesses). https://aceofwands.itch.io/hoitbs

Microtopics:

Nose Goes.

Allergy medication that does not make you drowsy.

Coming out of the womb sleep-deprived.

Jenni from the Blockchain.

Pokemon Gockchain.

A good speedrun idea for somebody else.

Watching Mario 64 let's-plays to distract us from the disaster of our own interiority.

Why Can't the Pumpkin Toadlet Land?

Landing in a t-pose and rigid-bodying your way into a pratfall.

Which frog would win the X Games of frogs?

The distant future when everyone has evolved to survive car crashes and nobody is allowed to wear a shirt in the payroll department.

An editorial team choosing what links will go on the front page.

Photoshop This Tractor.

"Gone drinking" as a euphemism for crashing into a lake.

The history of social media on the internet.

Choosing the most obnoxious possible video to be your Zoom background.

What's stopping developers from compiling ffmpeg to Webassembly and including it in every web page.

Chorded word entry.

Getting an exciting new keyboard where it takes you three minutes to type youtube.com.

Switching keyboard layouts to fix your abysmal typing posture.

A very dim room full of typewriters.

Thinking about the cubic watermelons.

Another one from the Deck of Old Memes.

Whether Plato ever got to prove his cave allegory correct.

RSI in the speedrunning scene.

Waving your right hand up and down for twelve hours a day.

Hypertapping.

Tap to Survive!

Clickers that require you to watch the game run to efficiently progress.

The deep crevasse where Cookie Clicker lives in your brain.

Getting RSI from watching speedruns all the time.

Coping with the mental anguish of speedrunning.

Leomard Sportsinterviews.

Making a mixtape of yourself playing clarinet and your younger brother reading poems, for your girlfriend Sara.

Your vengeful ex-girlfriend turning you in to VEVO for music piracy using the mixtape you gave her as proof.

Using music to anchor a repeated moment.

Using this episode of Topic Lords to score your morning routine.

Warrant canaries.

Bananas: they're underground.

The return of the Banana Box.

The tropical fruit that tastes like mayonnaise.

The cheese of the sea.

Cloud Gate in Millennium Park.

Chicago Bean Radiation.

Walking through the Chicago Bean and getting mirrored left to right and subsequently only being able to digest animals that also wandered through the Chicago Bean that you catch and kill.

Wearing a hospital wrist band informing your duel opponent that your internal organs are mirrored left to right.

Mirror image twins.

Fighting little ASCII bears and solving exploding bomb puzzles.

What you do in Proteus.

The game where you hit the ball back and forth over a net.

A board game where you vacation in feudal Japan.

The Museum of Other Realities.

Seiklus and Gebub's Adventure.

A place to wander while interesting things happen to you.

The talking tree that says "invest in leaves."

Legends of Murder.

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By Jim Stormdancer

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