Topic Lords

153. I Can't Wait For My Cockroach Lipids

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Lords:

  • James
  • Avery

    • Topics:

    • Stone paper
    • "The Flashing Blade"
    • The Number Ones
      • https://www.stereogum.com/category/columns/the-number-ones/
      • https://www.americanpoems.com/poets/stanley-kunitz/king-of-the-river/
      • BREAKING NON MAMMALIAN MILK NEWS!! Sorry mammals, cockroaches make milk and it is considered a complete food

        • Microtopics:

        • The latest on whether or not you've been canceled.
        • Spotify rejecting your album because you don't believe in yourself enough.
        • Spagbol.
        • The very one that is being digested by you now.
        • thisbolognesedoesnotexist.com
        • Paper that is 60% stone.
        • The price you pay for participating in art.
        • Coffee that is more powerful than a laptop.
        • What happens if you try to shred margarine.
        • Documents only for the document control society.
        • The Novelty FBI raiding your house and confiscating your Novelty Top Secret Documents and hiding them in their fake Groucho Marx glasses.
        • The guy who bought the last 100 Groucho Marx glasses from Party City.
        • Moustache Ninja.
        • Why more people aren't talking about Moustache Ninja.
        • The height of Pirate Ninja Robot Mustache Mania.
        • Ankle Biter Man.
        • Atrocities Guide.
        • One of many reasons why real life superheroes are a bad idea.
        • Superheroes: police except there is no oversight whatsoever.
        • Avery's Angels on Phoenix Jones.
        • If Seattle police arrest you for being nude, they are legally obligated to provide you with a dinner jacket for your jail stay.
        • Heath Ledger instructing the audience to charge their shower.
        • The Masked Magician Revealed.
        • TV stage magic.
        • David Copperfield raising the Titanic.
        • The Cheap Trick song that got to #1.
        • The songs that hit #1 because General Hospital used them on the soundtrack.
        • An antidote to the idea that music used to be better.
        • Breaking Up is Hard to Do.
        • Finding a way to enjoy art that you didn't like before.
        • Getting old and liking boring music.
        • What radio formats overlap with Beautiful Music.
        • A foam snake that shoots thirty feet into the air and then drifts into a nearby tree.
        • Tumbling over the rocks until you paint them with your belly's blood.
        • That other flesh, heavy with milt, bruised, battering toward the dam that lips the orgiastic pool.
        • Limber and firm in the state of his shining, forever inheriting his salt kingdom, from which he is banished forever.
        • The most animalistic and primitive part of your consciousness.
        • An Atari 2600 game inspired by a poem about a fish.
        • The level in Dante's Inferno where you have to fight unbaptized babies.
        • A game with one foot in the majesty of Greek mythology and the other foot in what it's like to bash someone's head into the concrete.
        • A great use of thumbsticks.
        • Whether Wisdom Tree would've published the Dante's Inferno video game.
        • Spending your entire life obsessed with the pear you stole as a kid.
        • An illumination of someone kneeling in front of a pear tree and weeping.
        • Pop songs about relationship situations.
        • An idea that is not as old as music.
        • A piece of music going right for the emotion, like the Windows Startup Sound.
        • Melody in lyrics, in conversation with each other.
        • Seeing a person and drawing a stick figure.
        • How do I get too much into my own head?
        • Why you're turning into a fish, and what the fish represents.
        • Sea Monkeys' Garden of Earthly Delights.
        • Do we want to get to the Cockroach Milk?
        • Being accosted on the street by Topic Lords fans asking for non-mammalian milk news but you're like "sorry I'm saving this for Topic Lords"
        • How many cockroaches it takes to make one serving of cockroach milk.
        • Sobbing in front of the slab of meat that Rocky punched.
        • Pouring cockroach milk onto stone paper to prove its resiliency.

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          Topic LordsBy Jim Stormdancer
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