April 28, 2026

#145 Why So Many Successful Men Feel Empty

2 hours 1 minute

What if success isn’t something you achieve… but something you become?

In this powerful episode of the Different Hats Podcast, I sit down with Volker Ballueder, coach, therapist, author, and host of Stories of Success, for a deep conversation about what success really means in today’s world.

After interviewing high performers and building a successful corporate career, Volker realised that money, status, and external validation were never the full answer. Like many people, he discovered that reaching society’s version of success can still leave you feeling empty.

Together, we explore the difference between success and fulfilment, why so many men silently struggle under pressure, and how emotional intelligence may be one of the most important skills we never get taught.

We also discuss comparison culture, social media, midlife reflection, mindfulness, education, parenting, and the importance of helping young people define success for themselves, not through grades, job titles, or wealth, but through values, purpose, connection, and inner peace.

This episode is for anyone questioning the path they’re on… feeling the pressure to keep achieving… or searching for a more meaningful definition of success.

Volker shares honest reflections on chasing money earlier in life, how redundancy pushed him toward coaching and therapy, and why helping others now feels more rewarding than any corporate milestone ever did.

We also talk openly about men’s mental health, suicide prevention, vulnerability, and why asking one simple question, You Alright Mate?, can change lives.

A thoughtful, honest, and timely conversation about identity, fulfilment, masculinity, and what it means to live a life true to yourself.

⏱️ CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction

02:10 You Alright Mate?

03:10 How Volker Defines Success

04:45 Chasing Money vs Finding Fulfilment

07:45 Lifelong Learning & Education

10:40 School Systems & Different Types of Intelligence

15:30 Emotional Intelligence in Schools

24:00 Creativity, Curiosity & Child-Led Learning

28:40 Comparison Culture & Social Media

31:55 Living True to Yourself

38:50 What High Achievers Taught Volker About Success

45:10 Why Purpose Matters More Than Money

55:30 Being Enough As You Are

59:55 Midlife Crisis or Midlife Awakening?

1:03:10 Why Men Don’t Talk

1:08:20 Vulnerability Is Strength

1:17:40 Preventing Crisis Before It Happens

1:22:40 Mindfulness & Self-Awareness

1:31:15 Habits of Successful People

1:45:15 What To Do If You’re Struggling

1:54:55 Advice to Younger Volker

1:55:34 What Does A Life Well Lived Look Like?

🎧 LISTEN TO MORE DIFFERENT HATS EPISODES:

👉 https://www.different-hats.co.uk/podcast

🔗 Connect with Volker Ballueder

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ballueder/

Website: https://obnat.us/

https://volkerballueder.com/

💡 If this episode resonated with you, please like, share, and comment below. Your support helps us spread this important message and change the narrative around success and mental health.