"Extant bitches will thrive." Like TJ Oshie introducing Dylan Strome to the Caps polycule, Eva, Kelly, and Rave are re-introducing each other to the hot goss from the NHL offseason. (But not the Avs' Cup celebrations, because like the Avs, once we get started on that one we're not gonna stop.) Plus: Divining what's in store for a few teams based on classic novel plotlines. This episode was recorded on October 2, 2022.

Listen to an extended version of the Novel Plots game (and support us!) on Patreon @ patreon.com/youcantdothat and check out our merch @ shop.spreadshirt.com/you-cant-do-that.

Bonus reading:
Inside the Capitals’ locker room: Who sits where? How did they end up there? (The Athletic, September 2022)

Drama Behind Scenes With Jets Is a Bigger Problem Than Most Realize (NHL Trade Talk, May 2022)

Report: Patrik Laine Revealed Reason for Leaving Winnipeg - Rude Treatment in Locker Room (NoVa Caps, January 2021)

Timecodes: (3:00) Capitals check-in | (25:21) The Kraken’s mascot | (32:30) We need to talk about Winnipeg | (46:22) Recent retirees | (55:00) Additional thoughts: Caps’ rookies, Eva’s Red Wings, Geno’s hot bitch summer | (1:04:20) Novel Plots