19 Year Old Shrink

In this episode I talk about the idea of wanting what you don’t have. Specifically what I’ve seen with a lot of my friends and even myself is the idea of losing interest in people that show too much interest.

Someone who you were initially interested in starts texting more often, getting to the point where they’re asking to hangout a lot more than you are. Or, maybe the situation is flipped. But, at face value, everything looks completely fine. Someone who you are interested in shows a lot of interest in you and you have that certainty, but you start to move away from them. You start distancing yourself, and trying not to reach out as much.

I’ve wondered why that is for years and finally got some insight from an article by Kaitlyn Wylde which attributes this to wanting the unattainable. The feeling of someone being more aloof gives you uncertainty and makes it more interesting, sparking greater admiration for them. This is only the beginning of the reasoning, but if this is something that you’ve always wondered, tune in!

Article: https://www.bustle.com/articles/144865-why-we-lose-interest-in-people-who-show-too-much-interest-in-us

Instagram: @19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode, I talk about the importance of taking a creative day. This is something that I’ve done in the past that’s not always easy. We spend so much of our time trying to respond to emails, get groceries done, do schoolwork, and succeed in jobs. And taking a day off from all of that sometimes gives us the idea that we are taking a step back.

But, what I’ve learned is that we’re actually taking a step “back” to take two steps forward. By having this free day, we are able to improve our attention spans because we have more time to focus on the things that we are passionate about instead of jumping from tab to tab and constantly living in the future while in the present.

In taking this day off where you don’t do anything with a deadline and focus on “feeding the soul” to be corny, it allows you to come back better when you do need to hit those deadlines. If you’re someone who has felt exhausted and is sacrificing all of the things they love and want for the things they feel obligated to do based on society, give this one a listen!

In this episode I sit down with my friend Will. He is a sociology major here at LMU and is VP of Recruitment for Agape, a service org on campus. During our talk, we learn about his upbringing as a child and how that led to his passion for destigmatizing mental health.

Stories of his father leaving and lack of acceptance for seeking outside help along with the great support from his mom fuel an in depth perspective of childhood impact on our lives.

Will later goes into his experience with the state of mental health on college campuses and what that looks like at LMU. From here we go into his influence that he has had with Agape, which seeks to help those with mental illnesses in a variety of different areas.

Lastly, we gain a good understanding of how to help someone who is struggling but doesn’t want to be helped, as well as the approach you could take when helping those older than you. Really cool being able to interview another college friend and looking forward to having more conversations like these.

Will Instagram: @willbrennann
Agape Instagram: lmuagape

In this one I talk about where I and others struggle to find that balance towards our Ikigai and what questions we need to ask ourselves in order to discover it. Some of those questions include:

What do you love?

What are you good at?

What does the world need from you?

What can you get paid for?

Many people might thrive in one specific area but are lacking in another, which causes doubt and insecurities to creep in. These doubts start to give us anxiety which makes us feel further away from ourselves. If you want to learn more about the concept and how to find more purpose, tune in!

In this episode I talk about aiming high and missing vs. aiming low and hitting. This is the idea of people including myself being afraid of having too high expectations and not reaching their goals.

And most of the time, people don’t fail completely, they just succeed at something that requires lower expectations. In this one I’ll talk about where I’ve been a victim of this and how to be ok with aiming high and missing and using it as a vehicle towards success.

In this episode I talk about our natural inclination towards worst case scenario thinking. With my own life, I’ve seen that I’ve naturally resorted to that way of thinking because it gives off the illusion of being more prepared.

We feel as though worrying about things has some sort of productive nature rather than allowing things to run their course and be at ease with it.

Something that has been said is the idea that when you might be worried about something you said or did, chances are it won’t be worst case scenario. But, we continue to buy into this thinking because of how our brains have been wired.

 If you are someone that  resorts to worst case scenario and wants to hear more advice, tune in!

In this episode I discuss the role that cognitive dissonance has when hurting other people. This state is the feeling of discomfort that we have when our actions or decisions aren’t in line with our beliefs and values. I experienced this recently this last week, and learned in class that there are three ways to reduce dissonance.

The first way to reduce dissonance is to change the behavior, the second being changing the cognition, and the third is adding a new cognition. I use an example of smoking to help solidify this idea and then apply it to how we can hurt other people. These three methods can be productive and also destructive and throughout this episode I emphasize how to reduce dissonance in the most productive way possible. 

In this one I talk about the reality of how our world is getting more competitive each and everyday. And finding ways to stand out is very important. One example I give is with handwriting letters. I used to laugh at my dad when he told me to do this, but now I realize how effective it was.

When applying to jobs or building relationships, it’s easy to fall into the crowd. “They were a good interview” “They were a nice person” is fine, but this is something that will allow others to remember you. You no longer become one among the many but one of the few. Other ideas I bring up are sending birthday texts a couple days before the date as well as remembering people's names after meeting them.  All of these helpers might seem small, but are what can separate you and make your name be more memorable. If you are looking for ways to stand out more, tune in!

In this episode, I interview Varun Gandhi, who is the host of “What’s your Story” show on YouTube and a successful soulpreneur that spends much of his time trying to help others reshape the stories they tell themselves. 

He originally was an environmental engineer who lacked direction in his life. This led to him feeling consistent pain in his solar plexus when he would wake up in the morning. He would continue to go back to the same job, but eventually listened to his body, and realized he needed to make a change in his life. 

This is where he dove into meditation and began tapping into the purpose that he has for himself now, and realized that it was to constantly look to help others. He is the founder of the Miracle Food Cleanse, and has put together “The Spiritual Block Party” which involves meditation practice, chakra activation, Tai Chi and more for members of the community. He has also fed over 160,000 people in the LA area, which is done consistently every Sunday. 

If you’re someone who is at a place in their life that might be lacking a purpose and doesn’t feel like they are fulfilled as much as they could be, this is definitely a good listen. And if you want to learn more about the rewarding nature that giving to others provides, Varun’s story is an excellent example of how to feel that. Tune in to learn more!

Website: drvarungandhi.com

IG: instagram.com/drvarungandhi

Donation drive: https://gofund.me/1cc0b725

In this episode I talk about how to get out of a creative rut. And to start, some people think that they aren’t creative at all. They think that they have to be an artist, musician, etc. to have creative ability. But even when applying for job or writing a speech, you need to use your creativity to deliver the most unique message possible to others. 

One of the tools I use for when I’m lacking that creativity is staring off into space. Sometimes when we meditate, we put pressure on ourselves to relax because we have that expectation of how it should turn out at the end. Meditation is an excellent resource that I use all the time, but  from my experience with creativity, just staring off into space is free of any expectation. And when we do this, that’s when we allow those thoughts to come into our mind that create breakthroughs for ideas. 

Another tool is going on a walk. Found from an article by the New Yorker, walking creates a feedback loop between our thoughts and the rhythm of our bodies, which isn’t as easy to experience when biking, running, or driving. And since we don’t need to put in as much conscious effort when walking, our mind is free to wander to anywhere it wants to go. 

Later on in the episode I’ll talk about how to be creative when dealing with deadlines and how to use your room to become more creative instead of less. If you have ever been stuck in a creative rut and want to learn more, tune in!