Topic Lords

181. My Own Personal Kennedy Assassination


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Lords:

  • Avery
  • Tyriq
  • Topics:

    • Adam, Father of all humankind, was maybe a giant
    • Heathcliff is still going and it's weird
    • I've heard a million novelty metal covers but still nobody's done Truly Scrumptious / Doll on a Music Box from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
    • "The Phone Call" by James Tate
    • Microtopics:

      • Withholding all your best URLs until the end of the episode.
      • Using lowercase Ls in place of Is and seeing if anybody notices.
      • Leaving capitalizations to the whims of chaos. (Your fingers.)
      • Teachers explaining that if you can't write in cursive by junior high your teachers will throw things at you and call you stupid.
      • Adam and Eve growing to 18 feet tall.
      • Pre-flood humans and their towering heights/lifespans/IQs.
      • How to make your wisdom teeth fit again.
      • Conspiracy theories that have no bearing on anything.
      • Fighting wars over the estimated radius of the earth.
      • The Nephilim.
      • YHWH fanfiction.
      • How many Jesuses are alive today.
      • The friend you have with superhuman charisma and whether they ended up starting a cult.
      • Getcherself a nice cult, settle down, have a thousand babies.
      • The guy who was both a dwarf and a giant during his lifetime.
      • Every tall person having been short at one point.
      • Chain-smoking tweens drinking martinis and yelling at their secretaries.
      • A Topic Lords ouroboros.
      • Hypothesizing why the elderly people Heathcliff lives with have a child.
      • Having a child for some reason.
      • A humanoid robot with the word "meat" printed on its chest.
      • The kind of people who read comics every day.
      • Zippy the Pinhead.
      • A weird underground subculture comic that somehow made it into newspaper syndication.
      • Mustache Mondays vs. Mustache Lasagna.
      • A milk mustache but for lasagna.
      • A cartoon anvil that has its weight imprinted on it.
      • Two side characters explaining the situation to each other.
      • One of the birds says to the other, "Christ, what an asshole."
      • Historians a thousand years from now deciding whether Heathcliff should be included in the Bible.
      • After recorded media stops being a thing, episodes of The Simpsons being passed down as oral history.
      • Rhapsodes.
      • Contests for the best rhapsode.
      • Hector of the Shining Helmet vs. Hector the Booty Inspector.
      • Fillet episodes in the Odyssey and the Iliad.
      • The Flaming Lips album that comes on four CDs that your supposed to play simultaneously, but nobody's ever bothered.
      • How they handle hidden tracks on Spotify.
      • How to deal with skits when you're ripping rap albums to mp3.
      • The Meat Puppets playing a set in the middle of Nirvana'a MTV Unplugged set.
      • Writing a song about a shooting star who's been turned into a rat and has just fallen in love with someone named Tristran, and trying to figure out what rhymes with Tristran.
      • Working at the Brill Building.
      • Tin Pan Alley.
      • Nearly jumping out of your pants.
      • Taking a high-paying job as a murder victim.
      • The one where people wear horse skulls.
      • The Scrambler, from issue #12 where the panels were all out of order.
      • Working at the oil refinery until a giant spider comes and steals the Light of the Silmarils.
      • Whether there's a werewolf in the Silmarillion.
      • Biblical Exigesis.
      • Getting email saying that your art is improving someone's life.
      • A phone that can receive text messages but you have to pay extra to know who they're from.
      • Support Topic Lords

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        Topic LordsBy Jim Stormdancer

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