November 04, 2019

2. Conjure A False Gobot

1 hour 2 minutes

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

John is excited to be a Topic Lord

JP does stuff at http://vectorpoem.com/

Topics:

1:36 Horses will climb stairs but can't get back down again.

http://www.firecritic.com/2009/08/18/fire-pole-or-sliding-chute/

CLOP: http://www.foddy.net/CLOP.html

12:13 Do you get enough sleep? If so, how?

21:36 The ad for a movie sequel that was the entirety of the previous movie in the series.

The Wendy's tabletop RPG: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/10/dd-licious-wendys-now-has-a-tabletop-rpg-and-the-villain-is-frozen-beef/

Too Many Cooks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrGrOK8oZG8

Bandersnatch, the semi-interactive Black Mirror thing on Netflix: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Mirror%3A_Bandersnatch

Adaptation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptation_(film)

The weird trailer for Identity that preceded Adaptation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8fjyxM7DgU

35:34 How much work would it take to insert a fictional person into the historical record?

Fall; or, Dodge in Hell - A novel by Neal Stephenson about near-future technological advancements like uploading your consciousness to the cloud and curating your online existence: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fall;_or,_Dodge_in_Hell

49:18 John's recurring dream about seeing the wrong image and ending all levels of reality

Microtopics:

Lord enthusiasm.

Thinking of Ghostbusters because you can't imagine a firefighter.

Foraging for oats on the top floor of a fire station.

Installing a pole because your infant son can't descend stairs.

Finding a horse in a tree.

Playing CLOP to learn empathy for the descending horse.

Replacing a spiral staircase with a normal staircase.

The entire city burning down because the firefighters can't get past the horse that's stuck on the landing.

Becoming a morning person because of your government job.

Your child possibly loving the daycare lady more than he loves you.

Taking melatonin because you don't have the discipline for not looking at screens before bed.

The shitty dreams of melatonin boot camp.

Gnawing on the melatonin and leaving it on the nightstand for next time.

Your body getting stuck on a particular sleep schedule long past its relevance.

Hypothesizing how much long-lasting damage you did with your teenage sleep habits.

Focusing better because everyone else is asleep.

Working until 4am because you're being so productive.

Not knowing how ads work because you have an ad-blocker installed.

Finding about how ads work from an 11 year old.

Your alternate reality self who enjoys a good advertisement now and again.

Maintaining the pace of film trailers for over an hour.

Mistaking the trailer before the movie as being part of the movie.

Nobody being fooled by your fake trailer because people don't watch movies in theaters any more.

Avoiding watching Bandersnatch because you're a completionist.

The technical difficulties of adding late choice points to an otherwise linear film.

Being nostalgic for old UIs of web services.

Finding a web page that hasn't changed in 15 years.

Finding a web page that looks 15 years old but also has a mobile style sheet.

Editing an innocuous fact on Wikipedia that nobody will bother to fact-check.

Asking to view a historical document and sneaking in a quill pen and inkwell to modify it.

Citing your doctored document on Wikipedia.

Befriending a history professor and asking them to mention your fake Kansas senator in a published paper.

Falsifying movie running times just because you can get away with it.

Citing an obscure magazine as your source on Wikipedia because nobody will bother to check.

Clinging to the scraps of the past that you've salvaged from eBay and garage sale VHS tapes.

Poor documentation of pop culture leading to compelling mysteries.

Drowning true information with false information.

The downside of having a unique Google string.

Having repercussions on all levels of nested reality.

Dreams as really lazy storytelling.

Remembering facts without remembering their origin.

Getting stuck opening a door to mask dream loading time.

Making up any old bullshit and being convinced it's a Beatles rarity.

Desperately fleeing from the "The End" title card.

Realizing your dream is actually just the plot of The Neverending Story.

Support Topic Lords

...more

View all episodes

By Jim Stormdancer

4.8

1212 ratings

November 04, 2019

2. Conjure A False Gobot

1 hour 2 minutes

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early!

Lords:

John is excited to be a Topic Lord

JP does stuff at http://vectorpoem.com/

Topics:

1:36 Horses will climb stairs but can't get back down again.

http://www.firecritic.com/2009/08/18/fire-pole-or-sliding-chute/

CLOP: http://www.foddy.net/CLOP.html

12:13 Do you get enough sleep? If so, how?

21:36 The ad for a movie sequel that was the entirety of the previous movie in the series.

The Wendy's tabletop RPG: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2019/10/dd-licious-wendys-now-has-a-tabletop-rpg-and-the-villain-is-frozen-beef/

Too Many Cooks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrGrOK8oZG8

Bandersnatch, the semi-interactive Black Mirror thing on Netflix: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Mirror%3A_Bandersnatch

Adaptation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adaptation_(film)

The weird trailer for Identity that preceded Adaptation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8fjyxM7DgU

35:34 How much work would it take to insert a fictional person into the historical record?

49:18 John's recurring dream about seeing the wrong image and ending all levels of reality

Microtopics:

Lord enthusiasm.

Thinking of Ghostbusters because you can't imagine a firefighter.

Foraging for oats on the top floor of a fire station.

Installing a pole because your infant son can't descend stairs.

Finding a horse in a tree.

Playing CLOP to learn empathy for the descending horse.

Replacing a spiral staircase with a normal staircase.

The entire city burning down because the firefighters can't get past the horse that's stuck on the landing.

Becoming a morning person because of your government job.

Your child possibly loving the daycare lady more than he loves you.

Taking melatonin because you don't have the discipline for not looking at screens before bed.

The shitty dreams of melatonin boot camp.

Gnawing on the melatonin and leaving it on the nightstand for next time.

Your body getting stuck on a particular sleep schedule long past its relevance.

Hypothesizing how much long-lasting damage you did with your teenage sleep habits.

Focusing better because everyone else is asleep.

Working until 4am because you're being so productive.

Not knowing how ads work because you have an ad-blocker installed.

Finding about how ads work from an 11 year old.

Your alternate reality self who enjoys a good advertisement now and again.

Maintaining the pace of film trailers for over an hour.

Mistaking the trailer before the movie as being part of the movie.

Nobody being fooled by your fake trailer because people don't watch movies in theaters any more.

Avoiding watching Bandersnatch because you're a completionist.

The technical difficulties of adding late choice points to an otherwise linear film.

Being nostalgic for old UIs of web services.

Finding a web page that hasn't changed in 15 years.

Finding a web page that looks 15 years old but also has a mobile style sheet.

Editing an innocuous fact on Wikipedia that nobody will bother to fact-check.

Asking to view a historical document and sneaking in a quill pen and inkwell to modify it.

Citing your doctored document on Wikipedia.

Befriending a history professor and asking them to mention your fake Kansas senator in a published paper.

Falsifying movie running times just because you can get away with it.

Citing an obscure magazine as your source on Wikipedia because nobody will bother to check.

Clinging to the scraps of the past that you've salvaged from eBay and garage sale VHS tapes.

Poor documentation of pop culture leading to compelling mysteries.

Drowning true information with false information.

The downside of having a unique Google string.

Having repercussions on all levels of nested reality.

Dreams as really lazy storytelling.

Remembering facts without remembering their origin.

Getting stuck opening a door to mask dream loading time.

Making up any old bullshit and being convinced it's a Beatles rarity.

Desperately fleeing from the "The End" title card.

Realizing your dream is actually just the plot of The Neverending Story.

Support Topic Lords

...more

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2. Conjure A False Gobot

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