It feels weird to call yourself a “None,” but according to demographers, that’s what I am: one of millions of Americans who understand themselves as “religiously unaffiliated.” That means atheists, agnostics, and people who answer “nothing in particular” when asked if they practice a religion. Today, Nones make up 28% of the U.S. population — up from 16% in 2007. But just because you’re religiously unaffiliated doesn’t mean you don’t want some of the things that often come with religion: ritual, community, ethics, care. So what does that look like? How do we find it while also avoiding culty wellness s**t?

Fellow None (and atheist Jew) Vanessa Zoltan, who’s currently teaching a class at Harvard on spiritual care for the non-religious, is here to help answer all your questions.

(Also note: this one’s for Nones and Non-Nones, people with a lot of religious experience and people with very little, people repelled by religion and people hungry for it. It might not seem like something in your wheelhouse, but if you’re interested, broadly, in ideas about friends, community, how to have serious conversations, and why people get really really into Crossfit, you’re going to love it)

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Why does every person who runs marathon want to convince you that you too could run one? What makes running clubs so intimidating? When people get into running, why can’t they shut the hell up about it? I’ve asked avowed non-marathoner Raziq Rauf, author of the newsletter Running Sucks, to help address all of your running culture related questions. Yes, we’re both runners; but we’re also both runners who are very willing to admit that running does often suck — and also willing to interrogate the cultures (of performance, of optimization) that percolate around it. (Plus: why academics get so into running, how people use Strava as a social/dating app, and how to find people who run your pace!) Raz might have even convinced me to try a running club. Maybe. Okay probably not.

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When With Love, Meghan — the Netflix lifestyle show starring Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex — first came out, I knew the only way I wanted to even touch that discourse was by talking about the show, as a show. How does it conform to or reject our understanding of what a lifestyle program should look it? What’s Meghan’s twist? And what’s going on with the (predictably) weird way I knew people would respond to it?

Luckily, Lilah Raptopolous — cohost of one of our most popular episodes ever, on figuring out what to make in the world of infinite recipes — wanted to talk about all the same stuff. Namely: is this an aspirational show? A relatable one? Does it have to be one or other other? Why did Netflix make such weird editing choices? How do we balance a protective impulse of Meghan, given all the very real sh*t she’s endured, with an understanding that some of the decisions on this show are just odd?

Lilah, Melody, and I tried to be really thoughtful in the way that we approached this discussion — and I think you’ll hear that in episode. (In many ways, a podcast is the perfect place to have this sort of complicated, dynamic discussion). With that said: if you’re not in the mood to hear analysis of some of the show’s shortcomings, this might not be the episode for you. But if you want to sort through your own feelings (or just want to hear us sort ours!), I think this episode’s pretty great — in large part because your questions were so layered and good.

Today’s episode is sponsored by Ollie. Dogs deserve the best, and that means fresh, healthy food. Head to Ollie.com/CULTURE, tell them all about your dog, and use code CULTURE to get 60% off your Welcome Kit when you subscribe today! Plus, they offer a Clean Bowl Guarantee on the first box, so if you’re not completely satisfied, you’ll get your money back.

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This all started with my desire to do a Paul Mescal episode. A listener suggested we ask Caroline O’Donoghue — author of The Rachel Incident, host of Sentimental Garbage, noted Irish person — to be co-host. We reached out, and (gasp!) she responded that she didn’t actually know that much about Paul… but would be more than happy to do an episode about the “Irishification of pop culture.” Since my interest in Irish men (and movies, books, music, television, poetry) by no means starts with Paul Mescal, I was thrilled.

And let me tell you: this episode is fascinating. Hilarious, expansive, weird — and I promise you it will make you see Irish Pop Culturification in a different way (and perhaps appreciate Paul Mescal even more). It will certainly make you appreciate Caroline O’Donoghue, who made me laugh on mic more than any previous co-host. She’s brilliant, and this episode is so weird and good (one of those ones where we finished recording and Melody and I immediately texted each other: AMAZING). As always, I can’t wait for your thoughts — come join the conversation in the comments!

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If you’re a historical romance person, all I need to say is: Sarah MacLean is here, and she is answering all the questions. If you’re not a historical romance person, I’ll spell it out a little more: Sarah MacLean is one of the most popular writers of historical romance today — and she’s also the cohost of the incredibly popular podcast Fated Mates. She’s a very good pod conversationalist, which is one of many reasons we wanted to have her on the show (that and I knew it would make Melody faint if she said yes). We talk about how the conventions and constrictions of the historical genre allow for feminist play and provocation, how historicals handle virginity, why author’s first books are so often the most compelling, and so, SO much more. If you’re a longtime fan (of the genre, of Sarah), you’re going to absolutely love this; if not, we’ve got so many recommendations for starting points. I hope you enjoy this one as much as we enjoyed recording it!

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Last month, I published an interview in the newsletter with Dana Miranda about “budget culture” — and it became one of the most popular (and discussed) interviews I’ve done since I first launched the newsletter. At the time, I asked for questions for Dana about specific myths of budget culture for us to unpack. We got dozens of those — plus a bunch of compelling follow-up questions, like “what’s the difference between knowing how much money goes in and out of your account and ‘budget culture’” and “is YNAB budget culture?”

We tackle all of that and much, much more, with a bonus prolonged guest appearance from Melody about her experience with Dave Ramsey (which included cutting up her credit card in front of her class and sparked the worst fight of her marriage). I loved this conversation and have been thinking about it for weeks; I think you will too.

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I love old movies — but I didn’t always! In fact, I needed many years of directed classwork to fall in love with them. But if you’re not in the mood to pause your life and take on significant graduate debt, THERE ARE STILL OPTIONS, and Margaret H. Willison and I are here to offer them. In this episode, we offer specific suggestions to listeners based on short lists of their (recent) film favs, talk about “aesthetic friction” and how to overcome it, strongly invite you to put your phone in the other room, and travel all over film history in a very earnest attempt to help you find your own entry point into the expansive mansion that is “old movies,” broadly defined.

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What makes something ~Dad~? Is it pleated Dockers? A worn baseball cap? Asking (again) if you’ve checked your oil? Incompetency in the domestic sphere paired with competency outside of it? I’ve long loved thinking through both the serious and the ridiculous of Dad Culture, and for today’s episode, we have an actual scholar of it (Phil Maciak, currently hard at work on a Dad Culture book) to unpack the history and theory of Dadness, including: do you have to be a dad to be part of Dad Culture (no) is Dad Culture just white middle-class boomer dads (also no) and is Bandit from Bluey too good of a Dad (maybe). Listen on, and let’s Dad It Up.

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I know a lot about historic Hollywood feuds. I could do an entire episode just on the magazine covers featuring Elizabeth Taylor, Eddie Fisher, and Debbie Reynolds circa 1959. But to do any episode on Celebrity Feuds right — particularly one that airs just days before Kendrick Lamar performs at the Super Bowl — I knew I needed a different sort of celebrity feud expert. When Joel Anderson, host of three blockbuster seasons of Slow Burn (including a canonical one on Biggie + Tupac), agreed to come on the show, I legitimately let out a little scream of delight. He has so much knowledge, context, and perspective; this episode is a dream come true.

***Note: This episode was recorded before the Grammys, and we didn’t correctly predict Beyonce’s AOTY win nor Kendrick Lamar’s FIVE awards for “Not Like Us.”***

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We’re at the point where we know a b******t attempt to commodify our burnout when we see it. No one’s buying the self-care spiel the bath bomb companies are selling us. But the rhetoric of self-care has crept into the workplace, family dynamics, and TikTok therapy speak, usually divorced from any critique of the systems that make self-care feel necessary in the first place. Pooja Lakshmin MD, author of Real Self-Care, joins the pod to answer your very smart questions about contemporary self-care in workplace trainings, in conversations encouraging everyone to GET A HOBBY!, and in advice to perfectionist women to “lower the bar.” Pooja is so clear-eyed and compassionate — and I think this episode will make you feel seen and challenged.

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