So often, ladies will feedback to me that they “did not know how to push” or that they they were told that they were “doing it wrong.” I am always dismayed when I hear these stories because pushing is instinctive when you work with your body and what you are feeling. You will use the same muscles and techniques as you do when you pass a stool and nobody has ever told you that you are doing it wrong and I am certain that you know exactly what you are doing when you go to the toilet every day. There is never any second guessing yourself of wondering if you are doing it correctly. You just feel an urge to go to the bathroom to have a poo, you sit on the loo and you do it. In saying that, it would not be so easy if you sat on the loo trying to have poo without having any urge to do so. I mean you could sit there for hours, push until you are blue in the face and still nothing would happen. This is what happens when you are instructed to push without the urge to do so and it is called "purple pushing." Being instructed to push against your body’s natural instinct does not improve anything or make things progress any faster and should not be encouraged if your baby is not in distress. The unwanted and unnecessary effects of purple pushing are: 

* Increased risk for tearing 

* Low maternal oxygen levels 

* Low maternal blood pressure 

* Exhaustion 

* Increased likelihood of interventions (episiotomies, assisted delivery, c-section) 

* Fetal distress 

* Potential problems with urinary continence after birth. 

**What if the staff are telling me that I am ready to push? **

In this case you would want to know if they are wanting you to push because there is a problem. Please note that if this situation occured, then it would most likely be after many hours of labor and you and your partner will be tired and ready to go with whatever is being suggested. It is not the ideal time for negotiation and questioning and I recommend that your partner takes the lead here as you will be “in the zone” and you do not want something like this to get you out of the zone. In fact as far as possible, you need to keep focusing on what is happening to you while your partner asks the following questions:

* Are you concerned about the baby? Is there any sign of fetal distress?

* Is there any immediate/urgent reason to encourage pushing now?

* Can we delay pushing until my partner feels the urge to push and if so, will you give us the time and space to allow this to happen without interruption. 

You can add that you have done significant preparation for your birth and that you understand how important it is that your partner is able to work with the natural urge to push. You understand that the baby needs to move into the best position for this to happen. You understand that when your baby’s head presses on receptors in the cervix and later in the vagina, your brain receives the signal to release more oxytocin which triggers strong, expulsive contractions known as the Ferguson’s reflex.  You might use this time to work together with your partner to change positions to encourage your baby to move down. Any position that opens the outlet of the pelvis will be good here so consider:

* forward leaning wide knee [child's pose](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqVMAPM00DM)

* a deep partner supported squat 

* the [side lying release](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_kMy5MWy8Q) done on both sides for 3 contractions on each side. 

**What else can I do to encourage my baby down? **

Your baby is being moved gradually down from the uterus, through the dilated cervix and into your vagina. Your contractions are still strong and regular and with every contraction your baby is being gently nudged down. Sometimes your contractions slow down in order to give you time to rest and gather your strength. Sheila Kitzinger calls this the "rest and be thankful" stage and it is merely a matter of time before your co