November 14, 2022

160. Dracula Never Brushes His Teeth

1 hour 5 minutes

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

Elena

Shannon

Topics:

I went to Burning Man and now maybe I don't bite my nails?

Pros and cons of vampirism

Krista and Tatiana Hogan are conjoined at the brain. They share thoughts, senses and control of their bodies.

"Gray cube, rectangular light"

https://codewriteplay.com/2019/09/10/legends-of-gamedev-clarissa-darling/

Microtopics:

Nominally saving everybody a big hassle but in fact completely failing to do the job.

Checking the double secret server.

Will Wood.

Listening to music but not learning a lot.

Biting your cuticles.

The Burning Man dust/paste situation.

Trying to get dust under your fingernails when you don't have fingernails.

Getting rid of the textures on your face which just causes more textures to happen.

A cuticle lab kit with fancy sticks and creams that you don't understand.

Nail-buffing cubes.

Losing some unpredictable aspect of your person at Burning Man.

A man made up of all the aspects of personalities that he stole from Burning Man attendees.

Leaving your nail biting behind in the temple.

Cutting your nails short ever since you got that gardening gig.

The weird traveling bruise you get when you hit your fingernail too hard.

Every shovelful had so much danger in it.

The perils of gardening barefoot.

Wearing gloves but not wearing shoes because you like the mud between your toes.

Dracula Daily.

Starting a mailing list for someone else's diary.

Couriers telling you that they delivered the boxes of soil and thanks for the shillings.

Explaining what a vampire is after the vampire is already dead.

Vampirism as a pyramid scheme.

Leaving and returning to your soldered-closed coffin at will.

God's meaner creatures.

Vampirism as a recipe for seasonal affective disorder.

What a bummer it'd be to discover that hell is real.

Living a thousand subjective years and learning a bunch of skills.

Getting up every night and finding a child to eat because that's all you have time for.

Dracula the trainspotter.

The Kirby dimension that his victims all go to and hang out together.

Offering value to the world that compensates for the person you have to kill and eat every day.

The guy in Dracula that is obsessed with technology and records his diary on wax cylinders but doesn't think to write the date on them.

Doctor C-Word.

The Blood of Manly Men.

God Sends Us Men When We Want Them.

Running out of manly blood but luckily a Texan shows up.

Affixing small electric lights to your chest so that you can explore a basement.

The spider that got so big that it was just a really big spider, you know, the really big spider everybody talks about.

How our intuition for what makes a person can be thrown off completely by simple biology.

Two brains that are slightly overlapped.

A closed system that can answer questions about itself.

Raising a child as if it is two people.

Split-brain patients.

Interpreting the two hemispheres of the brain as two individual people who are working in concert.

The storytelling part of our brain that we call consciousness.

Having control of three legs and an arm vs. three arms and a leg.

Trying to relate your subjective experience to other people.

What is the self?

A dog that likes another dog but doesn't like a different dog.

Cantilevered rainbows.

Clarissa Explains it All.

Clarissa Explains Indie Game Development.

Processing events in your life by making games about them.

Bringing out the special poetry lady to teach you poetry.

Writing a book of poetry where the typesetter also has to be a poet.

Writing a poem where you describe the scene from Fullmetal Alchemist where the two brothers burn down their house and your teacher is like "are you ok"

Writing a poem from the perspective of the piece of paper you're holding up to protect yourself from the rain and your poetry circle is like "I'm so sorry about your sister"

How to write a relatable poem.

The extra fridge that holds the food that you don't ever actually eat.

Who's got the tiger with the baseball bat?

Fragments of different jagged shapes.

Zero-Inbox Your Fridge.

Support Topic Lords

...more

View all episodes

By Jim Stormdancer

4.8

1212 ratings