AlexShannonTree lawhttps://www.tumblr.com/whistletown/721716818422677504https://www.tumblr.com/whistletown/723346723280453632Tax Heaven 3000When I was a kid I read about a magic trick where if you touch your index fingers together and cross your eyes, a disembodied third finger appears between them.This is the kind of thing we had for entertainment in the 80s.https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poems/156405/outbreaksBest food byproductsExhausting topics before the show even starts.Should we give bee educators guns?Lords with lord awards.Megalords lording over huge swaths of topics.Getting your partner a very smooth engagement ring so it hurts less when they punch you in the face.Trimming a tree in the middle of summer.Tree law consequences.The Hitman games, you know, with the bald guy Whether Hit People are hired to kill likable or dislikable people.Games with missions designed to make you feel bad about what you're doing but also to give you no choice but to do it.Injured while sl searching for bodies in Lake Mead? Demand compensation!A cute anime girl who really wants to help you prepare your taxes.MSCHF.Calling the Key 4 All hotline for real time data on the car's location and speed.Playing Geoguessr to determine where the car is.Reverse engineering the smell of WD-40.Using the car for purposes of a car.The legal standing of Public Universal Car.Don't rotate the donut, you gave to rotate the pie Legal MSCHF.Taking the SATs for money.Writing a list of demands in a child's scrawl and sending it to your senator.Seeing the Vienna sausage with knuckles.Getting a book of Magic Eyes in the 90s and staring at it until you see the dolphin and having a splitting headache for the next day and a half.A jump scare in Magic Eye form.Why we all need glasses.Listening to your dad listening to a podcast.Disappearing your own nose.The purpose of feeling boredom.The impossibility of being bored when libraries exist.Paleolithic man enjoying memes.Why campfire smoke always blows into your eyes.Building a prehistoric highway system and using one of those printers that prints on the road so paleolithic man can enjoy dank memes.What kids get in their stockings today now that iTunes gift cards are obsolete.Why keep any DVDs?A common metaphor for a problem that can be overcome by relaxing.The most racist shrimp.It's not a firearm, it's just an explosive knife.Begging your mom to buy you the Krazy Krabs.Putting on a brine shrimp show for your family members.A spring loaded rigid whip.Kitchen Somebody.Searching for comfort and the eels come.The neon 24 hour fried chicken sign gleaming behind the pines.Finding god in a cluster of eels beneath your palms.Have you given god a pizza?A different eel pizza meme.All the Breaking Bad fans coming to your neighborhood and throwing pizza on top of the Pizza Eels for a photo opportunity and the eels are getting extremely fat.Feeding the sharks by stuffing a dive suit full of chum.A cooking process that creates a byproduct that you can use to cook something else.Calling bean juice "aqua fava" and styling.Browning the whey to create a delicious paste loaf.The two-in-one, in which they put two taquitos into a burrito.Glorpamole.
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