We’re at the point where we know a b******t attempt to commodify our burnout when we see it. No one’s buying the self-care spiel the bath bomb companies are selling us. But the rhetoric of self-care has crept into the workplace, family dynamics, and TikTok therapy speak, usually divorced from any critique of the systems that make self-care feel necessary in the first place. Pooja Lakshmin MD, author of Real Self-Care, joins the pod to answer your very smart questions about contemporary self-care in workplace trainings, in conversations encouraging everyone to GET A HOBBY!, and in advice to perfectionist women to “lower the bar.” Pooja is so clear-eyed and compassionate — and I think this episode will make you feel seen and challenged.

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I grew up skiing at a mid-size mountain in the middle of Idaho. I wasn’t ever an athletic kid, but skiing — it made me feel fast and really good at something. I loved it: the routine, the long slog to the mountain, the Cup of Soup for lunch, the crappy hotels, the freedom. But the ski culture that I grew up with is largely gone, at least in the U.S. — and I’ve spent the last few years coming to terms with how industrial shifts, climate change, conglomeration, the explosion of the unregulated short-term rental market have changed not only who can learn to ski, but who can keep doing it.

Heather Hansman, author of Powder Days, is the perfect co-host to grapple with your questions about the future of skiing, ski towns, and ski culture, including all the business nitty-gritty (and a frank discussion of what can make ski people so annoying). This is a ski conversation, but it’s also a conversation about housing, and class, and city planning — and the commodification of hobbies. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

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Let me start with this: this is a dream interview. If, like me, you spent a lot of time in the 2000s and 2010s reading about celebrity online, Go Fug Yourself was an essential part of your online diet. Heather and Jessica were simply unrivaled when it came to celebrity fashion in general and red carpet fashion in particular. I idolized them the same way I idolized Lainey Gossip — both of whom I read alongside all of my graduate texts in star studies. The problem with those star studies is that they were always rooted in the past. But The Fug Girls and Lainey, they were doing the analysis now, on celebs who were desperately (and often unsuccessfully) attempting to navigate the new, digital gossip landscape — and that’s how they became part of my dissertation, on the history of celebrity gossip, themselves.

That’s why it’s such an absolute f-ing treat to talk to Heather and Jessica about the present and future of celebrity gossip: they have the context. They know the history. We talk about Deuxmoi, sourcing, blinds, accounting for past shittiness, so much. Melody had to jump in like 17 times to make us explain various peak 2000s gossip terms here, so if you were part of that universe (HELLO, TOOTHY TILE) you will love this episode — but if you weren’t, and you just appreciate an introspective look at how celebrity discourse works, you’ll love this, too (in part because Melody made us explain stuff, she’s the best).

Note: This episode was recorded just before the Blake Lively/New York Times bombshell so don’t get mad that we don’t mention it!!

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Thrifting has a smell, but it also has a feel. For me, the feel is of thick, almost indestructible rayon weaves; of dense, mothbally wool; of slick, ancient crinoline; of stiff and generously cut denim. It was the feel of handstitching on a dress made from a pattern, or a cracked logo on a company picnic shirt from 1975. It was not the feel of shopping at Forever 21, even though the prices were approximately the same. Like so many of you, at various points in my life I’ve relied on thrift stores for resilient everyday clothes and delightful dress-up/costume accoutrements.

But thrifting has changed dramatically over the last fifteen years — and it’s never been more popular. In this episode, Kelsey Vlamis and I break down all the reasons for its its transformation, from the rise of fast fashion to influencers making haul videos. Plus: there’s a thrifting mystery we’d love to solve; listen and see if you can help us!

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No matter where you spend your time, online or off, you’ve encountered some form of therapy speak. Maybe it comes from a friend who loves processing their therapy with others; maybe it suffuses your TikTok FYP; maybe your friends or family members have been using it to try and describe how they’re trying to foster and maintain healthy relationships; or maybe you’ve just been keeping up on the latest celebrity gossip. It’s everywhere — and as you’ll find in this episode, tracing its proliferation will lead you in so many fascinating (and complex!) directions. I’ll be real: I knew this episode would be interesting; I didn’t know it would be this interesting.

As soon as I heard about the new podcast Bad Therapist — cohosted by psychotherapist Ash Compton and New Yorker journalist Rachel Monroe — I knew they’d be the perfect people to help answer all of your questions about therapy speak. This is complicated s**t! We’re talking about language that is often super useful to people… but can also be weaponized (GAH, THERAPY SPEAK) to inoculate those using it from critique. Weirdly, I feel like it’s the perfect New Year’s Day episode? I can’t wait to hear your thoughts about all of it.

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As an Registered Auntie, I get to watch kids’ toy trends from the backseat. I’ve bought annoying things (sorry, parent friends) and learned how to play new things (Beyblades, I rule) and passed down precious things (all of my My Little Ponies from the ‘80s). We could talk forever about the merits of various toys, past and present, but your listener questions this week underline that there’s also a tremendous amount of anxiety and class signaling absorbed by kids’ toys.

So this episode, featuring toy expert Youngna Park, has it all: light nostalgia, unpacking the obsession with wooden toys, getting to the heart of why grandparents give “junky” gifts, and, of course, talking about what kids actually like when it comes to toys. If you didn’t have Big Toy Feelings before, you will after this one.

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Sometimes we do episodes where I know a fair amount about the subject and end up on a three minute digression about picture palaces. And sometimes I’ve only started to learn about a topic — or read within a genre — and am absolutely thrilled to spend an hour listening to someone else’s expertise. That’s what we’re doing today with queer romance writer Adib Khorram: tackling your questions on everything from how to feel about queer romance written by straight people, why so many romance plots are M/M, where to find great trans romance, and so much more. And as with every episode in our romance series: you do not have to be an avid romance reader to find all of this interesting. (Although this episode might get you interested in becoming an avid romance reader!)

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What is Quince and why is it everywhere? Who is running Albion Fit? Who buys clothes at Altar’d State? Why is Madewell so sad? This is an explainer episode, but it’s also a brands-feelings processing episode, because any time millennials try and talk about how J.Crew or Madewell has changed, they’re also talking about how their own feelings about fashion have changed. And no one understands the rhythms of brands quite like Caroline Moss, the host and curator of the Gee Thanks Just Bought It extended universe. Listen as we attempt to answer all of your WTF-is-going-on-with-this-brand questions and hold space, as it were, for all of you big brand feelings… and tell us what brand still mystifies you!

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Sometimes I forget just how many classes I took on the history of cinema — or that I used to teach a class on it! — but then I have a conversation like the one you’re about to listen to and remember: oh right, I am a huge film history dork. This episode, featuring the brilliant Hannah McGregor, travels all over the past, present, and future of the blockbuster, from the theory of the “whammy,” to Hannah’s book on Jurassic Park, from Barbie to Twisters, from why we started going to the movies to why we’ve (largely) stopped. It’s a ROMP and incredibly listenable — perfect for wherever you’re driving or to have on in the background while you chop one million brussels sprouts.

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I could talk about Nicole Kidman for hours. Very few Hollywood actors have had careers this varied, this delightful, this weird — oh, and she’s also been married to Tom Cruise. She manages to be both chronically underestimated and overrated, and she’s recently found herself in a slew of roles where she embodies a slew of different rich white ladies, each miserable in their own specific ways. For this episode, I’m joined by the great Sam Sanders to talk about our own Kidman Syllabi and answer your questions about her most recent roles, (not) aging onscreen, and what makes her such an effective miserable rich person.

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