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Kenneth Parks showed up at his local police station in a haze. He was covered in blood. His hands were horribly injured. He was confused, but horrified. He told police, “I think I have just killed two people.” In fact, he’d just murdered his mother-in-law, Barbara Ann Woods. He’d attempted to murder his father-in-law, Dennis Woods as well, but Dennis survived the attack. But why did Kenneth attack his in-laws? Prosecutors said he did it because he didn’t want to tell them about his gambling addiction. But Kenneth’s defense argued he hadn’t intended to attack his in-laws at all. He’d committed the crime while sleepwalking.

Then Kristin tells us about a former army ranger who was down on his luck. Pat Sabo was back in his hometown of Eastlake, Ohio. Money was tight. He’d had a few run-ins with the law. That’s when an old high school friend named Christine Metter connected with him on Facebook. The pair hadn’t talked in nearly 20 years, but they quickly bonded over stories about their ex’s. Christine, in particular, wouldn’t shut up about her ex, David. She and David were recently divorced, and he was seeking primary custody of their daughters. Christine was pissed. So, Pat made an innocent joke. He said, “save your money and hire a hitman! LMAO.” Pat was kidding. But Christine took him seriously.   

And now for a note about our process. For each episode, Kristin reads a bunch of articles, then spits them back out in her very limited vocabulary. Brandi copies and pastes from the best sources on the web. And sometimes Wikipedia. (No shade, Wikipedia. We love you.) We owe a huge debt of gratitude to the real experts who covered these cases.

“Eastlake Conspiracy” episode of Dateline

“‘Have Fun,’ Says Dad Trying To Hire A Hitman To Off His Daughter’s Ex,” by Daniel Egitto for Oxygen.com

“Ex-husband Statement At Wife’s Murder-For-Hire Sentencing,” News 5 Cleveland on YouTube

“Facebook Murder-for-Hire Conviction Gets Woman 10 Years,” by Nikki Ferrell for Patch.com

“Christine Metter Gets Maximum 10-Year Setnence For Trying to Hire Hit Man To Kill Ex-Husband,” by Tracey Read for The News-Herald

Clips from Oxygen’s “Murder For Hire” episode, “Daddy’s Girl”

“A Bump in the Night: When Sleepwalkers Turn Violent” by Matt Soniak, Mental Floss

“Sleepwalking man’s excuse in death of mother-in-law” The Ottawa Citizen

“Innocent By Reason Of…” by Ken MacQueen, The Ottawa Citizen

“Jury acquits sleepwalker in attempted murder case” The Windsor Star

“Sleepwalking Canadian Walks On Murder Charge” by Toronto Globe and Mail, The Chicago Tribune

“Man Acquitted Of Sleepwalking Murder Running For School Trustee In Durham” by News Staff, City News Toronto